I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for bottles like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will chop you in half with something in the driveway. (Via VideoSift.)

Comments (27)
  1. Those bottles have been serviced.

  2. All I can think about watching this video is, oh his poor neighbors.

  3. Judging by the change of seasons and the different beard lengths, it took him a ridiculous amount of time to slice such a small amount of bottles.

  4. When I was his age, all we did with that many bottles was take one down and pass it around.

  5. I don’t know who Weith is, but if I were him I’d LOOK OUT!

  6. If he’s blaming his robust physique on water retention, I don’t think this is the answer to the problem. Probably cathartic, though.

  7. With all of these ancient weapons, Will Keith will be very prepared for the post-apocalypse, but unfortunately he wasted all of the drinkable water :-( :-(

  8. That’s right, third-world countries, In America, we have an army of well fed warriors who destroy fresh water JUST FOR FUN. Suck it.

  9. This is why I’m glad I don’t live in Suburbia.


  11. What would’ve happened if he had gone after one of these instead:

  12. I want to go back in time and make this my 8th grade yearbook quote:

    “I will look for you, I will find you, and I will chop you in half with something in the driveway.”

  13. He lost me at ninja swords but he won me back at gigantic pug shirt.

  14. Weirdest recycling bin pickup ever.

  15. Epic soundtrack is epic.

  16. I would be interested to see “Will Keith in the Construction of the Special Box On Top Of Which Bottles Are Sliced.”

  17. When he repeatedly stabbed the large water cooler bottle? Game over.

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