You can’t always believe everything you read on the Internet, especially when the news is coming from an often incorrect source of entertainment gossip. Likewise, you can’t always believe everything an actor says while he is negotiating his contract for a television series in which he plays an integral role. Things change. Deals are made. The world continues to turn. With that said, though, I have some very bad news for the ladies out there: COUSIN MATTHEW IS LEAVING DOWNTON ABBEY AND HE’S NEVER EVER GOING TO COME BACK!!! From The Daily Mail:

One of Downton Abbey’s main characters could soon quit the show in order to concentrate on trying to forge a career on Broadway.

Actor Dan Stevens, 29, who plays Matthew Crawley, heir to the Downton estate, has reportedly refused to sign up for a fourth series next year.

Later this month Mr Stevens will appear in Broadway play The Heiress.

He said: ‘New York for me is going to be one big adventure. I will be taking the whole family out and we will be there for six months.‘I don’t know if I will be returning to Downton.’

As a Downton Abbey fan I have to admit that the most alarming piece of this blurb — and this is true for any blurb containing a similar piece of information — is the fact that DAN STEVENS IS 29?! That is at least 5 years younger than I would’ve guessed!! Slow down, everyone! YOU’RE MAKING ME WORRIED ABOUT MY DRIVE! But I don’t want to distract too much from the pressing question this blurb raises: Who should replace Cousin Matthew in what I can only imagine will be a direct Bewitched‘s Darrin-type scenario? My first choice is, without question, Vincent Gallo — but surely there must be others who could fit the role! Macaulay Culkin? Benedict Cumberbatch? Bart Simpson? RYAN GOSLING? (Tilda Swinton, for real?) Who should it be?!

Comments (29)
  1. I have a great idea that’s sure to boos ratings:

  2. “I have to go now. My planet needs me.” -Matthew Crawley

  3. The choice is clear: Android Fassbender

  4. This cannot be a surprise to anyone.

  5. He ain’t going nowhere. Sounds like the Brits are finally learning Hollywood actors’ ploys for salary increases. “Fourth season? Don’t count on it. Oh, good heavens, a lorry full of Euros, how delightful. Well, back at it, lads!”

  6. Goddammit I want to watch the third season now. NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW.

  7. When you’re a Crawley and Mary is making you homely you can always go.. Downton.
    When you got worries, all Lady Grantham’s fury doesn’t help, I know – Downton.

  8. There’s nothing that depresses me more than comparing my achievements (or lack thereof) to the achievements of other people my age, even though I know that’s a stupid thing to do because we are all different and blah blah blah.

    • Someone I went to high school with (same grade, same classes) just gave a talk at my school, so yeah. Pretty depressing.

      • You guys, just wait until a guy your age is the President. :(

        • Yeah…ouch!! And I’ve got a world-famous artist in my high school class. He made it big not long after high school. Funny thing is, his art looks like schoolboy notebook doodles to me. *cough*georgecondo*cough*

          Oh, and if Matthew goes…how about Eddie Redmayne?

  9. I’m guessing it’s too late to just kill him off quietly? If the writers had had more notice, they could have written in a very dramatic cancer storyline. They were not above sudden convenient flu death.

  10. BUT THOSE EYES!!!!!!!!!

  11. I think they’ve already been setting this up, Matthew has been threatening to break Downton apart, my guess is that Robert steps up and challenges him to a winner-take-all of Downtown duel.

  12. Yeah, I mostly liked him when he was an invalid, except no – now that I think about it he was a whiny bitch even then. Guy gets more inheritances than anyone in the world and all he does is whine about how he doesn’t deserve them.

  13. Robbie Rist

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