Does it even matter why someone from the cast of Two and a Half Men (in this case Angus T. Jones, the half-man) would come out to say that Two and a Half Men is filth that no one should be watching? Those guys should know that better than any of us! They are very intimately acquainted with how terrible that show is! The only consolation they have for so many years spent making a garbage television show is the fact that billions of people will forever eat it up and that they are making more money than any of us could ever even imagine in our wildest money dreams and will continue to do so as long as the show remains in syndication, which will certainly be long after they have moved on to other projects. A small consolation, sure, but at least it’s something. It just so happens that in this particular case, Angus T. Jones is saying it because he recently joined the Forerunner Christian Church, whatever that is. From Deadline:

On Two And A Half Men, Angus T. Jones’ character was always looking up to his uncle, played by Charlie Sheen. Now Jones is emulating Sheen in real life with a tirade bashing the racy sitcom. “If you watch Two and a Half Men, please stop watching Two and a Half Men,” the religious teenager says in a testimonial for Forerunner Christian Church. “I’m on Two and a Half Men, and I don’t want to be on it. Please stop watching it, and filling your head with filth…. If I am doing any harm, I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be contributing to the enemy’s plan … You cannot be a true God-fearing person and be on a television show like that. I know I can’t. I’m not OK with what I’m learning, what the bible says and being on that television show.”

OK? I mean, you are still going to keep all of the money, right? And you aren’t quitting your job? Cool. “Just to be clear, God, I DID make a YouTube video once about how I didn’t want to be on the show if I was doing any harm. If. Pretty sure I lawyered the shit out of that one, 1 for Heaven plz.” I think even FANS of Two and a Half Men would agree that they enjoy the show because of how soothing the brain-rot feels, so, what gives? What gives, Angus T. Jones? What do you want? Guilt-free millions? No one gets guilt-free millions, I don’t think! I don’t know what the deal with your new church is and it’s probably a somewhat sad deal so I don’t even want to find out, but, uh, yes, you are right, Two and a Half Men is awful. No one should watch it. But lots of people do and will continue to until the world ends, hopefully in about one month. Let’s all get right with God and throw our TVs and computers out the window and take a long, long nap. Here is the video of him talking about all of this, which I have not watched and will not watch:

Ok! I hope you are happy and OK, Angus T. Jones! Don’t let anyone hurt you! Don’t hurt anyone else, other than by being on Two and a Half Men! Be careful! Stay safe!

Comments (25)
  1. Maybe it has less to do with some weird church and more to do with the fact that he is 19 years old and they are still referring to him as only half a man?

  2. When anyone starts talking about how the bible helped them and looking for a church or whatever automatically tune them out so … what did he say guys?

  3. I don’t know, guys. He must be pretty brave to go out on a limb like this after seeing the pictures from Kirk Cameron’s last birthday party.

  4. You don’t get 500 million dollars per episode without making a few errors in judgment

  5. let’s take this seriously, though. he is what 18-19? and been on TV since forever, being told what to do, sitting around with adults. the guy is going to break up and contemplate the meaning of his existence – or how he really could being doing something more meaningful. he’s likely been deprived of a real childhood. most people his age would likely turn to drugs, but thankfully a decade of working with Charlie Sheen has made sure he steered clear of that. It comes as little surprise that he would then turn towards a one-stop-shop for all the answers. poof. “Good-fearing” Christian is born [again].

    • This is a half-man rebellion against tv parents.

    • Actually he said–at least I think that’s what I read on TMZ–that he found Jesus after living a life dropping acid and–of all things– getting speeding tickets. I dunno, finding Jesus and believing in a Rapture where all the cool kids get magically zapped into heaven all to the tune of REO Speedwagon doesn’t sound like an alternative to speeding.

      Charlie Sheen, a bad influence?! Who would’ve thunk it?

      • i must say i find it interesting. as freeing and wonderful as it appears to us wage-slave civilians, one can still reach a point in their life where they have what 99.99999% of the world would consider an easy job and a fuck ton of never-have-to-work-again money and are absolutely miserable. necessitating an outlet of sorts.

  6. To summarize, don’t watch the terrible contemporary sitcom which kinda hates women, read the terrible 1500-year-old book which really hates women.

    • I’ve never understood the complaints of sexism. Everyone on that show is terrible; the men aren’t portrayed in a positive light, either.

  7. Not that I wanted to watch the show anyway, but this sort of thing just makes me want to watch it more.

    In this case I guess it’s ok though, since 0 times anything is still 0.

    • Saying something is the “work of Satan” ups it’s cool factor by 100. But yeah, this show was only good when he was little.

      My grandma loved it, but then again she had a poor command of the English language. She liked Charlie’s character because he was kinda grumpy I think and maybe for his shirts.

      • It’s not that the show is any cooler or anything but more that I am forced to stand with the thing these sorts of groups are against (well, most of the time…there must be something we mutually hate right??).

        • I totally agree. It’s like opposite day listening to evangelicals sometimes. On the plus side he joined the Seventh Day Adventists and not the Westboro Baptists, Armageddon/Doomsday Preppers, Scientologists, or Everyday Trump-Birthers.

  8. “I had some awesome sermons, and got some good learning and stuff”

    I just wanted to highlight that passage. Carry on.

  9. So which church is he donating all his lucifer satan devil show income to?

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