One of America’s greatest dramas is that of Jennifer Aniston, her undying love for Brad Pitt, and her searing hatred of Angelina Jolie. Long after each player is dead, it will continue to be spoken about in hushed tones in moon cafes and space living rooms by children and adults alike, huddled by the hologram fire — “Do you think Brad ever truly got over Jennifer? Heaven knows she certainly never got over him. Do you think Angelina forbid him from ever speaking Jennifer’s name to the children? Were they allowed to watch Friends? Did she get engaged to Justin Theroux just to spite them both?” God Himself couldn’t have written a more compelling tragedy, not even if He had the largest piece of paper in the world. And today we have been given a wonderful new chapter. From Zap2It:

Rumor has it that Jennifer Aniston has invited her ex-mother-in-law to her wedding! Brad Pitt’s mom, Jane Pitt, became very close to Jen before they split, and they’ve remained close since the divorce. Now, The Sun is reporting that Jane is on Jennifer’s invite list for her upcoming marriage to Justin Theroux.

A source tells the tabloid, “Jennifer wants Jane to be there. She’s closer to her than she is to her own mother, Nancy, and it just feels right.”

Word is, Jane has every intention of attending. “Jane is thrilled that Jennifer has found happiness again. She has been on the end of the phone and in person offering advice and support for the past seven years. She wouldn’t miss Jen’s wedding for anything.”

A: No, she wouldn’t miss Jen’s wedding for anything. But what does Angelina think? What do the children think? WIll Brad Pitt’s mom be invited to Brad Pitt’s wedding? If Brad and Angelina aren’t going to be invited to Jen’s wedding, does that mean Jen and Justin aren’t going to be invited to Brad’s wedding? Or will Angelina invite them JUST to look like the bigger person? Ahh, we can guess and guess and guess, but we’ll just have to wait patiently for the next chapter to know the answers. The End.

Comments (10)
  1. But how does Honey Boo Boo feel about all of this???

  2. jane pitt won’t be at the wedding, therefore keeping Jennifer Aniston forever sad. for ever and ever. will she ever be happy?

  3. I want to know what Doug Pitt thinks. (Not really about this, but just stuff in general.)

  4. Talk about awkward! Brad must really be dreading this.

  5. “Jane is thrilled that Jennifer has found happiness again.” WHO MAKES THIS SHIT UP? Like are you kidding me with this? Getting married is a necessary condition of happiness and Jane Pitt is like, “well obviously,” and then this anonymous source/troll is like, “well obviously,” and then some large percentage of readers are also like, “well obviously”?

    “She has been on the end of the phone and in person offering advice and support for the past seven years.” HAHAHAHAHA

  6. I wonder what percentage of Americans believe the Miserable Jen narrative, and what percentage are aware that it must be total bullshit.

    That said, I buy that she still talks to Brad’s mom. Why not? I once went to a wedding where the ex-husband’s parents were invited, and if that can happen to me, it can happen to people who are invited to Jen’s wedding.

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