Gabe has previously reported numerous accounts of this dangerous sex monster‘s attempts at destroying the hearts and vaginas of the world’s female population, but his latest ploy has taken his scheme to an entirely new level of manipulative emotional destruction. As you know, an attractive man holding a newborn baby sets off every hormonal alarm in the female body, throwing it quickly into Uterine-Cardioid Sex Madness. (A heightened level of what the female body goes through after seeing an attractive man holding a small dog.) This image of Benedict Cumberbatch holding his friend Paul McGuigan’s baby, which was later posted it to Paul McGuigan’s Twitter account (an attempt from Cumberbatch to shirk responsibility, one could reasonably guess), can be expected to have this effect on sighted women across the globe. Men, shield your eyes quickly — you are not fully immune. Women, our time has come. As I write this, I am floating into heaven, quickly losing the ability to reach my keyboard. It is a bittersweet end for all of–(Via Celebitchy.)

Comments (41)
  1. From the way he’s holding onto it, that baby doesn’t appear to be held so much as recently caught.

  2. What a cute Cumberbatch kid! Somewhere, Xavier Roberts weeps.

  3. I was going to fetch the smelling salts and fainting couches, but I died. Sorry ladies and gents. I am too dead to be of assistance this time.

  4. Alien holding a baby, how charming.

  5. I think the fact that he’s friends with the man who brought us Lucky Number Slevin should help the men and ladies gird their loins. #ripjoshhartnett

  6. Men experience a similar state of Sex Madness when women are photographed doing certain things. Those things include, but are not limited to: wearing sexy clothes, wearing no clothes, wearing soiled sweatpants, waiting for a bus, posing for a Virginia Slims ad, taking out the trash, putting a new bag in the kitchen trash can, using a computer, talking on a phone, texting on a phone, swiping a Metrocard, parking a car, stealing a car, eating, and sitting.

    Really pretty much anything besides holding a baby.

  7. This cured me of Cumberbatchitis actually. I’m an awful monster, but I am just not into babies.

  8. i just don’t see the appeal. if only there was someone out their who could help guide me in the ways of European men.

  9. I like babies alright, but I’m more into that little Superman curl.

  10. It’s ok, ladies and gents. I have the antidote.

  11. Look at how he’s holding that newborns’s head! He clearly knows how important it is to hold a newborn’s head! If somebody posts a picture of him SMELLING that newborn’s head, I’m getting me tubal ligation reversed.

  12. Well, Monsters, it’s been a good run, but I don’t think smelling salts are going to revive me this time. I’ve had a good life, and short as it was, I can’t imagine it ending on any better note. See you all in Monster Heaven.

    • Seriously, Summer, we are dead, but at least we are dead together. RIP Videogum ladeez. It’s been a good run of videos of children crying over horror movies and surprisingly serious discussions about Daniel Tosh.

  13. While we’re talking about cute men doing cute things, here is some Ryan Gosling news for you:
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/31/ryan-gosling-texas-school-for-deaf-austin_n_2049086.html

    Apparently Fassy showed up as well.

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