Haha, guys, I don’t even know what’s going on anymore. Is this whole thing just a viral marketing stunt for The Campaign? Fuck America? I’m all for taking life a little less seriously and being generous with the haha’s but that’s also one of the big reasons why I’M NOT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT. (Other reasons include: complete incompetence for the job and the entirety of my unelectable published record on Videogum.com.) Meanwhile Pizza Hut is offering a lifetime supply of pizza to anyone at the upcoming Town Hall style debate if they will ask Barack Obama and Mitt Romney about their favorite fucking pizza toppings:

“We recognize there are a lot of serious issues to be debated, but we also know a lot less serious – but no less important – ones are being discussed every night inside houses across the country,” said Kurt Kane, CMO, Pizza Hut. “So for the candidates to be able to show that they’re in tune with all the issues, we felt a pizza-related question on behalf of The Pizza Party was very appropriate for a town hall debate.”

Hey! Kurt Kane! CMO, Pizza Hut! Why don’t you work as hard on MAKING YOUR PIZZA NOT TASTE LIKE SHIT as you do at coming up with tongue-in-cheek viral marketing campaigns that demean the democratic process! Just work as hard on both! 4 America! Vote for President of the United States on Tuesday, November 6th, and watch the exciting new series REVOLUTION, on NBC, Monday nights at 10PM EST. (Via Pajiba and Mediate.)

Comments (38)
  1. You just know Mitt’s a pepperoni guy.

  2. surprised they didn’t go with a similar tagline:
    “Wake Up, America! It’s time to quit worrying about Big Government and start worrying about Big Bird!”

  3. I predict a strong push for a third party candidate when both candidates answer “arugula”.

  4. That pizza thing is really dumb, but when he said “on behalf of The Pizza Party” it made me remember one of my favorite board games from childhood:

  5. I miss a good, negative campaign ad. This is almost Willie Horton-levels of fantastic.

  6. Mittt: Almas caviar and matsutake mushrooms with foie gras sipping sauce.
    Obama: non-gluten crust with soy cheese and organic quinoa.

  7. How can we even talk about the election and pizza without posting this gif???

    • His presidential decrees on the Daily Show are the BEST. When he addresses the creatures of the forest about an oil spill??? Ahahahaha.

      Also, people thought he was a real candidate. I swear my infatuation with this man will never end — is he a parody? A plant? A pervert? A pizza maven? I HONESTLY DON’T KNOW.

    • My new avatar loves it!

  8. “The future state of the US economy and concern over the shrinking middle class is equally as important as whether you like mushrooms or pepperoni on your pizza” – Kurt Kane, Certified Genius

    • maybe kurt’s comment was a dada-ist critique that just calls into attention that all of the questions facing the candidates are just as pointless as knowing their preferred pizza toppings, as this is all pageantry and has no actual grounding in real policies, priorities, or governing actions.

  9. Who there, let’s just back off on Pizza Hut there. That’s really dumb, sure, and their pizza mostly sucks, but Pizza Hut in Europe is actually PRETTY GOOD, albeit unnecessarily expensive, and one time they put an entire post-it note in my pizza which totally ruined the $10 bet I had going over whether or not I could eat an entire large pizza by myself (Could. Did.) but not of that even matters, because Pizza Hut in Spain will deliver sangria with your pizza! Even if you have them deliver it to you while you’re at work! And that’s alright in my book.

    • Whoa! European Pizza Huts sound great!

      But seriously, I have a soft spot in my heart for Pizza Hut, because every Wednesday in middle school they would bring in Pizza Hut pizzas and for $2, instead of eating school lunch or bringing your lunch, you could have pizza. It was my favorite day of the week. It was everyone’s favorite day of the week.

    • Do you have to eat the little plastic table, too? Because, while I am NOT a liscensed medical doctor, I would strongly suggest that you do not take that bet if the plastic table is involved.

      • You don’t get the little plastic table when you eat at the restaurant. Everybody knows that!

        European Pizza Hut is also a great way to determine how many Americans there are in the area. Just go into one and take a quick look around. If they’re eating with their hands, they’re American. If they’re eating with a fork and knife, you can be sure they’re locals.

        • My first foray into European pizza was delivery at my cousin’s house. They ate pizza with a knife and fork, and I was all, “Whatevs, different strokes for different folks.” Then I noticed there was no tomato sauce on the pizza, which I attributed to the kinds of toppings we each had. Then they put ketchup on the pizza and asked me if I wanted to as well. That’s where I draw the line. Don Pepe, if you expect customers to put ketchup on a pizza, then you should advertise your product not as pizza, but as “a hot circle of garbage.”
          Also they thought every pizzeria in America was just Pizza Hut.

    • I agree…OMG I go away for a few days and facetaco has a new icon pic! OMG OMG

    • I feel like a facetaco eating a pizza is borderline cannibalism. #theethicist

  10. At least we’re still at the level of dignity where the topic of pizza is brought up only during the Town Hall meeting and not the traditional debate.

  11. Um, you guys, THE REVOLUTION is really bad and very unrealistic in certain scenes. Like the base camp is Wisconsin? And Apple has tied-in branding where a reoccurring plot point was that a mom kept her iPhone so she could someday look at pictures of her kids? And somehow in the electricity-free future people are taking the time to crop dogs ears?? But now it has gotten so terrible, I can’t stop watching it.

    • I might actually start watching it, just for the series finale, where they get electricity back, and the mom goes to turn on her iPhone, only to find out that the battery can no longer charge after being drained for lo these many years, and she can’t replace it because Apple doesn’t let her. That will make the whole thing worthwhile.

      • The ending is a long line of angry people at an Apple store that somehow miraculously survived and is still shiny and staffed. That is perfect.

    • How does her iphone still work? Does it not run on electricity?

  12. This Pizza Hut thing isn’t the BEST idea, sure, but their original idea to have sister company KFC ask if the candidates prefer original or extra crispy fell through after McCain lost to Obama, and it turns out that would just be racist.

    • P.S. In the Navy, they do port briefs before you pull in anywhere, going over safety information but also what kind of attractions and whatnot they have there. Since we were in Europe, they always liked to point out American restaurants we might want to take care of. We had a chief on the ship whose last name was Sanders, and was also black. When we were pulling in somewhere once, the Captain said during the port brief that they have “Chief Sanders’ favorite restaurant, KFC.” After he realized that this would likely be taken as horribly racist, he quickly mumbled something about “because Colonel Sanders” and ended the port brief in a hurry. It was pretty much the best thing ever.

  13. NBC should make a show called Tossed set in a world where Pizza suddenly and mysteriously ceased to exist. Twelve years after the Pizza went out everyone is eating so much tacos. Glowing stick of pepperoni in attic.

  14. Frankly, after the debate last week where the guy who spent 90 minutes lying was declared the “winner” and subsequently got a 2-3 point boost in the polls, I think it’s time we all faced the fact that most people just don’t take any of this shit seriously. Judging by this ad, I’d say the Obama campaign has come to that realization as well.

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