“It’s mostly a joke,” you tell your friends with a laugh, shrugging your shoulders. “It’s not like I’m all, ‘Oh yeah, I love Star Wars, can’t get enough Star Wars, blah blah blah, Yoda Yoda, Luke I am your father, I thought this yoga studio smelled bad on the OUTSIDE, take me Princess Leia‘ you know? It’s not like that — haha, you know I’m not like that.” Sensing your discomfort, your friends shrink away, murmuring about this and that. “I mean, the positions are generally traditional yoga positions,” you continue, “just with a fun, light-hearted twist. It definitely sounds silly, and that’s because it is! But the fact is that it’s just a good workout, and, you know, yoga is great not only for your physical wellbeing but also for your mental wellbeing. You guys should try it. Star Wars yoga nights are on Tuesday, but I don’t know, maybe you guys should stick to regular yoga? Star Wars yoga isn’t really for beginners, plus me and the guys kind of have a pace set up that we’re all comfortable with. You understand. So if you can just stay away from this particular yoga studio on those nights,” you begin to lose control over your speech pattern as your friends stare at you, now with their full attention. “I mean, it’s fine. It’s just fun. It’s just– I mean–”

Looking good, boys! (Via Portlandia.)

Comments (29)
  1. “Beam me upward facing Scotty Dog.”

  2. I shudder to think what the downward facing Wookie looks like…

  3. His studio is conveniently located upstairs from Lululemon Mothma.

  4. They could have left the word “Portland” off of that headline; I think we would have figured it out.

  5. the first three sessions will be great, and then when you go back to finish off the three remaining sessions 20 years later, you will be sorely disappointed.

  6. I gotta visit Portland.

  7. Weird. I always pictured yoga drawing more females.

  8. Goddammit. That’s my neighborhood, too.

    • Well strap some braids to the sides of your head and limber up, badidea!

    • When I visit, we’re taking that class.

    • Uhhhhh….. WHAT?! I lived on 13th & Webster for five years and just moved! THAT IS FUCKING WEIRD AS HELL!

      • Wait, what??? Why didn’t we meet for drinks at Tiga?

        • I don’t know! I’m sure we ran into each other all the time, though! I was the guy always walking the black & white hound with the giant floppy ears who looks like his head belongs on a different dog.

          • Huh. That is not at all how I picture you.

            I picture you like this:

          • Ahhh! I’m the girl walking the dog that looks just like my avatar! Often to Tiga for drinks! Did you have that cucumber gimlet? That was the best summer drink of the summer!!

          • I have not! Real talk, I’ve only been to Tiga once (the realest of talk). For some reason, even though it was only a couple blocks from my house, I guess Prescott & 15th seemed like a different neighborhood. I still haven’t been to Pok Pok Noi. Something like Branch seemed much closer even though it’s three times as far. Also, their Sazerac might very well be my favorite drink in town.

            I miss that neighborhood :(

          • Yeah Tiga is on the other side of my block AND dog-friendly so it’s my favorite. Plus a wine store just opened up in that little area too. I like Branch enough, but you can’t bring dogs… But I totally get it. I don’t go to that vegan bar on 9th? 10th? because it feels far away and it’s closer than most stuff. (Plus it skews too young… but their gin drinks are great.)

            Why would you ever leave? This place is like Xanadu.

          • Vegan bar = Bye & Bye? It’s very dog-friendly! My wife orders the titular drink and though I can’t remember what it actually contains, it seemed like the PDX version of a long island – it was a cornucopia of liquors in what looked like a gallon jug. The food is actually surprisingly good!

            About leaving Alberta – my wife got a really cool job in Hood River, so I’m commuting to Portland for the time being.

          • It is??? I swear they had a no dogs rule on their porch. Maybe it’s like a No Homers rule?

            Well at least Hood River is super pretty.

          • It might be just the front “porch” (fenced slab of pavement with a bunch of picnic tables). I think they close it off around dinner (god knows why – OLCC?) I never asked if they allow furry companions in the back patio. They might, but I’ve taken my guy there a couple times and everyone has been really cool with it.

          • Noted! Thanks! Any place I can drink with my dog is the best place.

    • Well, looks like you know what your Take One For the Team mission is now!

  9. “When 900 years old you reach, be as flexible you will not!” – Yoda

  10. Is it bad that the only thing keeping me from possibly going to this is the fact that there may be prequel poses?

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