Step 1: Make chili cheese nachos.
Step 2: Consider some of the mistakes you have made, but not the mistakes that are too upsetting to consider.
Step 3: Sit in bath for awhile.
Step 4: Clean under sofa cushions.
Step 5: Pick up phone repeatedly to call her, each time put phone back down in a panic.
Step 6: Take off all of your clothes.
Step 7: Kill yourself.
Step 8: Serve hot. Feeds 3-6. (Via TheClearlyDope.)

Comments (54)
  1. How to make chili cheese nachos:

    1. Throw your nachos the fuck away.

    2. Pour the chili and cheese into a bag of Fritos, instead.

    3. Maybe add some sour cream and tomatoes, too. And more cheese, just to be sure.

    4. Be happy forever.

  2. That zoom at the end is what gets you

  3. We were all preoccupied trying to keep our kids off the internet that we completely neglected our parents.

  4. Whoa. He went waaaaaaaaay too fast for me.

  5. That was a very poor nacho dip stirring technique.

  6. They wouldn’t tolerate this shit at Guy’s American Kitchen and Bar.

  7. “I’m Stephen Reed, and this was Weber Cooks.” Was not expecting that twist ending.

  8. That set is pretty great. They clearly had a big budget.

    Also, can the Drunk Kitchen girl and this guy make a video together?

  9. gabe, do you need a buddy to buy you a bottle of whiskey, and drink said whiskey with you, and then maybe make terrible decisions late into the evening where things and people might get broken? i’m good at that.

  10. 9. When you’re on the toilet losing it all later, play Johnny Cash’s “Ring of Fire” to have some fun and sing along with your diarrhea!

  11. Why doesn’t he microwave the chips?

  12. Wait. He called us wildcats… We never said we went to the University of Arizona… HE’S GOT A CAMERA ON THE BUS!!!!

  13. His career has really taken a hit since they canceled Wings.

  14. this is what I imagine when i wonder “if harvey pekar had a youtube channel….”

  15. “What are these nachos made out of?” If you think the answer is cheese and chips and chili—you’d be right—but you’re sorely mistaken if you think it ends there.” – Tim Allen

  16. Damn it, that just made me really very sad.

  17. I should have never showed my dad how to use YouTube.

  18. Four and a half minutes to heat up some chili and cheese?!?! I didn’t make it to the end because I started getting so depressed, but that chili came out all calcified right?

  19. That last zoom is like staring into the void.

  20. If you thought that was amazing wait till you see him make Rice A Roni

  21. Does this mean I can’t start my sentences with, “hello Wildcats” anymore?

  22. That was the most incredibly depressing dog food commercial I’ve ever seen.

  23. Yes that was depressing. But can we take a minute to talk about the fact that he totally RUINED that bag? No one’s coming over to eat those chips. They’re going to get so stale :(

  24. The emphasis on the 3 to 6 people serving size is the video’s real clincher, makes me wonder if that was the size of the family he never got to have.

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