kevin_clash

Guys, let’s all be thankful this year. For whatever it is that we have. No matter how dark things may have gotten for us, let’s remember that someone else always has it tougher. And if things happen to be going particularly well, let’s celebrate that, too. Enjoy it! That’s wonderful! Hold onto that for as long as you possibly can, because you never know. You really don’t. One year you are flying high with an award-winning documentary about your life and an increased profile and long-deserved recognition for years and years of hard work and dedication, and the next year, well, things are different. I am speaking entirely metaphorically here, of course, simply pointing out one of any number of scenarios. I am certainly not talking about anyone specific because that would be inappropriate, especially at this time of year, and I am sure that if something like that was going on in someone’s life it would be hard enough for them to manage it without the added pressure of a bunch of strangers on some stupid who cares website weighing in. My hope for someone in an (imaginary) situation like that would be for them to at least spend this weekend with someone that they love, whoever that is, away from the toxic environment of public speculation, and to momentarily give thanks, yes, thanks, in spite of it all, because certainly there is something to be thankful for. There always is! Sometimes it is harder to find. I know that. We all know that. But let’s put in the work. We spend all year not putting in the work, so let’s at least put in the work now when we have the chance. In my own family, at the Thanksgiving holiday table, we go around and talk about what we are thankful for, and it is just as annoying and excruciating as you might think it sounds. It is exactly how you are picturing it. But the reason that I bring it up is because when I was younger, a child, and I honest to God do not remember which child it was and it was not me and I am not doing that thing that I do where I say “it could have been any child, let’s not name child names” when I am clearly talking about myself: I only know that it was not me, but not who it was–but some child, when asked to say what they were thankful for, said “thanks for dots.” That seems about right. Hopefully you are thankful for something more this year, because you should be, we all should be, but at the very least, thanks for dots. If nothing else.

Comments (33)
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  2. Happy Thanksgiving, American monsters! Happy regular weekdays, international monsters!

    As always, I am thankful for Tilda Swinton and Daniel Craig’s 90s hair.

  3. Hopefully that child didn’t mean Dots, the disgusting movie theater candy. The only reason to be thankful for them is because eating Dots allows you to appreciate good candy.

    • I’d like to think this child meant the tiny candy dots that come on sheets of paper that you got to chew off the paper. I know a grown up who, as a very hyperactive kid, was super into the extra work because weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Oh hey look! A butterfly! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

  4. I am thankful for Videogum. I don’t know what I would do without you monsters!*

    *Of course I do. I would get a lot more work done.

  5. I’m thankful for all the people on My Fantasy Thanksgiving List, Ludacris captioning weird Internet pictures “#NowThatsLudicrous”, my dog, Tokyo Jungle, whiskers on kittens, Kemonito, the send to Kindle app, HBO Go, Netflix Play Now, Hummus, Belgian beer, Redbull, quinoa, beavers, goosehounds, spicy Mexican peanuts, Joby (R.I.P.) and smart phones.

  6. I am thankful for most of you guys (no homo)! You’re seriously a bright spot every year, and this year especially. Also last year. This week may you eat well, pet a dog or cat, and sleep in at least once.

  7. i am thankful i now have one less documentary to watch on Netflix.

  8. I am thankful that I was just told I can go home.

  9. I really am very grateful for all of you. I work from home, so cyber hanging out with you nerds while I make *my* nerd sites really brightens up my day! I’m also grateful Barack Obama won the election and that I can say this at OUR dinner table without angry looks from two of my uncles. And I’m super grateful no one is in my office today so I could sleep in until noon. Woo hoo! Now let’s drink our sparkling apple juice (because it’s too early for booze and I just woke up).

    And I’m forever grateful for my puppy, who is the greatest being I have ever known (even if he stole my tofu last night during dinner).

  10. I also wish to give thanks for Videogum. No lie, this site has one of, if not the best group of commenters on the Internet. I sincerely wish you all a safe and very Happy Thanksgiving. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go try that new fangled Wii U over at the mall before heading to the airport.

  11. I am thankful for my basset Duke, and for the magic boot doctor who has promised to restore Duke’s latest chew toy while it’s in his custody. I am thankful for food, without which I would be hungry but also just so, so bored. I am thankful for the roof over my head and the clothes on my body, and for my family, and for my fiance; for good friends, and good books, and good (and not always good) alcohol.

