Glenn Beck has started his own denim line, OBVIOUSLY, because this is AMERICA.

I love the specificity of that opening sentence. Late last year. Not “recently,” or “last year.” Late last year. Glenn Beck isn’t going to bullshit you about when he “took a look at some of his favorite denim companies.” Hahahha. PLEASE LIST! Oh, please list. I want so badly to know what “some of [Glenn Beck's] favorite denim companies” are. Seven for All Mankind, yes, but WHO ELSE?! Oh right, JNCO. Not content to sit back and complain, Glenn Beck decided to do something about it (i.e. sell the limited use of the rights to his name to a company that his nephew was starting). This is the thing that broke the Glenn Beck’s back? It seems to me that he has been pretty content to sit back and complain about pretty much everything and has kind of made a cottage industry out of sitting back and complaining, but this time he was like “Oh hell no! I have taken a look at some of my favorite denim companies and I do not like what I see. You know what I, Glenn Beck, should do? I should start my own line of jeans!” Doesn’t he even realize that you are supposed to START WITH HOODIES, and see how many Lulu will buy for the store and then wrestle her bohemian dad played by Joe Pantoliano for some seed money and have a turf war with a competing graphic hoodie street design company, the Neanderthals, even though their leader is trying to steal your ex-girlfriend with his locally sourced molasses, and only then, after you sleep with Yossi’s wife in the back of a livery cab, only then, at 5AM, at a rooftop after hours spot in Chinatown, do you announce to all of your weed-dealing dog walker friends that you’re going back to the original dream of owning your own denim line. THE DREAM OF CRISP IS ALIVE IN GLENN BECK, SON! (Via HyperVocal.)

Comments (27)
  1. I want to make a more in-depth comment about this but I am just too depressed that I actually agree with Glenn Beck about something.

    • I just learned that one of my sustainable eco-friendly hippie companies primarily makes its stuff in China… so they literally have NO accountability there and can say whatever the fuck they want in regards to their footprints and impact on ecosystems. But, at the same time, a lot of Made In America stuff is made in terrifying American sweatshops in downtown L.A. with lots of messed up practices.

      So I only buy Crisp now because at least I KNOW that all proceeds go to some idiot’s weed and energy drink side venture.

    • seriously, this is the only thing both hipsters and Glenn Beck are aligned on. UGH.

  2. Founding Dad Jeans.

  3. Oh man, Kevin Smith is probably so conflicted right now over his liberal political views vs. his extreme love of jorts.

  4. So this is what he’s been up to!

  5. “the women who sew these jeans together. THEY are heroes. They are modern-day Betsy Rosses” – Glenn Beck today, probably

  6. “Glenn Beck named his company 1791, because out of all the years where blacks and women couldn’t vote or own land, 1791 was his favorite.” — Press Release on website.

  7. These jeans have magic underwear secretly sewn into the lining. It’s a conspiracy to convert people to Mormonism so they vote for Romney. Wake up sheeple.

  8. Finally my chance to get into Glenn Beck’s pants! It’s been along time coming.

  9. The Christmas sweater looks so much like the sigil of a White Power biker gang.

  10. I really really really hope these are just reappropriated JNCOs. He stumbled across three empty warehouses full of them in Greensboro, NC had them shipped and re-labeled in Kentucky and should be arriving at your nearest Tea Party Rally/Abortion Clinic protest any day now…get the cameras ready!

  11. By far the best part of this is the outrage over “denim” not being American enough

    “The word comes from the name of a sturdy fabric called serge, originally made in Nîmes, France, by the André family.”

    • EXACTLY! And “the contemporary use of jean comes from the French word for Genoa, Italy (Gênes), where the first denim trousers were made.”

  12. Let’s get down to brass tacks here. How racist would wearing one of these jeans make you? Are we talking “favourite-baseball-team-is-the-Cleveland-Indians” or “used-Mexican-migrant-workers-as-target-practice” racist?

  13. someone with photoshop please insert glenn beck’s goofy face:

    onto this american apparel ad:

  14. So when does this become like american apparel and just feature mostly-naked girls in the ads?

    [one of my favorite things about american apparel is that it's sold overseas. yes, that makes sense sustainably and totally plays into what your original brand stood for]

  15. I assume these will have an elastic waistband? You can’t celebrate ‘Merica without a big plate of Freedom Fries.

  16. Rob Kardashian I am still waiting for your sock line!

  17. “It took 1791 a full year to get the jeans right.”

  18. Denim from the french word de nimes meaning of “nimes”. Nimes being a town in france and not amurica where the frabic was originally made. L2 use wikipedia glen beck..or…travel the world.

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