I’m bored. Aren’t you guys bored? It can be so boring sometimes! There are people who will tell you that “only boring people get bored” which is seriously the most ridiculous garbage. Only boring people SAY THAT. Fascinating people get bored all the time because of people like the people who use that expression. But we can fix it! Together! Let’s turn our frowns upsides downs and let’s build a movie! Seriously, if you think about most of the movies being made these days, we can definitely build a movie. If anything, it’s just weird that we haven’t already done so. I’ve already taken the liberty of narrowing the genre. Because I am the Major Producer (I know the terminology and how to use it). The rest is up to you. First, we need to pick our stars.

Romantic Leading Man

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Falls head over heels in love with:

Romantic Leading Lady

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The two of them are living in:

Romantic City

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He works as a high-powered:

Romantic Job (Him)

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She owns her own:

Romantic Job (Her)

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They meet serendipitously:

Romantic Meeting

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But there is an obstacle to their love. You see:

Romantic Obstacle

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There is a really hilarious scene where:

Hilarious (Romantic) Thing That Happens

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But in the end they both realize:

Romantic Realization

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Honestly, this is going to be a pretty good movie. I would watch this movie. On an airplane or something. Or, like, drunk at 3AM on HBO2 after having missed the first 45 minutes. But I’d watch most of this movie. Totally. (Image via Shutterstock.)

Comments (59)
  1. This is like a Choose Your Own Adventure, except every choice is a winner.

    • And also there’s only one answer for the question of who killed Harlowe Thrombey. I’m still very bitter that there were multiple ways that story turned out.

      • There was a really funny ending in that one where it was like, “If you know who the killer is, turn to page 48.” And then page 48 just says, “You announce that you know who the killer is. The End.”

        • It just really bugged me because the killer could change depending on the choices you make, but all of these choices are being made after the murder was committed, meaning that the CYOA universe likes to play fast and loose with the space-time continuum.

      • The “Chimney Rock” one scared the CRAP out of me with the broken vase that would never get fixed and the witch makes you fix the vase FOREVER

    • Ghost baker Kristin Bell is LOST IN LOVE AT SEA!!!

      Gabe, this is gold. Solid gold. I’d like to invest with a 3 percent back end and the rights to European merchandising. Let’s set up a meeting on Friday.

  2. “Everyone has Diarrhea” is in last place?!?!?! SKEWWWWWWWWWWWWWEEDDDDD

  3. Come on, now, at least one of the boxing robot options has to be in there!

  4. Where do I write in a vote for Andy Serkis?

  5. Let me just say that the “post-hit a hobo with your car” sex is AMAZING.

    • i mean, have you seen the movie “crash”? not the shitty racist one, but the one about car crashes as a sexual fetish. hotttttttt/terrifying/hottttttt

  6. We need a male foil. I suggest my new best friend, The Rock… Especially if we go with ghost baker.

  7. As a microbiologist working as an architect, let me just say that it’s not quite as romantic as it seems (because it’s even MORE romantic!)

  8. What about the sassy best friend who tells our ghost baker what is what? I nominate:
    Satanic Toaster
    Dog With A Blog
    Judy Greer
    The Rock’s twin brother, who is gay

  9. The significant drop in total votes as you go down the list is pretty indicative of our generation’s short atten…this comment is taking too long. BYE

  10. “Tyler Perry’s Love Conquers Al” (Starring James Franco as Al and Tyler Perry as Mr. Love in drag)

  11. I represent Delta Burke and the Olsen Twins and my clients have been pitching this exact story for years, up and down town. You want to make it, fine, but don’t jerk us around. Talk turkey. Or you’ll hear from our army of rabid lawyers.

  12. Where does C-Tates fit into the plot? Maybe her brother who moonlights as a male stripper when he’s not helping out at the bakery?

    • And he is the only one who can see she is a ghost. Or knows she is a ghost. Either way, really.

      • So he gets off work at dawn and has to get across town from the stripjoint near the aeroport to the bakery in the cute part of town. Otherwise he can’t open the door and man the register to sell the delights she spent all night whipping up. At what point does his lifestyle interfere with his responsibilities? At what point does Tyler Perry come in and, thinking C-Tates is the baker behind these brilliant cakes, fall in love with him and decide to promote him on the local news, where TP is anchor(ess)? Which makes ghost baker mad, because she does all the haunting/baking, gets none of the credit/love.

  13. “Greenlight is also a term.”

  14. But what kind of animal is going to create serious hijinks???!!!

  15. Side comment: this is the best thread ever

    1) Very beautiful comic actress who we’re all supposed to pretend isn’t beautiful because she’s clumsy and wears glasses.
    2) Siri
    3) A Gossip Girl
    4) Vincent Gallo
    5) Skinny Jonah Hill
    6) Fat Jonah Hill

  17. I want to see the scene where the Robot from ‘Real Steel’ who is a writer with writer’s block and Kristen Emma Stone with her on-line advertising agency specializing in viral videos panic after leaving a baby in a Bostonian Starbucks in the midst of a Rage Virus outbreak SO BAD. YOU GUYS. SRSLY.

  18. simpsons did it.

  19. Well, between last week’s election and this week’s brainstorming session, I really feel like I’m one with the electorate! C’mon! Let’s hammer out the robot boxing match!

  20. Guys we really split the vote on Architect.

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