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Today marks the first day in 2012′s Thanksgiving Work Week, one of the most wonderful Work Weeks of the year, and what better way to celebrate it than with a nonsense Thanksgiving-themed post on a pop culture blog? I cannot think of one better way! I am trying! I am really trying and I can’t! Many of you are probably travelling to all sorts of places this week to be with family, or staying in whatever place you’re in and having a “friendsgiving” which you will document endlessly on social media, or getting a Gobbler from Wawa and watching TV you need to catch up on, but what if you could do what you actually wanted to for a change? You know what I’m talking about! #EATINGDINNER #WITHCELEBZ What if you could gather up a bunch of celebrities you’ve never met, transport them away from their families, and force them to eat a Thanksgiving meal with only you and each other? Which ones would you pick for this perfect dream?!
Ryan Gosling: Can you pass any of the food?
You: Not until you say it.
Ryan Gosling: Please, can you just be reasonable? I’m not leaving — you have made that very clear — but I am very, very hungry. We’ve been sitting here all day.
You: We’ll eat when you say it.
Ryan Gosling: Ugh, fine. Will you marry me?
You: YES, YES! ONE HUNDRED TIMES YES!
Plz leave your perfect Thanksgivings in the comments and feel free to play this delightful game at any Thanksgiving dinner you may attend. “Grandma, literally no one cares about Devon Sawa anymore.” “But I love all the Final Destinations!”
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Oh man, I have been planning for this all my life. Tilda Swinton, James McAvoy, Stanley Tucci, Bette Midler, and Wishbone.
OOOOOOOHHHHH AND Craig Ferguson and Geoff. Also Idris Elba and Ellen Page.
These guys:
If these buddies can’t make it, I’d ask:
Jonathon Katz, R. Kelly, Scott Aukerman, Billy Corgan, and Birdie
just charlie gibson
Five clones of Christina Hendricks and a fuck ton of wine.
5? That’s HolloWAY too much Joan for one man!
-Says No Man EVER
five christina hendricks clones vs. the five salma hayeks (salmas hayek?) from across the universe in a no-holds-barred fight to the make-out-with-me.
But Kelly, is Guy Fieri catering your dream Thanksgiving or isn’t he?
I heard he was just going to wander house to house with a bushel of oysters and see what happens.
I’m so excited! There are too many people to choose. Oh man what if I fuck it up? Guy Fieri.
Nooooo!!!!!!
George Clooney and 1960s Peter O’Toole and the Treasure Buddies and the Obamas.
Since you didn’t mention The Rock, I’m going to have him at mine, but just as a manservant. I will also invite Penn Badgley so I can good-naturedly mock his outfits/hair and make him act out scenes from Gossip Girl for our amusement. Jason Segel and Michelle Williams can come and be the adorable couple who we all talk shit about when they leave because we’re jealous. And of course Chiwetel Ejiofor will be there as my date. And the whole thing will be catered by the owner of the haunted toaster.
1960s Peter O’Toole is my date because that way he won’t judge me when Michelle and I get very drunk on wine.
I’d have the entire cast of Parks & Rec over and we’d just talk about life, you know? I feel like that’s a group of folks who know what’s cool about life.
Ugh, except Gerry.
Gerry’s the worst.
Conan O’Brien and Amy Poehler for the funny. Cillian Murphy and Chloe Sevigny for the weirdness. Ryan Gosling for the pretty.
Kristen Bell (and Dax Shepard), Tim Gunn, Louis C.K., Enrico Colantoni, Aziz Ansari
I would love if Aziz Ansari showed up in the It’s Going to Happen One Day Veronica Mars Movie. So you should film that at dinner!
Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Amy Poehler, Neil Gaiman, Maureen Johnson, Sunita Williams…can we bring people back from the dead? Because that adds a LOT more to the list.
Topo Gigio
Kate
Feist
Donovan McNabb
Jake the dog
Hunter S Thompson
The one girl I ever loved
BMO
Annie Clark
Bo the Pomeranian
Chris Rock
Mans
Steve Winwood
A baby panda
Corey Booker
The monsters
The Munsters
Gabe and Kelly
Rod Serling
Ellen DeGeneres
My grandma
Season 6 of The Wire
BMO. just a whole buncha BMOs.
I can’t figure out what BMO means. Google is telling me Bank of Montreal, but that can’t be right because Canadian Thanksgiving was weeks ago.
Now I’m even more confused.
This explains it all http://vimeo.com/47317229
Oh I love him a bit! BMO is the best-o!
Red-Hot like Pizza Supper
Vincent Gallo is holding them all hostage.
Peter Krause is trying to reason with him, to no avail.
Ryan Gosling is tense, about to spring into action with a left hook. With his eyes, he is trying to tell you not to move.
