Are you a daddy but you have no idea how to be a daddy, like Kelsey Grammer? Are you out there thinking, “Man, I became a daddy thinking that I was going to be a-ok at it, like, I don’t know, I always grew up watching daddies on TV and I was like, ‘I could do that, probably, when I reach daddy age,’ but now that I’m AT daddy age and I have a child of my own and I just have no idea what to do with the thing! Do I feed it? If so, how often? How do I treat the mommy — good or not so good? Or does it not matter? Does the kid need to sleep and, if so, when? Daytime or nighttime? Does it need naps? How did the baby get made? I mean — I don’t mean specifically, I don’t need to know all the Doctor details or whatever, but I just mean…What happened?” If that string of questions sounds like you: HAVE NO FEAR! This gentleman has created a simple, easy-to-remember rap that will answer all your pressing daddy-related questions. Please enjoy!

So good. I love it. Every mommy should be so lucky to have a daddy so scared about getting into household chore related arguments. Love this daddy! (Also I promise I will never say “daddy” again!) (Via ViralViral.)

Comments (15)
  1. A lot of dad talk today

  2. I can tell you one thing: you’re never going to make a baby if you wear cargo shorts to bed.

  3. This seems like it is relevant to Facetaco’s interests.

  4. That poor Dad has to do everything.

    • I know! It’s like, “Here’s how to be a good Dad. Literally do everything always.”

      Except have any sense of rhythm or rhyme-scheme. That is not a requirement for being a good dad.

      • I can’t wait for the lawblog dad-rap and the attendant shout-outs to all the monster dads. #wedadsters

        • Here’s my first lines:

          This song goes out to all the Mike Bradys
          Who put their penis in a lady
          She said “Condom” You said “Don’t bother”
          Guess what? Now you a fuckin father!

          Sounds good?

  5. Rule #12: Don’t embarrass your kids by posting raps/bath footage on the Internet.

  6. Sometimes you have to get your Daddy on, because Mommy had to get your Daddy off.

  7. Just another normal day watching strangers’ kids in the bath.

  8. Yeah, he couldn’t figure out how to hear the music and videotape at the same time. That’s why it’s so arrythmic. Should’ve recorded it first and then lip-synced.

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