I’ve never understood what it is about clowns that makes some people so afraid of them. Their delightful painted faces? Their humorously large shoes? The fact that they can pack many of themselves into a tiny car — many more humans than you’d think would be able to fit into a tiny car, let alone with all those clown accoutrements? Their beautiful shocks of orange or neon yellow hair? Their ability to pass through life thought of as harmless children’s entertainers, their malicious intent never becoming known until they — makeup smeared, drooling — have an already bloodied axe raised over your face? I don’t know! I guess I’ll just never get it. One thing I do get, though, is that this huge warehouse of clown items this guy inherited from his clown enthusiast father — six truck-loads of clown items — makes for a very spooky warehouse that maybe he should put a bunch of padlocks on because who knows what those things get up to at night, or what they could be planning!

EEK! I mean, also very sweet, but also EEEEEEK! Do you think he’s starting to become interested in the clowns because they’ve begun taking over his brain and soon he will be prepared to do their bidding? Do you think he doesn’t like the sad ones because their the only ones with human empathy? What do you think?! BOO! Haha! Were you scared? Ahhh! BOO! (Via Abroath.)

Comments (15)
  1. This guys seems like a real bozo

  2. Hey, you have a bunch of clown stuff! Let’s dress you up in a goofy costume and put you on TV!

    P.S. Sorry about the death of your father, or whatever.

  3. That man’s father lived at the magical intersection in life where you’re kind of a maniac who’s obsessed with clowns and you also somehow manage to make enough money to acquire a Smithsonian-sized collection of clown memorabilia.

    • the only money required to gather that collection is for the gas it takes to go from rummage sale to rummage sale, and then for the designated spring cleaning trash pick-up days clown collectors refer to as “the Big Haul”

  4. i have no fear of clowns, but i do find these old-guy types that love clowning and do things like call it an “art form” truly sad. because it’s usually one of two things:

    1) you can see their depression. it is a palpable feeling they give off that screams “if i don’t keep up all of this laughing and smiling, i won’t be able to get out of bed in the morning or stop from crying for no reason

    or

    2) they are obnoxious people who want so desperately to be funny but are incapable of it. so they recycle ancient gags and ticks and think they are being entertaining.

    with this guy, there is a little of both.

  5. I think the biggest reason people are afraid of clowns is Pennywise, and the 2nd biggest reason is a tie between ICP and John Wayne Gacy.

  6. “clown enthusiast father”? Why not just say “serial murderer”

  7. By the way, Kelly, THIS is why people are terrified of clowns.

  8. There has to be a better name than ‘Clown Rushmore’.

    Clownton Abbey?
    Lost & Clown’d?
    Creepy Serial Killer Supply Shop?

  9. “This is a clown face.” Thanks for the clarification. I was so confused at what I was looking at for an entire minute.

  10. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  11. All he needs is a couple broken down strippers and he can have his own Jumbo’s Clown Room.

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