It is very impressive that you’re able to open that beer can with your teeth, beginning at a place that doesn’t even seem like it’s the perforated pull tab, and it is very impressively horrible to have to watch you act like your mouth — your poor, delicate mouth — is a can opener, but do try to remember that you need to BE CAREFUL WITH THAT STUFF, MEANING YOUR TEETH AND YOUR GUMS! If for no other reason than that it’s going to be expensive to fix. How are we even supposed to focus on the fact that you’ve opened this beer can in a nonsense way, to drink the beer in a nonsense amount of time, when all we’re focused on is the tearing of your gums? Think before you act, deer hunter. Some of us haven’t even started MAKING coffee yet. (Via ViralViral.)

Comments (18)
  1. This must be one of the responsible gun owners the NRA has been telling us about.

  2. AAAAHHHHHHHH I hope he has really really good dental insurance.

    • Ok, that was not a very good comment. But in my defense, AAAAHHHH THE SOUNDS DO YOU THINK THE CAN IS MAKING THOSE CAN SQUEAKY SOUNDS AAAAHHHHHH THIS SEEMS VERY UNPLEASANT.

    • Do you think he’s one of those guys who has all of his teeth capped in metal? For after the apocalypse when there are no can openers?

  3. Unrelated, but:

    You. Freaking. Guys. I am so excited right now. I have a NEMESIS! And I don’t know who it is! But SOMEBODY is trying to violate my rights! Not to go into all of the details (even though I really, really want to), but someone in HR is trying to keep me down, and I knew who it was, but I just found out today that her orders came from higher up. But I still don’t know who it was!

    You guys, I am pretty much a TV show at this point. A really boring one, but still!

    • But….but I thought I was your nemesis. Well, ok. Ok then.

    • WOW!! I had a nemesis in high school. She was my evil twin, we looked alike and, according to everyone, had the exact same personality. Which in hindsight is probably why we hated each other so much; being confronted with how annoying you are as a 16 year old is never fun. Then she started dating my best friend and we were forced to interact all the time. We came up with some pretty ingenious tortures for each other, woe to the world had we teamed up!

      • You should reconnect on Facebook! Hijinks are sure to ensue!

        • Think of the possibilities! We could wear matching outfits in opposite colours! We could have a lair! We could laugh maniacally in perfect unison!

          What does it say about me that I never even considered us NOT being supervillains in this scenario?

          • I was thinking hijinks more along the lines of the classic comedy You Again, which featured a dance-off between Jamie Lee Curtis and Sigourney Weaver.

            I’m not sure what it says about ME that I pictured you as the Jamie Lee Curtis in that scenario, rather than the Kristen Bell, but…I’m sorry?

    • THIS CONSPIRACY GOES ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP!!! You should probably wear a wire! And put a spy camera in your pocket or something! Figure out who your nemesis is! And then tell us! And then we can figure out who should play him/her in the TV show/Lifetime movie of your life.

  4. Is that the American can-do spirit I’ve been hearing so much about from bowhunter Paul Ryan?

  5. You haven’t even made your coffee yet? You need to get on the ball! Clearly it’s already tooth hurty!

  6. Four out of five dentists can’t sit through this video without screaming in abject terror.

  7. why is he all “shhhhh” when he posted this to youtube?

    • I think the joke is that he’s hunting and you gotta be quiet. He’s normally very serious about the grandeur of nature and shit but a man’s gotta stay hydrated.

      “I just really get this guy.” – me.

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