Earlier this week, Indiana Senate candidate Richard Mourdock gave a speech in which he announced that he had finally come to the conclusion that even when a child is conceived by rape, that precious life is still a gift from God. This has proven to be kind of a problem for him! (It has also proven to be a minor problem for Mitt Romney, who has appeared in campaign ads endorsing Mourdock.) But don’t even sweat it, guys! The world’s leading thinker of all thoughts, Rick Santorum, is here to rest Mourdock’s case for him:

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Where to even begin?!?!?!? How about at the beginning?!?!?! OK, well, first of all, no, it is not twisting Mourdock’s words out of all possible reason to say that you can infer from what he said that at the very least God rapes women. No, he didn’t say that rape was a gift from God, but if God wills a pregnancy by rape, then God is also the one being like “Yo, you should totallllyy rape her, man!” Disgusting. Also: this is not GOTCHA MEDIA! LOL! No one is harping on some casual slip of the tongue or decontextualizing his statement beyond all recognition. (An example of Gotcha Media would be “You didn’t build that,” for example.) What he said was almost TOO clear. Oh man, but then when we get to the question about what Rick Santorum would do if one of his daughters was raped? First of all: VERY GOOD QUESTION. (Not a good question.) That actually is Gotcha Journalism. Come on, man. You shouldn’t make people imagine their daughters being raped while they are on television. That’s kinda rude. Then again, this is Rick Santorum, and he stinks, so whatever. But his answer? Ahhhhhhhhh! “Naturally I would support my daughter and love her rape baby with all my heart.” Good God, boys! What is your beef on this one? What are you guys fighting against? Besides basic human decency? Also, here is an honest to goodness question: why does every bizarro Republican candidate under the nightmare sun feel the need to make his/her thoughts over-abundantly clear on this issue? You could just as well feel that way and NOT say anything. Has anyone even tried that yet? (Via GotchaMedia.)

Comments (51)
  1. The lack of basic human empathy is violently disgusting. It’s all this absurd conceptual, imaginative situation to them. They treat it with all the realism that high school freshman treat…and you know what, I ran out of steam of a humorous comparism. Rape is not real to them at all.The fact that it actually happens to women is not real to them. Those women are not real. It is a thought game they play from the safety they have lived their whole lives in.

    Can I hope they get jumped walking home some night and get beat, and at the end of the beating, the person whispers in their ear “Remember, you could be a woman, you could fear this all the time, you could fear even worse things”, without it making me a terrible person?

  2. Cool bracelet, Rick. Just shorten it to F.A.M. though, buddy. I’d be totally with you on that.

  3. unlike all these republicans, i’m not superclose bros with god. but it seems to me that if god is so into keeping unborn babies alive at all costs, he would make them abortion-resistant. instead of counting on rick santroum to spread the word on his own.

  4. Can you all just STFU. Seriously, stop trying to pull hairs. This is starting to get idiotic.

    Also, when 88% and 83% of the country agree on something, those are big numbers! This isn’t a divided issue, this is a “we all kind of agree for once” issue. You, as a representative of the population, should be listening to that. And, y’know, representing the opinions of the people instead of pushing your own GD agenda.

    Talking about rape so much is effing depressing and terrifying. To a point where I wonder if there will ever be a day when every college bathroom DOESN’T have signs saying “1 in 6 women will be raped” or “90% of rape victims know their attacker.” Do you know how much it sucks to be a woman and basically just like “I wonder when I’ll get raped because according to society that is VERY LIKELY to happen to me?”

    can videogum at least stop talking about rape?

    • Only if God WANTS Videogum to stop talking about rape.

    • I don’t think that not talking about rape would be a good solution, though. I mean, I get that for the most part it is a lighthearted funny place with posts about trampoline accidents, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t discuss what garbage is going on IRL that has very real repercussions for us. And at least here I am fairly confident that no one will be all like “YOU KNOW, RICHARD MURDOCK IS RIGHT” and we can shout our angst into the ether, like a family.

  5. Okay, so there are many problems with this line of thinking, no derr, but here is the part that really gets me:

    They are essentially saying that God enables rape to make rape babies, and I actually don’t fault them for that. For those of us who don’t believe in any god (like 80% of us here), it’s too easy to see God as a construct of man. HOWEVER, if you DO believe in God, then it’s really the other way around, and you think that a god’s gonna do what a god’s gonna do, and whether you agree with it or not doesn’t even factor in.

    BUT.

