Oh brother. Guys, I love to have fun and I love Rube Goldberg devices and I enjoyed the movie Amelie even if it took a very emotionally empty look at Love As Special Effect. But not everything needs to have a clever twist, does it? Does it?! Lenny Kravitz, put down that RIDICULOUS iPhone and answer my question! Is riding a bike, one of the funnest things you can do, no longer enough? We have to put a bird on a bike ride now? Is all of this, our entire existence, just a dull and meaningless trudge towards death unless someone outside of ourselves points at us on the street and says “what is that?” If you make your kamboucha and nobody is there to barter for it with Edison bulbs, raw mollasses chewing gum, and rare “wormwood” seeds, did you even make your own kamboucha at all? Probably. Oh well. (Via TheDailyWhat. Buy Trotify here.)

Comments (18)
  1. england’s economy could tank on account of trotters loosing their jobs.

  2. Making your bike sound like a horse is pretty lame. I think this means I have to shoot you? I don’t know, I didn’t grow up on a farm

  3. For real though even with that terrible phone, ugly necklace and Mad Max vest Kravitz is such a babe.

  4. You know your business plan is awful when your entire market is the Hi Guy. (Chicago inside joke)

  5. That thing sounds worst than the Spoon Man with arthritis. (what the hell. Seattle, you get an inside joke too)

  6. For real, though, this is more annoying than the World Famous Bushman.

  7. I know for a fact that some asshole is going to ride down my designated bicycle street with this godforsaken contraption. This was my reaction when I saw it over the weekend and this is very much my reaction when I saw that video.

    I love Portland so very much, but sometimes I just hate it so much more.

    • True story: So my neighbor and I were talking about how awful the people of Gossip Girl are. And I said something about how my dream is that Serena gets sold into slavery or traded for a rug. And she said something about how they’re all nightmares and she wishes they would just die. So this guy is walking his dog past us and says something about how human trafficking is nothing to wish upon anyone, let alone death. So she says we’re talking about characters on a TV show and he says he doesn’t watch TV because OF COURSE HE DOESN’T. But I’m really glad that two hippies hanging out with their dogs on their front lawns give off the vibe that we’re casually into murder and human trafficking. Anti-coal but pro-trafficking.

      Fuck that guy. Seriously.

      • Hippies are the biggest human traffickers in the world. FACT*

        *According to my grandfather at Thanksgiving, in response to my hair length.**

        **This is totally made up, but my friends and I probably did hate on hippies on Thanksgiving.

        • Well I’m a terrible hippie if it makes you feel better. But I made an amazing vegan peanut vegetable stew for Thanksgiving. But then I ate it in front of my television…

  8. I wish it was smaller so you can sneak install it on someones bike

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