All joking aside, here is to hoping that everyone affected by Hurricane Sandy on the East Coast makes it through this as safely and painlessly as possible, and that the world is up and running and back to normal as soon as possible. I’m not sure how many more days of this we can even take! Some of us just want to get back to talking about which newscaster accidentally said “penis” instead of “Syria” and laughing at all of the funny things that Courtney Stodden does. (Incidentally, for those of you who were concerned that Sandy might affect Courtney Stodden, her Twitter-based Halloween costume contest, or whatever is even going on, seems to be functioning as normal and also I learned today that she refers to her fans as “Stoddenistas” which is obliviously close to Sandanistas which for some reason is funny to me, I guess because of how Courtney Stodden is an idiot.) Kelly told me that her power just flickered and I know that there’s a bunch of broken cranes out there, so please, bundle up and stay away from your windows and have a drink and enjoy the TV while you still can. This too shall pass. I HOPE! XOXOOXOXOX.

Comments (22)
  1. What a cutie patootie. For real! Although, the guy on the Today Show said that you really should not use candles unless you absolutely have to because of fire hazards! But, good job otherwise, tiny human child. You’re pretty adorable.

  2. Sandanistas like the Nicaraguan revolutionaries? Or like people who are really into Hurricane Sandy?

    • people who want more sand

      • We’ll attack the Sandanistas before we recognize climate change and its role in the horrifying, damaging weather… or even pretend to take actions to stop the nightmares that … ugh. I can’t even finish this.

        Terrible environmental policies that were enacted by Ronald Reagan had so much to do with today’s nightmare that it makes my blood boil.

  3. I still have no idea who would be a fan of Courtney Stodden unironically, do these people wish they also could have sex with a 51 year old guy at 16? I’m more worried about them than I am about myself no matter what the hurricane does

  4. Hurricanes pass, but stupid is forever.

    • Ugh, I feel bad for calling a child (by which I mean Courtney Stodden) stupid. I forget that just because she insists on being a public figure whose celebrity is built on a horrible, irrevocable life decision, doesn’t mean she isn’t a human teenager. On the other hand, I already called her stupid and we can’t edit comments, so I guess I might as well own it.

  5. Wait, little girl, what am I supposed to do with incense in a hurricane? You didn’t tell me! How will I stay safe???

  6. She forgot about going online and purchasing a vintage battery powered light adapter for the original Gameboy, cause that shit ain’t backlit. I TOLD U MOM, THE LIGHT IS ON THIS LATE CAUSE IM DOING IMPORTANT HOMEWORK STUFF!!!!!!!!

  7. Stoddenista was okay, but I’m more of a fan of the earlier stuff.


    Let’s all keep each other company in the storm!

  9. What’s your favorite being trapped in a storm episode?
    Mine’s Full House.

  10. Be safe, guys. Also, can we get a Park Slope Edible Arrangements update?

  11. OMG GUYS, it’s 9:45 pm and it looks like things are really deteriorating in NYC and NJ and elsewhere, and PLEASE, PLEASE BE SAFE.

  12. when i got home i exclaimed that the house smelled really good. my mom told me she was just boiling some beans. i was super impressed by the beans. i was like “damn beans i didnt know you had it in you”

  13. If you don’t know or don’t trust your water, boil it for at least a minute. We had an ecoli scare in Portland this summer and it was recommended to full boil for 2 minutes, but this site says 1+ minute. Odds are if you are reading this, you’re probably okay with tap water but here is info I found. Please be safe. And remember pets need boiled water, as do toothbrushes and the like.

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