There are a lot of trailers this week, you guys. Which is great news for the trailer heads out there. (Although I suppose if you were a real trailer head, you would have already watched each trailer as it came out, rather than waiting days for an end-of-week trailer round up. But still.) There’s a Wizard of Oz trailer and a Tina Fey/Paul Rudd trailer and that female buddy cop movie trailer and all kinds of stuff. Let’s just get out there and enjoy ourselves.


Admission

It’s weird when so many people you enjoy make something you are almost positive you will not enjoy. Or wait, not weird, what’s the word I’m looking for? Common. Surprisingly common.

House Of Cards

This is not actually a movie, it is a series…on Netflix? But it does have movie stars IN it, and it was developed by David Fincher, so it practically counts. Also it looks really good! Keep that in mind too, before you write to your lawyer to sue me for breach of conceit!

21 & Over

Project Y. The Hangover Part 21. Can’t Hardly Chang.

The ABCs Of Death

There is no way in hell I am watching this. You’re welcome to watch it if you want, but man, there is a whole world out there, guys. Let’s make smart choices!

The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones

Sure! This looks fun. I do not know the books or anything, but I love a good secret demon hunter who can see the hidden monsters at the coffee shop. I also love a dramatic cappuccino close up. The cappuccino is haunted!!!!!

Silent Night

Is it just me or do remakes of 1980s Christmas horror movies start earlier and earlier every year? LOLOL GOOOD JOKE WE ARE HAVING FUN TODAY WITH THESE TRAILERS!

The Europa Report

OK. I don’t know? OK.

Oz: The Great And Powerful

Personally, I’m not a huge fan of these hyper-saturated retelling of old stories with bigger guns and more magical castles or whatever, but I understand that they find their audience and make lots of money. It’s just a little funny in this particular instance where you are dealing with a PARTICULARLY iconic movie to imagine how quickly this will get relegated to the dustbin of history in comparison. “Hey, remember that Wizard of Oz movie with James Franco?” “No.”

The Canyons

If for nothing else, this movie is already great for helping us watch Brett Easton Ellis lose his mind on Twitter. And probably for nothing else full stop.

The Heat

This looks pretty good! I think there are going to be some moments that we, because you know how we can get, will find a bit lazy or disappointing, but the fact of the matter is that Sandra Bullock is pretty charming and Melissa McCarthy is very funny, and also Paul Feig, and police, and jokes. This movie is APPROVED.

Comments (36)
  1. IT’S TRAILER NIGHT IN AMERICA.

  2. WOOHOO! I was a production assistant on The Europa Report! I don’t know if it’ll be good, but I was there!

  3. Someone tell Hollywood that I would really appreciate it if they would stop with the remakes and reboots already? Sequels and prequels are still allowed, but let’s at least PRETEND we’re keeping the ideas original.

    HOWEVER, if you are going to do a remake, then do a fucking remake. Don’t make a movie with elements that are vaguely similar to an older movie (e.g. killer dressed up as Santa) and give it the same name and call it a remake. THAT IS NOT WHAT A REMAKE IS.

  4. For Oz: The Great And Powerful after it said “From the director of the Spider Man Trilogy ” I thought it was going to say, “Nah guys just kidding it’s Tim Burton again”

  5. Rotten Tomatoes predictor:

    Admission 91%
    House Of Cards Our best guess for you 3.9 stars -Average of 517,719 ratings:
    3.3 stars
    21 & Over 52%
    The ABCs Of Death 49%
    The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones 72%
    Silent Night 38%
    The Europa Report 54%
    Oz: The Great And Powerful 85%
    The Canyons 32%
    The Heat 88%

  6. There is no way in hell I am watching this. You’re welcome to watch it if you want, but man, there is a whole world out there, guys. Let’s make smart choices!

    These sentences are the best sentences. I would like to give them a high five.

    • ALSO instead of watching the ABCs of Death, I am just going to re-read Edward Gorey’s The Gashlycrumb Tinies. I suspect it will be much shorter and more charming.

      • Also Also: to all my fellow Kates, we should watch out

      • SERIOUS QUESTION: Are there any authors for children these days who incorporate darker themes, like Edward Gorey and Roald Dahl? Aside from maybe the Lemony Snicket stuff? I mostly just need to know what I should encourage Facetaquito to read.

