Guys, I’m not suggesting that we go so far as to live our lives without irony, I’m not an IDIOT, but there is something about throwing yourself into the holiday season and just soaking up as much of its earnest, somewhat forced insistence on family and gratitude and egg nog and sweaters as you can. (See also: PRESENTS! LOLOLOL!) Seriously, though, the holidays are great, this video is great, Jimmy Fallon loves his job, Mariah Carey has a beautiful voice, THE ROOTS, children, pretty lights, the smell of pine trees, being all together in a warm room, the whole thing. Let’s just love it. It will be gone in a couple weeks and we’ll be right back in our dumb old swamp.

Comments (39)
  1. Mariah is always entertaining. I don’t’ even know if it’s on an ironic level anymore. Don’t care.

  2. “i’m gunna show that ‘Call Me’ Bitch who’s boss.” – Mariah dialing Jimmy Fallon’s number

  3. I was enjoying this a lot, and then those adorable children popped up and it was like “SURPRISE! YOUR BIOLOGICAL CLOCK IS TICKING!”

  4. Ugly sweaters and cute kids? I’m in.

  5. I really need this right now because the old woman who works right behind my left shoulder is chomping on some ice and it’s MAYBE the most disgusting thing ever. So I need something super postive to distract me so I don’t wheel around and punch her in the face.

    Also, no irono, I love Mariah Carey and her ridiculous star boobs forever.

    • She’s eating a balogna sandwich now, somebody please shoot me through both ears.

      • I will simply listen to this again in headphones. Make the most of a bad situation.

        • woman next to me has chronic/gross/productive cough. will not comment more because she’s probably a nice person.

          • You’re a better person than I am because if I could, I’d comment on these gross mouth noises all day long. I’d never stop commenting on them. It doesn’t even matter if she’s nice or not (in this case she’s not, but regardless) because if there’s one thing I can’t abide, aside from the thought of something crawling into my butthole when I’m going to the bathroom in the middle of the night, is the sound of someone’s cold bologna sandwich sticking to their teeth.

          • Is anyone still reading this thread? Because she’s eating an apple now and I want to cry.

          • I feel you. I might consider giving up my right to vote if we could go back to the days when people ate at home and in restaurants and NOT AT THEIR DESKS. The endless symphony of carrot crunching and spoon clinking that occurs from 11 to 3 every day is turning me into a seething ball of rage and anxiety.

            And for a pretty soft food, balogna sandwiches are WRETCHEDLY loud. I had a coworker who ate one slowly every morning. It sounded like an octopus climbing the Washington Monument.

    • I have this dress from Zara that’s basically a sack dress, but it has two silver buttons in the chestal area that are apparently evocative of nipples. I used to wear this dress all the time, and then one day someone I don’t know commented on the nipple buttons in a photo my friend posted on Facebook. I’m not sure I’ve worn the dress since.

  6. That was a delight! A+, would ‘aw’ again.

  7. This is my very favourite Christmas song, and maybe the only one I can stand to be honest except Christmas in Prison by John Prine. This was excellent. My favourite part of December is the millions of videos of people dancing to this song!

    • Not even Good King Wenceslas, aka the best Christmas carol of all time?!?!

    • I drunkenly ranted last year about how one reason Mariah Carey is an unimpeachable great despite all of her weird/ugh moments is that she made a truly classic xmas song and how hard that is to do, especially with more contemporary artists.

      I soberly stand by that statement today.

  8. Nothing says Christmas like a red dress with stars on the nipples.

    • This reminds me I have to stop by the craft store on the way home so I can get some iron-on stars to put on my fancy dress for the work Christmas party on Saturday. Star boobs 4 lyfe.

  9. I kind of absolutely hate this song, but somehow the Roots make it more tolerable.

  10. That irony article is like GOOP-level-the-worst. AS IF irony is not an important deconstructive tool in the hands of queer or non-white hands. AS IF irony isn’t a reasonable response to feelings of ambiguity and ambivalence when approaching a ubiquitous and increasingly schizophrenic and incoherent extant media. AS IF the “New Sincerity” movement hasn’t been the modus operandi of the already obsolete “hispter” culture for the past, oh, six years. AS IF pop cultural references are somehow less “valid” or “sincere” or “authentic” than “literature” or “high art”.

    Seriously, the worst.

    • in keeping with the article’s message, i have to say that I don’t understand why everyone is so reactionary towards that article. it DOES make some valid points about sarcasm, “nostalgia”, and instant irony-doused reactions to everything, which is largely due to the way people communicate on the internet.

      • Fair nuf.

        But I rampantly object to the platitudinous self-help styled message, AS IF rejecting “irony” will allow us to suddenly discover a new meaning or authenticity in our otherwise empty lives.

        SPOILER ALERT: there is no meaning or authenticity.

        Throwing out all of irony, which would certainly include camp sensibilities, because a few people have silly mustaches and wear wolf shirts seems a little baby/bathwatery to me.

        • i agree with everything you said except that “there is no meaning or authenticity” to “our otherwise empty lives”. on that I couldn’t disagree more.

          not to go on a spiritual or pseudo-philosophical screed, but i believe they are self-defined.

          • sure sure existentialism and all that good stuff. ive just been reading too much Foucault for the past 2 years to feel good about anything ever again.

          • I was really concerned when I started reading your comments because I didn’t even catch that link Gabe threw in there. But now I know what you’re talking about, so at least I have the context.

            The article lost me right away. Look at the second sentence: “The hipster haunts every city street and university town.” REALLY??? EVERY city street and university town? Come, on, Gray Lady…

    • That article gave me a headache. Very French-professor-y, if you ask me. The musings of a slightly humorless humanities academic with too much time to over-think things about culture.

  11. I love this song SO MUCH you guys…I always joke about how I listen to it on a loop, especially this time of year, but the joke is funny because it’s true! It’s a great song and it’s a beautiful sentiment and I love this time of year because I get to see my family! And I get to give gifts to people! And cause of snuggling on a cold night! But mostly my family because they all live really far away and it’s a real bummer that most of them I only get to see once a year.

  12. It’s very thoughtful of Mariah Carey to wear her dress that shows a holiday-appropriate amount of cleavage.

  13. After a very crappy/sad beginning to my holiday season, I think I’m back on track to getting in the xmas spirit! Thanks Gabe!!

  14. Jimmy Fallon is super adorable! I don’t go out of my way to watch his show or anything, but every time he pops up on my Internet I am utterly charmed. It helps that he seems to respect and hire women even though it’s an open secret in comedy that women are never funny! But even without that, he seems like an earnest, sweet man who enjoys life and people and sharing and holiday spirit.

    Also, OMG THOSE BABIES.

  15. Jimmy and The Roots I’m pretty sure can make anything better.

    I love how Jimmy always seems like a kid in a candy store on his show. He seems to genuinely enjoy himself. It’s such a refreshing change from all the rampant sarcasm and cynicism.

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