    And this year, I am truly and earnestly thankful for this Internet community. I don’t even know most of your real names, but you, fellow monsters, are dear to me. I wish that I had found you when I was actually lonely, but like badideajeans I am alone for most of each day, and you and Duke make this all tolerable, if at a slight/enormous cost to my productivity.

    Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you love all the presents under your Thanksgiving tree.

  12. I’m also thankful for 311 an their fans. Last night Nick Hexum rescued some puppies from a trash bin. Two died, he kept one and he gave another one to some 311 fans. I started following 311 fans ironically but I’ve really come to like and appreciate them.

    #fullrange #FF https://twitter.com/NickHexum

  13. Seriousgum: I am thankful for this site and for all its wickedly funny commenters. I’m a daily reader / infrequent commenter, and Videogum is a necessary part of my daily humor diet. My job is sort of intense and stressful, and it’s a huge boon to know that in moments of angst I can click on my (always open) Videogum tab. Many are the conference calls when I’ve had to put my phone on ‘mute’ because I am laughing out loud at something I just read here. (In other news: I often have to ask on conference calls, “I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”) My life is mostly really, really super-great (fabulous partner! good job! loving family and friends! awesome dogs!), punctuated with heart-stopping moments of terrible bummer (ongoing IRS issue, courtesy of ex-husband). Anyway, I feel really fortunate, and I love being even a peripheral part of this community of people. Happy Thanksgiving, monsters!

  14. I am truly thankful for all you funny monsters out there, and Gabe and Kelly. Thank you all for the years of fun!

  15. I’m thankful for Videogum and its residents monsters, my husband and my cats, and the people in my department for funding me this year. I will try my best not to screw up my term papers.

  16. One year my boss handed out blank cards, and we were supposed to write thank you cards to our co-workers, just to be nice. I got one from the guy who sat next to me that simply said “Thanks for nothin’.” Being thankful is great!

  17. I’m thankful for you guys, Goop Magazine and Don Draper’s penis, which you are all now free to imagine I have photoshopped falling on to Gwyneth’s Paltrow’s fork.

  18. im thankful for being able to fly a few thousand miles to spend a few days with my family to listen to my parents yell at the dog. we don’t have a doggy door and she just stands at the door all day long to hang out for like 5 seconds and then she wants to come in and then she wants to go out. but they’re trying to teach her that that’s not how you do it, but my dog is like 15 years old people years, so she’s not learning any new tricks as they say. oh, and she’s deaf! and cute! love my dog! and my family!

  19. You guyz are simply the best! I am so thankful I get to post ridiculous ideas on this comment thread. I’m also glad that (little long story) a month ago I felt unneeded at work and had worried I would absolutely lose my job quite quickly and then asked for the entire week off this week and my boss begrudgingly let me have it off and then last week my boss said “Enjoy your WELL DESERVED week off” non-facetiously, which made me feel 1000 times better about not going into work for the last three days.

    I’m also thankful for having to take care of a chicken coop in Vermont for the last couple days and coming up with a 2 Dope joke at around 5 AM this morning: As my girlfriend’s dad was telling us about his chickens and how he’s lost some and has adopted some very amazing chickens with tons of personality, I responded, “Hen-tresting!” (NAILED IT!)

  20. Dear fellow VG Courtney Stodden fans/followers,

    Am I crazy, or does this not look like her usual self? http://www.thesuperficial.com/courtney-stodden-naked-turkey-11-2012

    Is it the lack of the lip curl? I am so confused! These photos are so earnest and sad, when normally I expect the opposite. Blame PETA?

    • Leaving this comment is evidence of how thankful I am for VG and it’s amazing commenters. You are all THE BEST!

      As a currently international monster, this holiday sucks. The internet is DEAD.

    • Good lord, she looks desperately sad. And different, because of the lack of weird frosted lip liner. I hope to look much happier, should I ever find myself naked with a turkey.

  21. When I am in the depths of despair, exhausted from crying and on the verge of passing out, “Thanks for dots” will be my ray of sunshine.

  22. I am thankful for my new job, even though it has taken me away from Videogum for a bit. I will hopefully back to reading/commenting more regularly in the next week or so. I am also thankful for my family (duh) and friends (duh again.) I am thankful that I have a home, and a car that works (mostly,) and clothing, and plenty to eat all the time. I am thankful for Benedict Cumberbatch and Idris Elba. I am thankful for this community and how much joy and laughter y’all have brought me since I started reading and commenting. Much love, Monsters.

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