Have you ever noticed how sometimes people disappear for awhile and then they come back, and it’s so fun when they do? For example: Parker Posey! She’s everywhere these days. Louie, New Girl, ONE OF THE TRAILERS AFTER THE JUMP! Great to have her back. Luv her. I’m sure there are other examples of people who disappeared and then all of a sudden return with a vengeance but we don’t have time to pull examples of that out of our butts all day we have got 2 get 3 these new movie trailers!

Vamps

Hahahhahah uhhhhhhhhhhh…………Look, I love Amy Heckerling, and this cast is actually pretty incredible (oh hai, Wallace Shawn) (the guy from Downton Abbey?!) so maybe we should just leave it at that. But can we? Can we leave it at that? Because I kind of feel like there is more to say! I am not sure if I love or hate this trailer. I AM GOING TO HAVE COFFIN HAIR IN THE MORNING! But in terms of sending up the vampire trend with a campy, valley girl schtick, isn’t that what Buffy is supposed to do? I’m so confused! Please send help.

Identity Thief

In my old age I have come to appreciate a high concept premise. Oh, there is nothing better than beautiful, complex, difficult to explain art. But sometimes it’s fun to just hear an idea and go “yes, I understand that idea and that idea is funny to me.” This is an example of something that does that.

Promised Land

Oof. I don’t know, guys. If nothing else this just looks like one of those kind of boring movies that preaches to the choir. Like, the ONLY people who are going to see this are people who already hate FRACKING or whatever this is even about. No one is going to walk out of the theater going “I used to not give a wild F about the environment, but after those stirring performances and that riveting human drama, now I am beginning to think multi-national corporations shouldn’t be allowed to strip mine my farm.” We’re already on board with your moral outcome. Also there is something very funny to me about Matt Damon and John Krasinski writing this together. Just picturing the two of them at Intelligentsia huddled over a pair of laptops being like, “INT. BAR – NIGHT: Matt Damon is playing pool. John Krasinksi enters. His hat is perfect.” Haha.

The Comedy

This: The Movie?

Stoker

This looks very creepy! I don’t like horror movies because they are too scary, but I like movies like this, even though in some ways they are even scarier. CREEPY PARANORMAL SEX MYSTERIES! Yes, please.

Price Check

PARKER!!!!!! She. Is. Back! This looks good. I am not generally a huge fan of infidelity movies. It’s just an aspect of the human experience that while common enough and potentially worth exploring in some fashion, like maybe a college psychology paper, bums me out to the extreme and as the central conflict of a movie just feels like the writer or director trying to work through some personal stuff. But on the other hand, I love movies about grocery price manipulators, so they cancel each other out and then you throw Posey in the mix and it is A++ across the board. #Fandango

The Details

Ahhhhh! More infidelity! Although to be honest, this looks pretty good, too. You know what, forget what I said since I clearly have been proven wrong twice in a row. I love movies about infidelity. They are my favorite kind of movie. I cannot wait to see all of the movies on this important subject.

Comments (24)
  1. Somewhat related: anyone else find it a bit odd that John Krasinski narrates the Esurance commercials? Come on, Jim Halpert, you can get more respectable work than that.

  2. I really want to see Vamps, I won’t see it in the week it’s going to be in theaters but I will watch it on tv one day and enjoy it

  3. Fun fact: Stoker was written by Wentworth Miller, who also wrote a prequel, which seems KINDA PRESUMPTUOUS, but I guess when you’re Wentworth Miller you have to learn not to count on one thing keeping food on your table forever, and you start to think ahead.

  4. I love Matthew Goode so I might have to see Stoker, but I’m also a big wimp about scary movies so maybe not.

  5. Eric Mabius, he never joined my special people’s club but I will watch him with Parker Posey any day

  6. I thought the Parker Posey joke was going to be about Alicia Silverstone, but I guess once that bird-feeding video went viral she’ll never leave the public consciousness?

    • I actually didn’t even realize that was Alicia Silverstone until her name flashed onscreen, at which point I took the trailer back to the beginning to watch again. She looks great though! And Vamps looks, like badideajeans said below, like a great fluffy dumb movie. Fun fun fun.

  7. yes,i also love matthew goode, thanks catweazle
    click here for paint zoom spray’

  8. I saw Vamps a few months ago (followed by a horrendously moderated Q&A with Wallace Shawn, Alicia Silverstone and Amy Heckerling) and it is cheap-looking and corny, but still enjoyable if you’re a fan of everyone involved. The worst part is it’s set in New York City, which plays a central role to the plot line, but it was shot in Detroit except for one scene in Time Square.

    Also, I love Chan-wook Park, so I’m very “stoked” (LOL) to see that movie!

    • I love everyone in this movie so I will see it the day it comes out! Actually, I want to pre-order it on Amazon so I can watch it on DVD in my living room all winter.

      Uncle Andy looks so great in this. And Sigourney Weaver? And Kristen Ritter? And Wallace Shawn? This seriously looks like the fluffy dumb movie I’ve been waiting to watch for years.

  9. Parker Posey was mad hot in Blade: Trinity.

  10. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again… If you actually don’t know a lot about fracking or you just want to see a bunch of people set their water on fire… watch the documentary Gasland. It is horrifying!! (But actually very important to know about.)

    • Agreed. It’s an excellent film. I showed Gasland o the high school seniors I was teaching a few years ago in East L.A. The admin complained, “How is fracking relevant to East LA students?” Mind you, it was a persuasive writing course where the students were supposed to learn how to take informed positions on controversial topics. Yay, Public Ed! Treat your teachers like shit. Anyway, FUCK FRACKING!

  11. I know that we’ve all reached consensus on this, but anyway…
    I will defend anyone’s right to do whatever they want with their bodies as long as it doesn’t hurt others, but it really seems like a strange career choice for Nicole Kidman, whose job is to express emotions, to make her face look like a plastic mannequin.

  12. That Paul Ryan-Nicole Kidman flick is NOT going to rally the base.

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