    Thinking that God is endorsing rape babies doesn’t mean you don’t believe in him, but MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T BE LISTENING TO WHAT HE HAS TO SAY. God doesn’t want gay people to get married. God DOES want women to be raped. Maybe we should find some better way to spend Sunday mornings than encouraging this behavior!

    • trying to reason with a system that doesn’t believe in the value of reason (it’s faith over reason, and that is a virtue to the religious; faith is inextricably linked to morality) doesn’t work.

      these people are vehemently pro life not because they don’t understand your reasoning, or because they’re too religious. they are pro life because – of all the myriad complicated issues being discussed in this election – killing babies is the only thing they can wrap their minds around.

    • So, I didn’t think I’d ever weigh in on any of these shenanigans, but take my tiny musings for what they are. Some context: I’m a feminist apolitical Christian currently in grad school beginning a study on perceptions of rape (basically, what matters in a situation for people to call it a rape?). My thoughts are entirely my own, and I am not claiming to be an expert on anything at all ever.

      I just want to make a distinction for both facetaco and bananab0at: the God that I believe in doesn’t have one thing to say about gay people getting married, except that his followers should love people and shouldn’t judge them for anything (especially not something like homosexuality). The God I follow is completely heartbroken when a woman (or man) is raped. That God is devastated when that woman has to make the impossible choice of letting a child conceived out of rape be born (having an everlasting reminder of that horrible event) or choosing to end that pregnancy and dealing with the emotions resulting from that, as well as the rape. That God DOESN’T TELL US WHAT TO DO in the Bible. It sucks. What sucks even more is people, especially men, especially certain misguided politicians who are so busy trying to suck up to the populace and their voters and appease everyone, seem to think that they have interpreted God’s unknown, unfathomable heart and mind. And then saying what they think in their very public, very stupid ways. For what it’s worth, I apologize for these men on behalf of other Christians. I also very respectfully and very strongly disagree with them on many points and would basically kindly ask them to stop talking for God. I don’t think he likes it very much. And, though I don’t know, I don’t think he would agree with them.

      Already tl;dr, but side note: there is a significant movement of Christians who realize that the church’s teachings on homosexuality have been woefully misguided and completely wrong. Those Christians are working, perhaps not quickly enough and perhaps not visibly enough, to start to correct the wrong and hopefully bring some healing. I want to be clear: we (being the Christians in this group) don’t believe homosexuality is wrong. We believe that every instance of love on earth is a beautiful fragment of the immensity of love that God has for us and should be embraced and celebrated.

      • obviously religion can be a personal thing, and i respect your beliefs. i wasn’t referring to all religious people (generalizing is terrible, my bad). i’m talking about the subset of religious people who feel a moral imperative to assert their will and their rules on everyone else. just like any self-righteous, close minded, singularly motivated group, that subset of religious people is dangerous because their inflexibility stems the tide of progress in society.

        one of the ways in which these groups reinforce their own power and cohesion is by sidelining reason. they are ideological because that’s what sustains them. and, so, if you’re religious and close minded and insular in the specific way that some of these communities are, then most likely you’re too focused on the issue that is directly tied to religion (right to life) to try to understand some other very important, very pressing, very dire election issues.

        • Thanks, banana! I appreciate your thoughts a lot and think we’re in sincere agreement. Sometimes I just feel the need to speak up because these jerks shout stupidity so loudly, they drown out those of us that find their opinions deplorable. I hate that they become “representatives” for a group that would gladly disown them if given the chance.

  6. If you imagine an Obama-Biden logo fading in after every piece of media produced by Ann Coulter, Donald Trump, Santorum, Murdock, Lucifer, etc. it almost makes everything better. Then it doesn’t. So scared for when Romney wins and closes Brooklyn forever :( .

  7. Rick Santorum will be first against the wall when the Feminist Moonbase Revolution comes.

  8. Santorum’s God sounds like a real dick.

  9. They are also leaving out the fact that men do get raped too. No baby comes of it, obviously, but they make it sound as if rape just happens and we have to deal with it. No biggie, I mean bad things happen, right?

    If rape was a real threat to them, then I think they’d feel very differently about this topic. It’s all fine and nice to say, hey well the baby didn’t have a say but these are the same guys who will deny that baby health care when he/she’s 18 because that would be socialism which is what their fictitious Jesus practiced. They make me so fucking angry.

    • Actually, God is apparently very much against man rape, because no babies.

      If God approved, men could get pregnant, and we know that can’t happen, so therefore he clearly does not approve.

