It’s always nice to learn something almost slightly new-ish about the world you live in. For example, just when you thought you understood how much money syndicated Seinfeld episodes made (almost all of it), a new report has been released from The Hollywood Reporter containing the information that, actually, syndicated Seinfeld episodes simply make ALL of the money. Oooh! From the New York Post:

“Seinfeld” might be the show about nothing, but it’s also made an incredible $2.7 billion — with a “b” — since it went off the air 12 years ago, according to Time Warner, which owns the series.

That makes “Seinfeld” the most profitable 30 minutes in TV history.

It is rare that TV studios reveal the amounts made by their most successful TV series, but at an investors’ conference late last month, execs spilled the beans about just what a moneymaker the show has been over the past 12 years.

Details of the huge sums were buried in a report of the conference carried by the trade magazine The Hollywood Reporter. The main idea of the conference was for Time Warner to brag to potential investors how well the company is doing.

Wowowowowow! Doyoyoyoyoy! Though there is one remaining question on everyone’s mind: What would you do if you had all of the money Seinfeld makes? I would:

  • Buy the 2012 election for Barack Obama.
  • Fix all of the problems that anyone nice has.
  • End hunger.
  • World peace.
  • Good education for everyone.
  • No more cancer.
  • Give lots to any charity that still needs money after I’ve fixed almost all of the world’s other problems.
  • Go on vacation permanently.
  • Give everyone in my extended family 5 million dollars and everyone in my close family access to my bank account.
  • Do lots of fun stuff.
  • Eat so many nice dinners.
  • Buy nice clothing, but not, like, A LOT of it. Just a nice simple wardrobe of high quality items.
  • Never look at the Internet again, except to read Slate‘s “Dear Prudence” advice column and McSweeney’s.

What about you????? #FRIDAY!

Comments (30)
  1. Bruno Mars and Travie McCoy must be SO JEALOUS right now!

  2. Apparently, the government should just start a quality television network to get out of the deficit.

  3. I would rent expensive old cars for no reason and shoot boring webisodes in them!

  4. I would probably try to swim in a giant room full of coins like Uncle Scrooge. After I die in the attempt, I am sure my parents would either be very reasonable with the money or buy all the yurts and cigars and needlepoint patterns that ever were.

    OR I would travel the world, taking pictures of it’s most adorable animals. For posterity. I’m a giver like that.

    And of course I would join Tilda Swinton in all her international art thievery.

  5. I would buy the moon!

  6. I would pay to stop Seinfeld and Everybody Loves Raymond reruns for a while. Sorry guys, but after 20 years I need a break from those two shows…

  7. KATE YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE ACCESS TO KELLY’S BANK ACCOUNT WE SHOULD REALLY HANG OUT SOME TIME!

  8. Two chicks at the same time.

  9. I would make videos aimed at extorting information from people by offering to donate money to their charity of choice only if they meet my demands.

    • My first video would say:

      Gabe Delahaye is the least transparent blogger in the history of the internet. We know very little about his opinions of the new season of The Walking Dead. Many, many people have questions. Now, I have a deal for Gabe. If Gabe Delahaye opens up and produces recaps of the Walking Dead, I will give FIVE MILLION DOLLARS to the charity of HIS CHOICE. One caveat, the first recap must be published by November 5th at 5:00 pm. If you comply, Mr. Delahaye, not only will I be happy, but the American people will be happy, and your charity will be very, very happy.

  10. I’d put it in the bank, its always good to have money put away in case of an emergency.

  11. I would obviously buy the Downton Abbey estate ( Highclere Castle) and live there wearing beautiful clothes, and having intrigues all the time.

  12. Gabe, didn’t you already bring this to our attention on June 7th, 2010 when the article came out, with a much better title?

  13. 2010 Seinfeld is worth 75% of 2012 Lucasfilm.

  14. I would adopt all of the puppies and put them in tiny hats so that every day would be a puppy party.

  15. I’d buy a boat for a big big storm to smash into a pile of boats, then do it again, forever. Anyone can buy an captain a boat!

  16. Buy half of Star Wars. The good half.

  17. What’s the deal with Seinfeld syndication? If Seinfeld reruns are the most profitable shows on TV, why not build the entire TV schedule out of Seinfeld reruns?

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