If I had 10 wishes, somewhere in the latter 5 I would wish that every video on the Internet were replaced with a video detailing the “most expensive” food or drink item for every food or drink in the world. “Oh please, please grant this wish for me,” I’d beg, even though it was guaranteed that I had 10 wishes and this certainly fit within them. “Please, all I desperately want to know is if anyone ever put a bunch of gold on a hot dog, or if someone has ever put a million tiny diamonds on an ice cream cone. Do you know what ingredients are included in the most expensive penne alla vodka? Please, please, PLEASE just let me watch a video about how expensive the most expensive bowl of cereal is.” Crying, I’d attempt to detail how important this wish was to me and to the world. “No,” the person in charge of granting the wish would say, even though nothing in the rules ever stated that he or she could refuse a wish. “That is a terrible wish and I refuse to grant it.” “WHAT THE HELL?” I’d scream, though I did somehow know that this wish would never be granted. And I’ll be left to savor the few “most expensive food item” videos that the Internet allots, like this one about a garbage omelette that a strange woman says she would spend $1000 on “once in a while” for “a nice treat.”


Comments (33)
  1. I once went to a restaurant that charged 5 euros for toast. TOAST! And an additional 5 euros for a glass of juice. That is like 12 bucks for juice and toast! They had one waiter, who was a surly old man who would barely speak to customers, and when we were sat at our table he just put the placemats and silverware on the table all together, didn’t place them in front of anybody in particular. It was a weird place.

  2. I am actually quite heartbroken to realize that a omelet that costs 100x more than my omelets is not 100x more delicious. I demand the internet videos for most delicious foods! (Actually I will probably just watch Man vs. Food and daydream about sandwiches).

    • Most delicious sandwich?

      P.S. Anybody who says it is the reuben will be excommunicated.

      • For me it is the Cuban sandwich, followed closely by pastrami. Although grilled turkey, tomato, avocado, and mozzarella is also delicious.

        If anyone needs me, I will be in a sandwich reverie until December 21, at which point I will die because 2012. But I will die with that which I love above all else.

        • There was a place I used to go that had the absolute best sandwich ever made. It had chicken, steak, bacon, lettuce, tomato, mozzarella, and oil, but it was in Italy so it had really good and really fresh ingredients. I still occasionally dream about that sandwich. Not even daydreams, but actual dreams. When I went back on vacation last year, I took a train an hour each way just to get that sandwich.

          • I love you both. Sandwhiches are really the top of the food chain. I love trying new foods, fancy foods, etc., and when I went to Iceland, I wanted to try some Icelandic food, made sure I ate lots of fish. BUT, dammit, the place I ate most often was a little cafe, and now I suddenly miss the place. Nice environment, free refills on coffee, and just frickin killer sandwhiches. I want to go back and to never leave except to buy more books to read there.

          • I had a sandwich in Italy once that was amazing, despite the lack of meat (I know! It seems impossible, but there you have it) – mozzarella, zucchini, yellow squash, tomato and oil, pressed until it was warm and gooey but not crunchy. I tried to go back the next day for another, but the place was closed and I seriously almost cried. I have thought longingly of it ever since. I might honestly commit some sort of a felony for that sandwich again. Italy’s doing something right.

      • You are a man of mercy. 0

        • Apparently, when, right after finishing typing and hitting send, I adjust my sleeve, there is still time to slap 0 before the message is posted. Good to know.

      • We found this place that makes a grilled cheese sandwich stuffed with braised short ribs. It’s my new go to sandwich.

      • My most delicious sandwich is not a sandwich at all but a sushi roll. They don’t have it on the menu at my favorite sushi place, but they make it for me. It’s called the sweetheart roll and it’s heart shaped with tuna, avacado, rice and other delicious stuff topped with ginger sauce. Ok now I’m hungry.

        • Sorry, Kate, doesn’t count. It sounds great if you like sushi (and I do not), but that is not a sandwich! Courts have ruled that simply being wrapped in starch does not make something a sandwich, in the landmark case of Panera Bread vs. QDoba Mexican Grill.

      • The best sandwich on the West Coast is called the Godmother, from Bay Cities Deli in Santa Monica. Genoa salami, mortadella, coppacola, ham, prosciutto, provolone, and “the works,” with hot peppers.

        • OK maybe I need to give this another try, but the one time I went they gave so little meat! Like all those meats, but one little slice of each or something? I was sad. (Favorite L.A. sandwich spots – Mendocino Farms, Artisan Cheese, and Larchmont Village Wine, Cheese & Spirits.)

    • YOU GUYS! The sandwich place right around the corner from where I live where I take everyone who comes to visit because it’s so good was just named the best sandwich place in all of NYC by Zagat’s!!!! It’s so awesome for them but it’s terrible for me because the lines are now super long.

  3. I’m just disappointed with everyone involved in this. They could do better.

  4. I wanted to create a blog reviewing and searching for the best Eggs Benedict but then I googled it and someone already had a blog doing that so I left a comment saying “your blog sucks” and moved on.

  5. When ever I see what rich people pay for things I always imagine they see the same price with the decimal point moved to the left, and depending on how rich you are the further left you go. For example, if this omlette costs ) $1,000.00 for me, it would cost (the equivalent of) $100.00 for the 5% and $10.00 for the 1% and $1.00 for the $0.01%. That is how I waste a lot of my time people.

  6. That omelette looks like an ugly butt.

  7. That seems like a cheat to make a normal omelet and then put $800 worth of caviar on it to make it the world’s most expensive. I’m going to start serving the world’s most expensive Caesar salad, which will be a normal Caesar salad topped with several crisp $100 bills.

    • I want to go there and order it, ask them to hold the cavier and then pay like, oh, 30 bucks for the meal? Then get kicked out. Hopefully, literally thrown out.

    • I like how the first ingredient was “six eggs,” and he went out of his way to say they were not expensive. At least tell us they’re organic and straight from the farm next door! Put in a little effort, man.

  8. Oh these are just the omelets Gwyneth is always eating in You Can Make it Ups, right?

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