It has long been known that Hollywood was a Bad Idea Factory. You know it, I know it, your mom knows it, Billy Bush knows it. Hell, Billy Bush is the foreman! From the multi-million dollar budgeted, feature-length movies about talking chihuahuas to the TV shows about men who dress up as women drag queens because they live in an alternate universe where a) only women can get jobs because this is science fiction and b) magically no one notices they are quite clearly men like so clearly, the list is extensive and exhausting and growing by the day. But today we may just have encountered Hollywood’s dumbest idea of all time. Is it making a narrative story out of a board game about financial transactions, you might ask? No, compared to this, that is novel and interesting. Certainly it can’t be dumber than developing an entire television series out of car insurance commercial cavemen, you say. The response to which is, yes. While the short lived ABC sitcom featuring Geico’s Cavemen has reigned for the past five years as Hollywood’s dumbest idea, it should be noted that it was the Geico aspect of things that made it completely impossible, because the basic concept of cavemen living in modern times, while stupid, is something you could easily imagine the desperate and intellectually bankrupt networks attempting on any given season, and had already proven a huge success with the hit film Encino Man starring Brendan Fraser as Mr. Encino. Also Nick Kroll was on that show and he is great. Which brings us to today’s idea, the new reigning champion, Hollywoods Official Stupidest Idea Ever. From Deadline:

As Bravo is working on expanding its core unscripted lineup to include scripted programming, the cable network has teamed with the producer of one of its top reality franchises for a scripted drama. Bravo has put in development a period spec script by Andrew Hoegl, executive producer/showrunner of Bravo’s hit Flipping Out and its spinoff Interior Therapy. The untitled workplace drama is set in New York at the height of the Cola Wars in the 1980s, in which soda giants Coca Cola and Pepsi went after each other in their ad campaigns.

Coke vs. Pepsi: The Show. Oh, not only that, but Coke vs. Pepsi: The Show, Thursday nights on fucking BRAVO. No offense to Bravo, but a little bit of offense to Bravo. That network is very good at Top Chef and the Real Housewives of Couples Therapy Island but that does not translate well to compelling narrative television. That being said, if you were going to pitch Bravo’s version of Mad Men, which is clearly what this wants to be, it would def be set in the ’80s, although I would think it would be more about diet pills, or maybe the Tab cola wars. Kathy Griffin IS Donna Drapo. Oh well. Maybe this will be like The Social Network! A movie about Facebook sounded terrible, too, and look how that turned out. (SPOILER ALERT: great.) Just kidding. Coke vs. Pepsi: The Show is not going to be like The Social Network. At best we’ve got another Bruno The Kid on our hands.

Comments (24)
  1. Know what would be a good show? A drama about the coke wars in the 80s.

  2. Billy Joel can’t take it anymore.

  3. I feel like Hollywood has come up with dumber ideas in the past…

  4. Why will play Crystal Pepsi?

  5. This kind of reminds me of my 7th grade science project, which was a blind taste test of different colas (Coke, Pepsi and generic) to see if people could tell the difference. I don’t remember the results, but I do remember being extremely pleased with myself for naming the project “Always Coca-Cola?”

  6. I have not been making my jeans in that shit town for two years, Gabe.

  7. I have to jump down here before reading this post to say sadly, whatever we are talking about is probably not Hollywood’s dumbest idea.

  8. Van Halen’s ‘Right Now’ makes a great theme song.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPvyq_KmXhc

  9. Here you go, Bravo. Where’s my check?

  10. This will only be Hollywood’s dumbest idea until someone greenlights a miniseries about the Pop Tarts/Toaster Strudel turf war.

    • Pop Tarts would curb-stomp those bitches.

      • Toaster Strudels are definitely the better product in terms of quality, and yet somehow Pop Tarts always come out on top. I would watch a one-episode documentary style show about why inferior products often outlast the superior version (Blu Ray winning out over HD DVD, for example). But it’s all about market structure and I’m an econ nerd so feel free to ignore me, Hollywood.

        • What sort of quality are we talking about? If by quality you mean healthier, more like actual bread and fruit, then sure, you’re right. But if by quality you mean joyously disgusting, wonderful snacks full of made-up flavors that taste nothing like the flavor identified on the box which I have no understanding of how they could possibly be a breakfast food but dammit when I stop for gas on a long drive, late at night, and maybe happen to be stoned, there is little I want more than maybe Combos or Junior Mints, then no, you’re wrong.

          • I actually have no idea which is healthier. By quality I mean that one clearly resembles recognizable food with identifiable ingredients while the other is like a sweetened chunk of neon deliciousness. Maybe Pop Tarts’ edge is that they can be eaten untoasted at a gas stop late at night while stoned, whereas you definitely need a toaster for the Strudels. I feel like the on-the-go and too-stoned-to-use-a-toaster demographics probably represent a pretty high percentage of Pop Tarts’ consumer base.

          • #realtalk #seriousdiscussions

    • I don’t think my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, would be too pleased to hear about this.

  11. Tastes Great vs. Less Filling: The Hip-Hopera

  12. Honestly, you could chalk the entire existence of Bravo up to “Hollywood’s dumbest idea.” I never thought I would say this, but the E! Network looks like it has actual purpose compared to Bravo.

  13. In 10 years there will be a Google Project Glass headgear fictionalized tv drama about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s time in office.
    In 20 years there will be an iBalls fictionalized tv drama about TMZ.
    In 30 years there will be a Thought™ show fictionalized drama about Fox News.

    Just kidding.

  14. Surely coke and pepsi will sue because they are both people who are still alive?

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