I hope you all got a chance to carve pumpkins and let them rot and throw them away before duct-taping your doors and eyelids shut and hiding in your toilets in preparation for the storm! There would be few things worse right now than to be stuck in an apartment with a rotting pumpkin, and I have to imagine you can’t throw them away now or else they’ll fly out of the garbage can and into someone’s car or home, right? Don’t throw them away, keep them inside & put them in the oven! Unless you somehow also constructed a playable Tetris game out of your pumpkin — in that case keep it out of the oven and play with it with your loved ones, hugging them every so often and telling them how much you love and appreciate them and how nice it was to have them in your life. (Via TheDailyWhat.)

Comments (15)
  1. That is cool until the pumpkin inevitably sets on fire, burning a poor trick or treater

  2. VERY COOL and all, but is it extremely hard to operate or did they only record horrible Tetris players? Some of those moves were quite hard to watch.

    Also, Pumpktris…that is the worst name.

  3. If I didn’t know any better I’d say they were operating a pumpkin massage parlor. #gross #boo

  4. I guess if you have to die in a terrible monster storm that will probably give rise to some sort of Godzilla creature who has been sleeping peacefully for the last thousand years and will only be roused from slumber by the vicious churning of the ocean and then will probably go ravaging through the entire Northeast in a ravenous rage and eat every single person and then poop their skeletons somewhere in Maine, then you may as well go out playing Tetris on a pumpkin while standing on your porch in the rain.

  5. hold onto your pumpkins east coasters! when the water gets shut off, they make for great disposable toilets!

  6. Oh, I have to go buy candy. Also… I have a moral dilemma. I don’t want to buy the candy that is picked by kids and not free-trade. However, I also want to not spend $7 on a bag of dark chocolate free-trade, not-picked-by-kids candy. Any ideas? So far I’m thinking:
    – Nikes
    – iPhones
    – Kathy Lee’s sportswear line from the 1990s
    – Triangle shirtwaist dresses

    • Why are you worried about kids picking candy? That sounds like the best job a kid could have. I bet those kids don’t even want to take bathroom or lunch breaks, because they’re having so much fun picking candy.

    • Go with the Triangle shirtwaist stuff. Halloween deserves the steepest body count. Consider stitching the name of a different burnt-to-a-cinder poor immigrant girl onto each label and tell trick-or-treaters that at night the dresses will be worn by their revenant ghosts who come to kill children living pleasant lives with their own bedrooms in cute houses. Parents will have to approve because it’s educational. Unless they’re Republican, but I don’t think you have those in Portland.

  7. Wake me when Cameron invents the technology for Pumpkin Avatar 3D.

  8. hold up, they have a tetris pumpkin AND pinwheel sandwiches?? way to bury the lede, kelly!

  9. That song never seemed to end on that video!

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