“I’ve seen it all.” That’s you when you woke up this morning. “I’ve seen it all, there’s nothing left to see that I haven’t seen. Ecclesiastes 1:9 — there’s nothing new under the sun. I always suspected that Bible quote was true and today I know for a fact that it is. Nothing to see here, just the same old garbage.” Oh yeah? OH YEAH, THAT’S WHAT YOU THINK? From The Huffington Post:

For the past two months, animal trainer Mark Vette has been teaching dogs to drive, New Zealand TV station Campbell Live reported. The lessons are part of a campaign by the New Zealand Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA), meant to clear up “common misconceptions” about rescue dogs.

“Sometimes people think because they’re getting an animal that’s been abandoned, that somehow it’s a second-class animal,” SPCA Auckland CEO Christine Kalin told the New Zealand Herald. “Driving a car actively demonstrates to potential rescue dog adopters that you can teach an old dog new tricks.”

“Meant to clear up ‘common misconceptions’ about rescue dogs, like that they cannot drive cars like humans and look exactly like humans when they do it, and also the misconception that when someone sends you a video about dogs driving cars it is definitely going to be a joke video.” DOGS! DRIVING! CARS! YOU JERKS!

Please go out and adopt a rescue dog now! They can drive cars! They can be your personal drivers and drive you around town and you can buy them a hat and they can wear the hat and you can say, “Woof woof, where are we going today!” in a dog voice and then answer, “We’re going to the mall!” And then give the dog whatever treat means “mall” AND THEN THE DOG WILL DRIVE YOU TO THE MALL. Adorable. You can teach an old dog an amazing and totally dangerous new trick.

Comments (22)
  1. Does this mean we can get a Drive remake with Uggie instead of Ryan Gosling?

  2. Obvious problem: Without fingers, they have a really hard time programming the GPS unit, so they’re constantly stopping and asking for directions. Also, you need to put the window lock on the passenger side, because, well, dogs and car windows.

  3. But what happens when the cat figures out the dog can drive? Total cat domination, you guys! They’ve just been waiting for chauffeurs!

  4. “So Driving Talking Dog, where we headed?”
    “WHARF!”
    “Can you be more specific?”
    “FISHERMAN’S WHARF!”

    I love that joke.

  5. That dog needs to keep it at 10:00 and 2:00.

  6. I feel like if your name is Mark Vette, then a job involving both animals and cars is the most efficient complement to your last name possible.

    • That was my first thought. Just another example of how society favours Dogs to keep down the accomplishments of Cats. Wake up, sheeple.

  7. shouting “you son of a bitch!” at other drivers is going to become more accurate.

  8. I kept waiting for them to explain how the dog worked the pedals, but I guess we’ll never know.

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