At the moment, America’s number one most anticipated movie of all time is the new Superman movie, Man of Steel. (Just kidding. I don’t think anyone cares about this movie very much. Or do you guys? Please let me know because I might not have any idea, which would be very surprising because generally I am VERY knowledgable about superhero movies and their popularity. Are you looking forward to this?) (No, right?) Fans across the nation have bolted themselves into their bedrooms, shivering, refusing to access anyone or anything (I realize this is taking it too far), lest their number one most anticipated movie be spoiled for them in any way. “I DON’T WANT TO SEE WHAT THE SUIT LOOKS LIKE,” you can hear, muffled, from the kitchen. “DO NOT TELL ME IF ZOD SAYS HIS FAMOUS LINE, ‘KNEEL BEFORE ZOD,’ I DON’T WANT TO KNOW YET!!!!” Everyone laughed at them (??), until now, in the days after the wonderful, perfect, beautiful Michael Shannon, who plays Zod in the film, dropped a BOMBSHELL about his famous line on VH1′s Morning Buzz. Please do not click through unless every Superman fan is out of the room. NSFSF.

“I don’t say that in the movie.”

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??!

OOOOOOOOHHHHH.

OOOOOOOOKKKAAAAAY.

Comments (24)
  1. What’s a zod?

  2. I love Michael Shannon. As someone who poops at least twice a day I am fascinated that someone can look so constipated.

  3. Maybe he just means that the way he utters the words cannot properly be described as ‘saying’. Maybe he exclaims “Kneel before Zod!” Or maybe he growls it, or snarls, or whispers, or screams, or howls, or something else, and it is an insult to his performance to imply that he does something so pedestrian as saying his lines.

  4. This seems like a good time to share my Michael Shannon story with you guys. A few months ago his band played in Chicago and I decided to go and gawk at him like a big nerd. But I ended up getting to the venue super early due to annoying CTA logistics, so I sat at the bar drinking and reading my book and realized eventually he was sitting a couple of seats down the whole time. And I kept awkwardly crossing paths with him in the venue throughout the evening and I think I weirded him out because he got in line behind me at the bar at one point but then ran away after we made eye contact in the mirror.

    • Maybe he assumed you were a bookish assassin. It’s the logical conclusion.

    • Tell me everything about him. Did he smile? Does he look as uncomfortable in real life as he does on the screens? Did you stand near him and marvel at how tall he is? Did you see him go into the bathroom at all? Because I think he has reached a state of perfect efficiency; using every nutrient and atom in the foods he eats he has thus eliminated the need for waste. But the true secret of life is that we don’t poop because we need to, we poop because it is an excellent form of anxiety relief. And that is why Michael Shannon looks like Michael Shannon.

      • He did smile, and he was very tall. He was very friendly to all of the Boardwalk Empire fans who asked for photos and was generally more normal that you might expect, while still being a little odd. I did not see him go to the bathroom so you’re probably right.

    • Is his band any good? I kind of need the answer to be both yes and no.

  5. I am sorta looking forward to this movie, if only because having Agent Van Alden who can beat someone up with, let’s say, Suriname.

  6. I want to talk about this and how it was the best:

    • Oh gosh, that close up of his face at the end of this scene with his slightly lazy eye and that slow psychotic half smile! This show keeps getting better and better. I never thought they could top Gyp Rosetti’s swinging dick, but that last shot of Van Alden might just have done it.

    • Why is Agent van Cuckoo still a free man? I mean, even the ’20s being pre-information age, you would at least expect a “Dateline: Cicero! Be on the lookout for this shady yegg!” (in a nasal radio-announcer voice) on the radio after they finish playing “I’m just wild about Harry” or whatever.

      But yeah, it was bawse.

      • Yeah, I’m a little surprised by that too. He drowned an agent, you’d think they would have passed around his photo a little. Maybe put it in the paper. I have an unhealthy love for him and Gyp though (I consider my love for Harrow to be perfectly healthy), so I’m glad they’re both still around even though neither of them should be. I’m sure Gyp’s days are numbered, but I’m hoping they keep Van Alden on to the end!

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.