We’re at a point in our collective lives, I think, where we can be adults about turning board games into movies. The Ouija Board movie is probably going to come out at some point, for instance, and there is no doubt that that is going to be great and perfect, so why not just turn them all into movies? Whatever. We’re all dying soon, who even cares what movies exist. And on top of that, it’s Friday! Who cares about anything! So here: A Hungry Hungry Hippos movie is going to be made even though that game is about marbles being caught under cups, basically. From the LA Times:
Hasbro, the company behind the hits “Transformers” and “G.I. Joe” and the flop “Battleship,” has signed a deal with independent production and finance company Emmett/Furla Films to make movies based on the board games Hungry Hungry Hippos and Monopoly and the toy Action Man.
“Action Man,” they say, as if anyone has ever heard of the toy Action Man at all ever in their entire lives.
Rhode Island-headquartered Hasbro, which has a film production office at the Universal Pictures lot, announced the three-picture deal Thursday and confirmed that the first movie will be “Monopoly,” which the two companies hope to start production on in 2013. Emmett/Furla principal Randall Emmett confirmed that the other two properties covered by the deal are Action Man and Hungry Hungry Hippos.
Hungry Hungry Hippos, which debuted in 1978, is a game in which players compete with plastic hippos to swallow marbles off of a board. Emmett/Furla plans to make it into an animated movie for children.
“For children,” they say, as if we won’t ALL want to see it. But, like we’ve already noted, this game doesn’t have a plot already! It has nothing! So it’s fun to imagine what sorts of things these hungry hippos are going to get themselves into. Like:
- Hungry Hippos are so hungry that they resort to begging. They quickly learn how little empathy strangers have. Though they did not want to drag their children into this, showing them how horrible the world could be at such a young age, they think people will be more generous if they see the hippos with their children. People are, but only slightly.
- Hungry Hippos are always like, “Ugh, marbles AGAIN?”
- Hungry Hippos are astronauts and they travel to space and once they get to space they find this race of weird beings that turn out to be, what do you know, HUMANS! And, wait, hippos can’t talk on this planet?! Then you find out the HHH came from a planet other than Earth, which is why they could talk and travel to space.
- The Hippos are all loosely connected somehow and they each get to tell their own stories about themselves and the city the live in and the things they love.
- Hungry Hungry Hippos are a band on the verge of success — but is that what they want?
I LOVE ALL OF THESE IDEAS! I can’t wait for this moovvieee!