Aww, man. Bummer alert! Lark Voorhies, who played Lisa Turtle on Saved By The Bell appears to be in some real trouble here. Recently, some stories have cropped up about her possibly being diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, which is pretty treatable and everyone has something going on that they probably wish was not going on, and my point is that her being diagnosed with bi-polar disorder doesn’t seem to be that big of a deal. To me. But, in grand Hollywood fashion, Lark Voorhies has not only denied these stories, but she went on Entertainment Tonight to “defend” herself and ended up proving that a bi-polar diagnosis would literally be the least of her problems at this point. Gahhhhh! Look, let’s be very clear about something, we all hope and pray that Lark Voorhies gets whatever help it is that she needs and goes on to live a long and productive and healthy and happy life. Why not? We should all wish that for all of us. But, like, you know when you are stuck in traffic for hours and then it turns out that the reason you were stuck in traffic is because there is a horrible car accident up ahead, and not even that the accident blocked a lane or anything, but just literally that all of the cars slowed down to stare, or “rubberneck” the gruesome scene, and your first instinct is to curse out those drivers for wasting everyone’s time and for being so gross and macabre, and your second, much stronger instinct, is to STARE AT THAT ACCIDENT. It’s not that you want there to even have been an accident in the first place, you didn’t say that, you would never say that, but when the accident is right in front of you, you cannot help but look. Now please step out of the way and let the rescue workers do their job.

It helps (make this something that I cannot stop watching) that Lark Voorhies does my favorite thing that people struggling with any kind of mental health or substance abuse issues do in an attempt to avoid owning up to the fact of and dealing with their mental health and substance abuse issues: try and talk their way out of it using impossible sentence structures and words whose meaning clearly eludes them. Oh, man. Again: fingers crossed for my baby girl. But, like, “I have no worries myself, nor do I exude, exhibit or possess within my living stratus any reason why someone should worry in my behalf”? Come on. That’s the best! Jonathan Safran Foer couldn’t write a sentence like that if a thousand Jonathan Safran Foer’s were locked in the basement of the British museum and typed on a thousand typewriters for a thousand years. Good luck to all of us. Life is hard. (Thanks for the tip, Dave Holmes.)

Comments (43)
  1. We can only hope she seeks the help that eluded her poor brother Jason.

  2. She never should have taken Jessie’s caffeine pills

  3. At least this would explain her odd fashion choices, erratic feelings re: Samuel “Screech” Powers, and that one episode where she started dating Zach and then that relationship was never brought up again.

  4. did a post about some of her self-published fiction a couple weeks ago. The girl enjoys commas. A lot.

  5. Perfect time to wash the windows, Carl.

  6. That’s tough to watch. It’s like she’s constructing her sentences using manatees and idea balls.

  7. Can we also maybe talk about people in the entertainment industry comparing their work to jobs that are arguably much more important and difficult that what they do? Like saying being a C-list actor who hasn’t really been in anything memorable since a 90s TV Show is the same as someone who is training to go to war???

  8. I watched this with no sound, so my main reaction is “I like her hair.”

  9. It’s kind of Crazy* how people with mental illness are still chastised by our society. I mean, I’m not saying that’s what causes the illness, if you’re sick you’re going to be sick no matter what but this is the 90s, you’d think with all the knowledge we have about the human body we’d feel more comfortable discussing this without shame. I feel not enough people are talking about it, other than maybe Brandon Marshall.

    *pun not intended but left in cause I just realize I’m doing it too.

  10. Going to get serious for a moment, fair warning and I apologize…

    “…being diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, which is pretty treatable and everyone has something going on that they probably wish was not going on, and my point is that her being diagnosed with bi-polar disorder doesn’t seem to be that big of a deal. To me.”

    As someone who has family members who have suffered with bi-polar disorder and who has had two of those family members commit suicide, even while getting treatment, this kind of flippant attitude makes me feel pretty damn shitty. I know no harm was meant but… come on, man.

    • Sorry again. Sensitive subject for me, obviously. Carry on!

      • For real, don’t apologize! That was some pretty glib nonsense.

        • Sorry, guys. If I was being in any way flippant, it was not about bi-polar disorder, it was about someone seeking desperately to DENY their diagnosis, rather than be upfront and try to seek treatment. Although I could totally see an argument in which this, too, is destructive or at least counter-productive, which I’m sure it is. But also, if you want to destroy the entire celebrity-media complex that allows untreated mentally unstable people to sit for interviews on national television because they are still desperate for attention and no one is helping them with their very real problems, then I am right there with you. But until we burn it completely to the ground, I have no problem admitting that I occasionally enjoy the nightmare of it all for purely voyeuristic reasons because I am a human being in 2012, and that has nothing to do with you or your family or your family’s struggles. I hope everyone turns out OK!

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    • I don’t blame AwkwardPants for being sensitive about the subject, like I said, our society creates a stigma about mentally ill people but Gabe never called her an asshole. His whole post was kind of a disclaimer, calling the act of staring “macabre.”

      • I agree that Gabe didn’t necessarily mean that as an attack on her or anything of the sort. Just the wording of that one bit made me very uneasy. Of course that one blurb was not even the point of his post, but I thought a little more care could have been taken.

        Thanks for listening, folks!

    • actually, refusing to take meds for the disorder is crazy, and, therefore, a symptom of the disorder. just sayin’. besides, there’s no high in the world that you can buy that’s as good as the creative mania bipolarity induces. just like there’s no crash that’s quite as far. eventually, if you survive, you learn to accept yourself, your flaws, your chemical make-up, and the chemicals you need to take to adjust it a bit.

    • woah, don’t dis his twitter feed

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        • his tweets, i find a number of them funny, i’ll pull up some examples

          example 1:
          “Chandler Bing? Of the search engine fortune?!” #BING #FREEADVERTISING #CGI

          example 2:
          No 401k to speak of but own “mint” or “very good” of most of the Garfield Treasuries so not sweating the future too hard.

          i dunno, i think he’s p funny on occasion which is all i expect from twitter

        • Don’t follow it, then? What’s your deal, little otis?

          • I follow Gabe’s twitter feed because I refuse to believe that a person could be so funny on a blog and not kill on twitter. Don’t take it too hard imsteph, I think Gabe’s using the criticism constructively; one of his recent tweets was quite humorous.

  12. … why is it that we’re all supportive of people with bipolar disorder until they do something, well … crazy? as someone dx’d with “manic depression” in 1972, i can say that i’ve seen it all my life.

  13. This is really sad, and even though her goal of vehement public denial is not helping anyone, I feel for her and can’t bring myself to joke around about this meltdown. She looks like she’s about to start crying the whole time. I hope that she gets the help she needs.

  14. Seriously, who could give a sane sounding answer with crazy music playing in the background?

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