There are actually too many trailers this week. It’s kind of annoying. I love a bunch of trailers as much as the next guy, but at a certain point you are like, enough with all the trailers! Haha, some weeks there aren’t enough! That’s just the way life goes, I guess. Oh well. Good luck!

I Give It A Year

Can we please just officially create a ban on “bad wedding toast” scenes in movies? I’m choking on bad wedding toast scenes at this point. They’re rarely that funny, and they always take me out of the narrative because the only way to do them at this point is to go bigger and more outrageous. Other than that, this looks great. Seriously. I love a romantic comedy and everyone in this is good. Bye! Oh wait, no, not bye, more trailers:

Snitch

Whatever. Sure. (Yes, yes, Omar! Shane! I know.) It’s fine. I don’t know. Who cares. The thing that I actually want to say is that at a certain point we’re all going to have to man up and be adults and admit that The Rock is kind of good in movies. This kid has got something!

Parental Guidance

Nooooooooooooo comment! (Actually, though, the part where the kids laugh at his terrible dad joke made me laugh really hard.)

Jack The Giant Slayer

This stuff is not cool to me. These big, CGI-filled retellings of old fairy tales and stuff? I don’t know, maybe I’m weird, but I don’t think it’s cool or interesting and it does not fill me with excitement. Next trailer, please.

Epic

Brave?

Black Rock

Hahhahahahahah AHHHHHHHH. I mean, not haha. At all. The opposite of haha. But also: “Screenplay by Mark Duplass. Directed by Kate Aselton.” It’s basically an episode of The League starring The Puffy Red Chair, if u think about it.

Dark Skies

“Should we include the ‘epic game of Modern Warfare‘ line in the trailer?” “Bro! Do you even have to ask?!” [Trailer Editor Fist Bump]

The Baytown Outlaws

Sons of Anarchy: Full Throttle.

Möbius

Jean Dujardin AND Buddy Garity in a thriller? Uh, yeah. Yes. Did I stutter motherfucker? Yes!

This American Life: “The Invisible Made Visible”

Mostly this trailer is just weird because this event was not THAT long ago and since then David Rakoff has died and Tig Notaro has become mega-famous for all of the sad things that happened to her. Bummertown. (Not that Tig is famous, she should be famous, but also she was always funny and I do think it’s annoying that she needed the “hook” of cancer to get the recognition she already deserved. But Rakoff is just a heartbreaker straight up.) It just goes to show you, you really never know what the future holds!

Love Is All You Need

Lotta accents in this movie. At first I thought it was just the Norwegian accent and Pierce Brosnan’s vague patrician accent, but then what is up with his son? Was he raised by a museum? Not to mention that we didn’t even hear any Italian accents in the trailer but you know there’s got to be some Italian accents. Got to.

Bad Kids Go To Hell

If you set aside the difficult to swallow premise that any school in the world in 2012, much less an elite private school with uniforms, would lock its students in a room and leave them there overnight, and ignore the hackiness of seances and Indian burial grounds, it is admittedly hard to even tell what you would have left, but at that point this movie seems…fine? What is it, though? What is this movie though for real?

Comments (16)
  1. Black Rock doesn’t look like a mumblecore thriller but maybe it will be

  2. There are no save buttons, Dark Skies. I guess maybe if you’re on the PC. But they’re probably playing multiplayer which you can’t save or even pause. Ya nerd.

  3. As The Rock’s new best friend, I agree with Gabe. My new best friend, The Rock, is really great in movies! Also he helped me move a TV that was super heavy, which was very sweet of him.

  4. RE: Jack the Giant Killer- The ‘we green-screen everything’ is getting very old. I understand that digital 3-D matte paintings is the most cost-effective thing for realizing fantastical worlds, but people acting on green-screen sets is off-putting. They’re not interacting with anything actually tangible, and no actor is good enough to not reveal that somewhere in there performance in a whole film of green screen.

    I’m not knocking VFX, of course. The computer is just another tool to tell a story, and sometimes you can only do things through VFX (ideally, people wouldn’t use VFX only because they are cheaper, but it is a business). It has its limitations just like everything else. The films that abuse VFX and take people out of the film usually are the ones that do not recognize the benefit of having tangible things for the audience to watch the actors interact with.

    Imagine if they made remade Labyrinth and it wasn’t a Henson production- They would computer animate the goblins, Hoggle, Sir Didymus & Ambrosius, they would computer animate Ludo and his rocks, they would computer animate the bubbles in the bog of eternal stench, as well as the bog itself. The talking doors, the spot of tea caterpillar, etc etc etc. That would SUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

    It’s hard to be left in awe of an amazing landscape when it’s all make-em-up. That’s why the sweeping shots of Iceland at the beginning of Prometheus are so good, as are the shots of New Zealand-as-Middle-Earth in the LotR trilogy (and now the Hobbit trilogy): Those are real places. “I want to go to there,” could be uttered, and then it’s just the matter of money and travel planning. Not “Too bad that shiny, insanely in focus super-detailed place doesn’t exist. [Sad trombone noise]”

    Without going into it at all, I will just say Holy Motors had an interesting green screen scene in the film, which was itself a commentary on the use of green screen in film.

  5. Please excuse my grammar and over-simplifying of the business of VFX

  6. I don’t think the “hook” of cancer is what drove Tig to stardom. It was how she handled it, along with the other hardships she was going through. However you look at it, “Live” is fucking divine, and Tig has earned every last bit of her recent success.

    • I was in attendance at Largo the night Tig performed “Live,” not because I knew it was going to be a big thing, but because Tig was moving to New York and it would be my last chance to see her before she went. Coupled with that, I am an avid Professor Blastoff listener, and was very much concerned for Tig, hearing about her rough year on the podcast as it happened week to week. Tig would make small comments here and there as the bad things started to happen, but by the time she got cancer they had no choice but to make Tig’s predicaments the focus on several episodes. At the time of the Tuesday Professor Blastoff episode, Tig had gone in for the biopsy, but had not been diagnosed. I didn’t know what she was going to do at the show, I just knew she had a lot on her mind.

      The entirety of “Live” blew the audience away. The whole room was vibrating on this crazy frequency of concern, support, and a kind of euphoric disbelief that we were all laughing with Tig at absurdness of the progression of tragedies heaped on tragedies.

      TL;DR The only thing I’m saying is I agree with what That One said: It was how Tig handled her mounting hardships she was going through and focusing it through her craft, meeting the opportunity of having a spotlight shone on her by one attendee’s tumblr post and the night’s comedian’s and Louis CK’s high praise and support of everyone needing to hear an amazing set, performed in front of an audience for the VERY first time that night.

      • …is what drove her to stardom (sorry for the run on sentence).

        Her star had already ascended a couple spots due to her appearance on “This American Life: The Invisible Made Visible,” because her Taylor Dayne story was awesome and a lot of people got a kick out of it.

  7. The little league scene in Parental Guidance was shot near my house and my friend’s kid was a “featured” extra (“I have friends” – GBZ, #humblebrag) so it is very likely that I will have to see that movie. FML.

  8. “We’re going to go to the island and reconnect… YAYYYY!” *

    *how normal women talk all the time

  9. I just have to say… What is wrong with that little girl’s face in Parental Guidance? She looks like a Sally Field doll that was left on space heater.

  10. I liked Epic better when it was called Ferngully.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.