Moments after the world got word that Kellan Lutz is on a long road that will certainly eventually end in an Oscar, Joaquin Phoenix has revealed that he DOESN’T EVEN WANT ONE? AND ALSO SOMETHING ABOUT CARROTS? Why do we even have the Oscars, just let these guys figure it out for themselves! From Interview:

“I’m just saying that I think it’s bullshit. I think it’s total, utter bullshit, and I don’t want to be a part of it. I don’t believe in it. It’s a carrot, but it’s the worst-tasting carrot I’ve ever tasted in my whole life. I don’t want this carrot. It’s totally subjective. Pitting people against each other … It’s the stupidest thing in the whole world. It was one of the most uncomfortable periods of my life when Walk the Line was going through all the awards stuff and all that. I never want to have that experience again. I don’t know how to explain it—and it’s not like I’m in this place where I think I’m just above it — but I just don’t ever want to get comfortable with that part of things.”

Strong words. Strong and totally understandable, actually! Joaquin Phoenix saying he doesn’t want to have to deal with the Oscars is far and away the most understandable thing Joaquin Phoenix has said or done in recent memory. CANCEL THEM. Cancel the Oscars. No one wants to deal with it, NOT EVEN Joaquin Phoenix. We’ll have a party and eat snacks and drink a $17 bottle of sparkling wine for some other reason. Oscars cancelled! Sorry, Kellan Lutz! (Via AVClub.)

Comments (26)
  1. Yeah, fuck carrots!

  2. “King of Carrot Flowers” – Neutral Milk Hotel

  3. Maybe not an Oscar, but judging from that picture he should win an award for his impression of Mel Gibson as the boy on the box of Cracker Jacks.

  4. Oh no! Right after Walk the Line was when Joaquin pretended to quit acting and be a bearded rapper for a three year joke no one understood!

    Let’s all make sure we call our congressman and demand this fine actor not be considered for an Oscar. Or that he do. I don’t know, whatever’s more amusing on the way to the grave.

    • I am very conflicted about him, because I’ve loved some movies he was in (Walk The Line, Buffalo Soldiers), but I kind of hate him.

  5. He’s just bitter that the last time he was at the ceremony seat fillers kept trying to take his seat, despite his cries of “I’m still here.”

  6. I Yam What I Yam Still Here.

  7. Notice how he puts pretty much every vegetable in his cart EXCEPT carrots in this commercial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wg1n_cBD1O4

    The man hates carrots!

  8. Everybody should just start hosting annual LOST finale viewing parties instead. It’ll be just as infuriating, but at least we would watch one actor get punched off of a cliff every year, which is a small step up.

  9. ” but I’ve almost died 234 times due to oscar seeking business”
    - Bugs Bunny

  10. I think I understand what he’s getting at. The Oscars are the worst, after all, and there’s a lot of tail-wagging-the-dog, where prestige pictures get made that are designed from the ground up to win Oscars and are inevitably rewarded, rather than the Oscars being anything resembling a truly merit-based award.

  11. I mean he is sad he lost and i think he deserved to win one of those times. He needs to learn a thing or two from the Honorable Susan Lucci about loosing gracefully.

  12. Humblebrag.

  13. Sorry Joaquin Phoenix, but not everyone had such an easy entry into showbiz as you. You take that for granted.

  14. Carrot?

    Sounds more like sour grapes.

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