Kelly: Hey, Gabe!
Gabe: hey kelly
Gabe: what’s up?!
Kelly: Just surfing the ‘net! What’s up with you?
Gabe: oh cool, that’s neat
Gabe: i am just eating and drinking as much as i can
Gabe: and celebrating another year in the Book of Life
Gabe: I HOPE
Gabe: no big deal
Kelly: Oh, that’s great!
Kelly: I’m not doing that but I’m happy for you.
Kelly: I think that’s what you are supposed to say to someone talking about a religious holiday you don’t share
Gabe: yeah, no, that’s exactly right
Kelly: Phew
Gabe: see anything good on the Internet?
Gabe: doubt it!
Kelly: Yeah no, I’ve only seen awful things.
Kelly: Honestly awful.

Gabe: yeah
Kelly: It’s a terrible place to spend your day, the Internet.
Gabe: the worst
Gabe: the only worse place
Gabe: i think
Gabe: is the Thai lady’s prison from Brokedown Palace
Kelly: Yeah, you probably can’t see this GIF in that place
Kelly: http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Tard-Grumpy-Cat-ron-swanson-cat.gif
Gabe: you definitely can’t, that’s most of what the movie is about
Gabe: is being deprived of that GIF
Kelly: hahah
Kelly: I’ve never seen it but it sounds terrible
Kelly: I mean it sounds GOOD, duh, but just unpleasant.
Gabe: two words: Claire Danes
Gabe: Heroin Balloon
Gabe: Jordan Catalano
Gabe: Bridget Jones

Gabe: it is kind of an intense movie until you see them do a send up of it in Bridget Jones and then you are like haha Thai women prisons are hilarious
Gabe: she smoked 4 cigarettes and swallowed 3 heroin balloons today
Gabe: and now she weights 10 stone
Kelly: I had to google “bridget jones brokedown palace” to understand what you were saying but now I get it and I’m totally there
Kelly: Bridget Jones ate a prison
Gabe: basically, yeah, and then Colin Firth is like
Gabe: “Christmas sweater.”
Gabe: I don’t know
Kelly: What a sweet flick
Gabe: it’s just a perfect movie, there is absolutely nothing you can criticize it for or about
Gabe: it was basically the Louie of its time
Kelly: Do not even get me started on how Louie is perfect and how there is absolutely nothing you can criticize it for or about
Gabe: oh god, tell me about it
Gabe: that show is great, but guess what it is also not without its flaws
Gabe: i am talking to the internet now, not you
Gabe: HEY INTERNET!
Kelly: “What” – Internet Voice
Gabe: it is OK to say that sometimes (most times) Louie feels like a student film and is not actually that funny and is very self-indulgent
Gabe: it’s still good! but we can all be honest adults about things
Kelly: “ARE YOU KIDDDING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE???????” – Internet Voice

Kelly: But yeah sometimes it isn’t great
Gabe: and guess what: maybe The Mindy Project will be good and maybe it won’t, but right now it is hard to tell
Gabe: that pilot was MIXED to say the LEAST
Kelly: You are right about that, to say the least.
Kelly: And guess what again, sometimes Breaking Bad wasn’t the best this past season AND ALSO the season before
Gabe: oh my god it was almost not even good sometimes this season!
Gabe: and i say that as a fan of the show!
Gabe: uh oh
Gabe: did you feel that?
Gabe: the world caving in?!
Kelly: I thought I felt that
Kelly: Should’ve seen it coming! See everyone in hell!
Gabe: the counter-argument that someone will make in the comments
Kelly: Is that you should just enjoy TV and not pick it apart?
Gabe: yup
Gabe: they will say “this stuff is so much better than other stuff, and therefore criticizing it is pointless, we should jsut be happy it exists at all”
Kelly: Right
Gabe: which is some real stockholm syndrome shit right there
Kelly: hahah
Gabe: PLESE SIR, MAY I HAVE SOME MORE?!
Gabe: as if somehow the way that television works is that the things we like will be taken away from us if someone reads our mean joke tweets