        • I am blanking but feel llike there is something out there. Is it okay if sometime down the line I respond to a random post of yours with suggestions?

          • Of course! Assuming I remember this conversation in the future.

          • Cool cool. It sounds like you’ve already checked them out, but Lemony Snicket is rad for sure.

          • Lemony Snicket was good and got better. And I feel like there SHOULD be more, but I can’t think of any. And also he’s only 2, but it’s never too early to cultivate good taste!

          • Never too early. My welcome home present (he and his family went on a trip for a month) to the then under 1-year-old child of my best friends was a screenprint in Elvish of his name and birthdate.

            Lemony Snicket is coming out with a new series and collaborating with the cartoonist Seth, who is awesome.

        • Neil Gaiman would be good. Other than that I don’t know because I am a million.

  7. as an exercise, i think i might start watching trailers and then writing full screenplays – inserting the scenes where i see them coming and then going to the movies and seeing how close-to-right i am. that would, at the very least, make some of these actually entertaining.

  8. I HAVE IMPORTANT NEWS. I went to check out the directors for ABCs of Death and guess what the “F” Segment is titled?!

    “F is for Fart”

    I am not joking. “F is for Fart”. It’s a possibility that someone might die from a fart in this movie which for some reason makes me so happy.

  9. 21 & Over is terrible, at the least simply because they make calling someone by their full name all the time sound wicked awkward and strange as opposed to totally natural and unavoidable, which is how it sounds when you have a friend who is always called by his full name.

    • But! You guys, I am super excited that the movie is about an Asian man, even if his two white friends are probably getting more screen time. I know that Videogum is not Racebending or Angry Asian Man, but we care about diversity, right? And that Asian men are only rarely in starring roles, and almost never in starring roles that don’t require training in martial arts?

      I mean the movie looks kind of bad, but I hope it does well. Also, I met Justin Chon at a bar in Koreatown and he was really cool. (I don’t approach celebrities as a rule, but I only knew him from a Koreatown youTube series that I had watched EARLIER THAT DAY, and the coincidence was blowing my drunk mind. Also the bar was empty except for his group and my group. (Why am I making excuses? I’m embarrassed now. Don’t hate me, guys.))

      • I’m with you on this, but isn’t non-white actors being in terrible things actually a sign of progress? We all get to fail miserably and go for the lowest common denominator, yayyyy!!!!

        • I just hope it makes a buttload of money and other studios take notice that Asian leads don’t mean box office death. Then again, if Harold and Kumar didn’t accomplish that…sigh…

    • A lot of Asians get called by full names because some of our full names are real short. Mine is two syllables when you take out the -anie after Steph, and many of my friends call me by it a lot of the time. It does not sound awkward when they do, though.

      • I love the full name thing. I went to an all boys Catholic high school and for some reason that type of place is huggggge on calling people by their full name. I miss it, as I only have one friend now who always gets his full name and no one that gets last name only.

        • YOU’RE A BOY??? (That is not an insult – I just have you on my mental list of cool feminist monsters, and you don’t start your feminist statements with “I am a man, but…”)

          • Hahaha. I am a boy, a real live boy. I swear. (This isn’t me insisting I’m not a girl, it is me insisting I am not an android. I’m not.) I think the only time I’d be insulted if someone thought I was a girl was if they were looking at me, most especially if they were looking at me naked.

            I don’t really see the need to identify myself as a boy whilst discussing feminism, unless it is speaking directly about experiences I don’t/can’t have. I’m not a fan of the idea that a woman automatically knows more about feminism, because some people are just dumb. Now I’m thinking of times I have been told what a bad feminist I am, or what a douchey man I am just because I disagree with someone, they don’t know how to make a coherent argument, and they have breasts to my non-breasts. Relevent mini-rant!

  10. Yeah that thing you said about Admissions? That’s exactly how I feel. It just doesn’t seem fair that I cannot like a movie with Tina Fey and Paul Rudd. All signs are pointing to “YES!”

    I hope this is not T-Fey’s first step down the sad path known as “Romantic Dramedy.”

  11. Oof, is anyone else super bummed out by the movie roles Tina Fey has been getting (and Paul Rudd too, for that matter)? I can’t think of a single movie she’s been in that was actually good, probably because she’s not writing the script and it ends up being re-worked to death so that it appeals to the broadest audience possible. Liz deserves better.

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