Episode 107

Have you been watching season 2 of Homeland? Ugh, did you even watch season 1 yet?! Come on, guys. Keep up. Season 2 is great! Actually, last week’s episode and the week before that were both kind of duds for me. There was this one episode with an interrogation scene that was a real real good episode, and then I kind of felt like it didn’t build off of or maintain the momentum of that one. But now it is back! Homeland! One thing I was thinking while watching last night’s episode, though, where Sergeant Brody is being torn apart by competing forces in this dangerous game of international terrorism was how the show really doesn’t address in any meaningful or realistic way how much diarrhea Sergeant Brody must have at all times. Some of us get diarrhea at the simple thought of having to call in the pizza order. WHY CAN’T YOU CALL? WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO CALL? THE GUY WHO ANSWERS THE PHONE IS WEIRD AND I ALWAYS HAVE TO REPEAT THE TOPPINGS AND HE ALWAYS GETS MY NAME WRONG AND SOMETIMES I GET NERVOUS! There is no way that Sergeant Brody, in way over his head, manipulated by forces way outside of his control, his family unraveling all around him, and the imminent threat of death or imprisonment around every turn isn’t just filled to the brim with explosive diarrhea. Oh, I’m sure the Vice President’s wife is trying her best to cover it up, but at some point it’s going to come out. (Gross.) Seriously, though, how much diarrhea does he have? So much. But how much?

How Much Diarrhea Does Sergeant Brody Have?

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Poor Brody. Even if the government doesn’t get him and he somehow manages to escape Abu Nazir, the diarrhea will almost certainly start pouring out of his eyes and that can’t be good for you.

Comments (22)
  1. About as much as I now plan to have after Thanksgiving. Because I just found a way to make it the best day EVER:

    • Oh god I just had a heart attack looking at that. I will remember you as you lived, facetaco. With a love of bacon in your heart and a taco for a face.

      • The pictured turducken was not deep fried. Mine will be. Ever wondered what happens when a heart explodes?

        • I have wondered. That photo made me belch.

        • In order for deep frying a turkey to work it needs to have an empty cavity so that the oil can circulate, otherwise it becomes an oil-logged mess. In addition all of the stuffings and other birds will come out in the oil and burn. So, unfortunately, you can’t deep fry a turducken.

          My dad and I have made a turducken for the past 6 years, starting with the original paul prudhomme recipe and then making modifications based on what worked and what didn’t. This year we’re trying a method in which you cook the chicken sous vide, then wrap it with the duck, cook sous vide again, render the fat and crisp the skin, then stuff it in the turkey and roast it. It looks like it will combat presentation and overcooking problems. I will report back with results!

  2. Fact: the pizza-ordering nervouness is the #1 reason I am glad many places do online ordering. IN YOUR FACE, INTERPERSONAL CONTACT. JUST LEAVE THE PIZZA ON THE DOORMAT AND TAKE THE MONEY WEDGED UNDER THAT ROCK.

    • I live for the Dominos Pizza tracker. One time I hooked up my computer to my TV so I could watch it.

      I have a friend (totally not me, like DEFINITELY not me) who knows the different names of all the people who make the pizza, and has complex opinions about the quality and style of each of their pizzas.

      We prefer Latissa’s to anyone else’s.

  3. Not trolling: I dont care for this show. Watched the first three or four episodes of season one and first half of season two’s first episode. It seems so predictable and cheesy. I dont care about any of it. Case closed.

  4. I bet people who work in high stress government and military jobs have special anti-diarrhea medicine.

  5. It’s all those trips to Gettysburg.

  6. Also, Brody’s wife is really a reptile alien lady. That’s gotta add to the IBS he’s combating.

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