Elizabeth Olsen is desperately, silently pleading for help.
Louise Belcher has just caught sight of either the FBI coming to the rescue, or Vincent Gallo’s torture accomplishes, I haven’t decided.
The sneezing red panda.
Maru.
A pygmy goat that headbutts puppies.
Agent Cooper
Batou
Dream (Morpheus)
Lizzy Caplan
Brian Huskey
Julie Klausner
Allison Brie
and
Larry David
OH! And Ruth from Six Feet Under S05
Bradley Cooper joined the FBI?!
COME ON, martinmegs…
Just as well, I want Bradley Cooper at my Thanksgiving.
Just be prepared for him to leave in the middle of dinner to go take a shower.
Eddie Vedder, Nate Silver, Norm MacDonald, Kristin Bell, Craig Ferguson, and Juan Monaco.
Martha Raddatz, too. Woman of the Year.
I’d like Eddie Vedder to go to Facetaco’s:
Facetaco: hey, daughter, pass the salt.
Eddie Vedder: …
Facetaco: What, are you thankful for, daughter?
Eddie Vedder: …
Facetaco: hey, daughter…Daughter!
Terry Pratchett, H. Jon Benjamin, Jackson Publick, and my best friend Malinda.
Amy Poehler, Joe Biden, Chris Hardwick, Morten Harket, Brian Keene, Rik Mayall. Phoebe Cates, Allison Brie, and everyone from Talking Heads except David Byrne.
(Fine, David Byrne can come, but he has to sit at the kids table with all the Romney sons.
1) History’s greatest wingman, Joe Biden
2) Emma Stone
Although I would also welcome the girls of Space Camp and special guest Joaquin Phoenix, successfully medicated Lark Voorhies, Spongebob, Bruce Campbell +1, and any ten monsters (bring wine).
And Jewel.
I’m only going to go if Gary is going…
Even without him, there’ll be a coneucopia of food.
Turn over to ESPN right now to see an interview with Sam Gordon. Adorable lever: infinite.
that should’ve been a tweet not a comment, right?
Eh, I saw it too. Super cute little girl. Hope she shows the boys who’s boss!
Bryan Cranston, Aaron Paul, Joss Whedon, Neil Patrick Harris, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and RuPaul!
Aaaah I have the same list. TWINSIES!
GUYSSSSS, I know no one will read this, but whatever! Today was my first day at my new job!!! Yay! It went really well! Everyone was super cool and very happy to answer my questions and whatnot! Huzzah!
Congrats on the new gig, summer estherson!
Thanks thanks thanks!
Yay!!!!
w00t!!!!!
Skyler
Walt
Jesse
Connie Britton
This is way too late and I know that no one will read it, but I have been making this list in my head for years and I will be damned if I do not get to share it at the only time it will ever be appropriate and only semi-weird.
Tina Fey (no doy)
Amy Poehler
Connie Britton
Lauren Graham
Paul Rudd
Louis CK (though he makes me nervous)
Mindy Kaling
Drew Barrymore (She wouldn’t show up without marijuana if you catch my drift)
Ryan Gosling (no doy redux)
Tom Hanks (party dad!)
Emma Stone
Good list! Solid.
Thanks! I’d also like to add Rashida Jones, though I worry I may be jeopardizing my odds with Gos.
I can’t do this. My ideal celebrity Thanksgiving guest list begins with me welcoming all my favorite male actors and ends with me waking up with all of them in my bedroom the next day. Food coma? I hope not.
Let’s hear it! (I reserve the right to crash your party)
Do I have to cook for these people, or can I request that they each bring a dish so I don’t have to do anything?
Joss
Felicia Day
Gene Kelly (can we invite dead people? we can, right?)
Daniel Craig
the Queen’s Corgis
and Jamie Oliver, if he’s cooking
I AM STEALING SOME OF YOUR IDEAS
Andy Dwyer
April Ludgate
BMO
Joe Biden
Gillian Jacobs
Maru
Sufjan Stevens
Idris Elba
Daniel Bryan
Blake Griffin
Sarah Vowell to give us all kinds of interesting, funny and depressing Thanksgiving history while we eat
Not one mention of the Cumberbatch. Videogum commenters, I thought I knew ye.
Tim and Eric with Bob Odenkirk and a side of John C. Reilly.
The Obamas (this would make my parents SO uncomfortable. It would be glorious)
Dane Reynolds
Pau Gasol & Metta World Peace
Tim Gunn
Conan O’Brien & Andy Richter
Mike D & Adrock
Danny McBride
Anthony Bourdain
Dave Grohl
Henry Rollins
Amy Poehler
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
Rachel Maddow
Michael K. Williams
Chris Pratt