      See? It is really simple to understand if only you let go of all rational thought processes.

  10. I’ll just come out and ask. Are they talking about rape babies or rape rape babies?

  11. i bet santorum has a weird dick

  12. This is exactly why we need Halloween TV specials.

  13. Santorum’s already weighed in on this and helped contribute to this useful chart:

  14. I know many women who consider getting their menstural cycles every month to be a gift from God, but you don’t see me telling CNN about it.

  15. 2012. Still going ahead with this thing. Here we are. United States of America. Still doing it. 2012. Wow.

  16. A proper government should operate based on REAL things. In this instance, the only real thing they’re talking about is rape. None of these far right candidates can imagine how it would feel to have to carry a baby for 9 months…. that’s about 275 DAYS…. for a baby they didn’t want in the first place, that resulted from a life-crushing experience. If the victim is always forced to grow the baby and some of those women choose to raise the child, a lot of those children are set up to have less-than-ideal lives anyway. (Not all, but some.)

    You can’t just end with, “Well, this is what God wanted,” and everyone says, “Yep! That’s right! We know for certain that this is exactly what ‘God’ decided thousands of years ago; ‘Raped women must allow that zygote I created grow inside of them until it comes out a new life! I intend to have MILLIONS of women go through this deplorable experience so that some of them will get pregnant and have wonderful children that will love their lives and their mothers and fathers so much! Also, let’s make sure that’s a law. –God 5:17.’” NO! NO! NO! NO! I will never understand how these “intelligent” people can allow their minds to be driven so adamantly by something that is so imaginary.

    • And if a woman has to take maternity leave, are they for that too? Sometimes, a-holes fire or demote women who need maternity leave, are confined to bedrest, or are ordered by their physician to keep lighten their workload (depending on the rigors of the job). Because that’s another thing besides health issues and morning sickness that pretty much all pregnant women have to deal with.

      I’m also pretty sure that God wanted me to be a benevolent billionaire. It’s in the Bible somewhere near the fish and the loaves bit but past the healing lepers story. Will conservatives enact a law allowing God’s will be done?

  17. “Once more, we have lost the public opinion on all other issues. Time to bring up abortion some more.” – The GOP

  18. Also, is it just me, or doesn’t this whole topic—with all of these candidates’ answers being very faith-based—break the whole, “separation of church and state” rule?

  19. So rape is God’s will, but homosexuality is an abomination. Good looking out, God.

  20. Whatever happened to the separation of church and state?

    Guess what? Not everyone is a Christian fundamentalist.

    Why is there more spending and successful collaboration concerning erectile disfunction pills than with breast/ovarian/cervical cancer research and treatment?
    Why does the US have a motherhood mortality rate higher than all western nations and tied with Cuba, which still has 1950s style cars in the street and an economic embargo?
    Why is there a hullaboo when a woman wants birth control pills, not only for contraceptive purposes but to treat a medical condition such as endometriosis or PCOS?

    Why does any form of pregnancy seem to these nutjobs more gift than punishment. Why would people want to adopt American kids when Indian surrogates and Russian/Malwaian babies cost a fraction of the cost? Don’t tell women to carry and put up their children conceived of rape for adoption when there are countless numbers of American children seeking adoption and/or foster care that are stuck in group homes.

    Why does conservative argument seem to always look like this:

    Rant over.

  21. Here’s the thing. I have no respect for people who want to legislate against allowing abortions, but I almost have more respect for the people who make no exceptions for rape or incest. If you truly believe that a human life begins at conception, then abortion is murder, regardless of the circumstances. Murder is murder is murder. No exceptions. But that belief brings up soooo many other problems. Like, what happens if there’s a miscarriage? Does the mother have to go to trial and prove there was no malicious intent? Does the mother get charged with manslaughter? The whole thing is so crazy to me.

    • The craziest laws are the ones that would basically criminalize menstruation. Something about unused eggs being people. “How can an egg be considered a fully-functioning human being? They eat my unhatched babies, but PETA doesn’t call that murder,” said the roosting hen.

    • And yet, if science somehow managed to create a prosthetic uterus and men could be legally required to carry a pregnancy they caused to term if their partner was unwilling or unable to, it would be rightly decried as immoral and unconstitutional to force a human to host a parasite for 9 months against his will.

  22. i wish i hadn’t watched that video. that was just a huge plate of sad, stupid shit i just ingested.

  23. The girl in that video sure is pretty.

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