It has been months since Ryan Gosling saved someone from being hit by a car, or broke up a fight on the street, or did Michele Williams’ dishes, and you have to wonder: WHERE IS THIS GUY? (Not really, you can reasonably assume that he’s busy working on movies mostly, and that he spends 100% of his off-time at Disneyland with Eva Mendes, but it has been a bit of time since we’ve heard a story of him doing something “heroic,” which is enough, and certainly enough for this parenthetical.) Well thankfully we have an update today, from The Washington Post:

Gosling apparently showed up on Saturday at an event called the Spooky Skedaddle 5K, a fundraiser for the Texas School for the Deaf Foundation’s Language for All Campaign. Fassbender and Rooney Mara, Gosling’s co-stars in the Terrence Malick film that is currently shooting in Austin, were there as well, primarily to shoot some footage for said film.

[The Foundation’s executive director] Anne Adams confirmed that Gosling did not run in the 5K. However, the event managed to raise around $20,000 with a bit of assistance from the “Drive” star.

“Ryan helped us out by paying $50 for a $1 glow in the dark cotton candy from a booth staffed by deaf children,” she wrote. “It was very sweet.”

Hahahah. Awwww. So the story is really that he went to a charity event that he had to go to for work — work that had nothing to do with the charity event — and then donated $49? Hahahaaaa. WE’LL TAKE IT! He’s beautiful, his heart was in the right place, we love him, we’ll still take it and kiss him right on the face. You’re our hero, Ryan Gosling! GIVE US A KISS!

Comments (35)
  1. I’m glad to hear that even when it glows in the dark, cotton candy is still sweet.

  2. So disappointed that this is the only post with the Spooky Skedaddle tag :(

  3. Glow in the dark cotton candy? There is no WAY it can be a good idea to eat that. But I want to anyway.

  4. I bought a $10 raffle ticket today to help youth soccer. Where’s my post???!?

  5. It looks like Fassbender is smoking at a fun run.

  6. I’d def kiss him on the face, but that probably wouldn’t be the first place.

  7. I live in Austin Texas and have noticed that the new way to pick up women is to say, “Hey girl, did you know Ryan Gosling will be downtown at (bank place) at (blank time?). Like shooting fish in a barrel. Oh and does this rag smell like chloroform?

  8. I’ll bet Michael Fassbender and Rooney Mara both donated more than $49, but in ways that could not produce sentences comparable to “Ryan helped us out by paying $50 for a $1 glow in the dark cotton candy from a booth staffed by deaf children.”

  9. Ryan Gosling seems like he would be really fun to have a beer with. If there is ever a Rock of Friendship with Ryan Gosling, I would so be a contestant. And I would be there to make friends! Win-win!

    • What about a Rock of Friendship with The Rock?

      • Oh hell yes.

      • Real talk: How great would it be to be friends with The Rock? Not only would it be hilarious and great, but moving day would be FUN!
        “Hey, The Rock, can you help me with this couch?”
        “Why yes!” And then he lifts it with like half of his hand.

        • We could hustle so many people out of money with arm wrestling contests! And he could do his The Rock Obama impression when we’re drinking with him on his porch!

          Our new mission: Become best friends with The Rock.

          • I want to become best friends with The Rock and force him to watch Southland Tales with me once a week.

          • I just watched that last week! I also want him to watch that movie where he breaks shit with a 2×4. Walking Tall? And also Journey 2: Mysterious Island. And also Nic Cage movies.

            I just really want to be friends with The Rock. He seems fun… like actually fun.

            You know what? We should invite him to our feminist moon colony. Not just because he seems fun and can lift stuff easily (which really won’t be an issue bc of gravity), but also because he’s pretty handsome.

          • Every feminist moon colony needs a manservant.

    • I agree. I think that Fassbender would be too intense. It would be like having a beer with a really hot Charles Bukowski.

      • Michael Fassbender is kind of like a tiger in that yes, very pretty to look at, but I wouldn’t want to hang out, you know?

      • He seems very actor-y in interviews, which has waned me from my crush. I’d much rather be buddies with Mark Ruffalo or George Clooney or Matt Damon and we can all drink beers and hang out with our dogs and brainstorm fun ways to stop fracking and coal transit down the Columbia. I know this sounds like a strange dream, but any attention to stop this garbage is good attention.

        I did have a dream once where I was BFF with Michelle Obama and we went dress shopping and ate crepes.

        • Many (many) years ago I had a dream I was BFF with Punky Brewster. We were hanging out and putting puffy paint designs on our jeans. I was so sad when I woke up and realized it didn’t actually happen and I really wanted those awesome jeans.

        • I have dreams about being friends with Michelle Obama all the time. *sighs with a long stare out a rainy window*

  10. I just don’t understand why Ryan Gosling hasn’t come to the fun run in my vagina yet.

  11. Holy cow. What a week it’s been! I’ve heard ‘hurricane narcissism” and “fun run in my vagina” just on this blog alone.

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