Kelly: Yeah well did you see what happened to Community though
Gabe: hahahahahhhaha
Gabe: wait, what happened?!
Kelly: A few people turned against it and IT GOT MOVED TO FRIDAYS.
Gabe: haaaaa
Kelly: I do understand, though, not getting upset with trivial things and just enjoying them
Gabe: oh sure, but that’s just called life
Kelly: But
Kelly: Enjoying them doesn’t mean unconditionally championing them
Kelly: Like, you can enjoy a TV show privately
Kelly: But if you’re going to talk about it a lot, in public especially
Kelly: You might as well be honest about it and with yourself
Gabe: well, there’s also a difference between, say, a plot loophole that doesn’t make sense if you think about it but who cares
Gabe: and something that you genuinely just don’t like
Gabe: there are things in the things that i like that i don’t like
Gabe: and i’m not worried that by talking about them i will ruin the the liking part of it, because i still like it too
Gabe: the worst part though
Gabe: is not when people talk about things and skip over the negative aspects
Gabe: that’s fine
Gabe: it’s when they swing in the opposite direction and talk about those things as perfect and IMPOSSIBLE to critcize
Gabe: i recognize that at this point i’m just creating an army of straw men

Gabe: but i believe that these straw men are real! and that they all have their own blogs!
Kelly: Hahaha
Kelly: I don’t know if I fully understand these particular straw men.
Kelly: You’re saying they talk about the things that are wrong as, like
Kelly: Imperfections that make the show perfect?
Gabe: no
Gabe: i mean that instead of just saying “i love this show, and here is why”
Gabe: and ignoring the parts that they might not love
Gabe: they say “I love this show and the reason is because it’s 100 percent perfect”
Kelly: Ooooohhh, right right
Gabe: strawman.com
Gabe: you can learn all about it a strawman.com
Kelly: strawman.com/blog
Gabe: ~creedthoughts
Kelly: hahah
Gabe: look, all i’m trying to say is
Gabe: there’s nothing wrong with being honest about stuff
Gabe: and that nothing is perfect, but it’s nice to see people strive for it
Gabe: except of course for Bridget Jones’s Diary 2: Exotic Heroin Jail
Gabe: the #1 movie of all time
Kelly: Amen
Gabe: God bless
Gabe: this mess
Kelly: And God please
Kelly: delete the internet
Gabe: AMEN

Comments (22)
  1. I love this friendly chat and the reason is because it’s 100 percent perfect.

    • I don’t know, I think it would have been better if they had acknowledged the fact that Bridget Jones 2 had a scene where Hugh Grant and Colin Firth got in a fistfight in a fountain while “I Believe in a Thing Called Love” played in the background. It was really remiss of them to leave that out. #keepingitreal

      • But this friendly chat is so much better than other stuff, and therefore criticizing it is pointless, we should jsut be happy it exists at all.

        • This is my promise to all of you: I will never not hold somebody accountable for failing to mention that a topic of conversation features Colin Firth being submerged in water. #catweazle2012

  2. So, they’re saying we should just be reasonable about things? *Thpppppphhhht*

  3. This conversation is a metaphor for all partisan politics since the beginning of time, right?

  4. I think we can all agree that the angry baby picture is at least 99% perfect.

  5. Except! Except! It’s much more difficult and worthwhile to give a meaningful defense of something that maybe has a couple warts than it is to find imperfections and gripe about them! Gabe you are basically arguing for your right to complain about Megan Fox’s toethumbs. Fanboyism suxx, but being 2 cool 4 film skool is also real shitty.

  6. As a pseudo-strawman, I’m perfectly fine with people finding problems with things that are overall good, or ‘better than average’. It’s the other strawmen that will criticize a show for “not being as good as it used to be” and arguing that it should just go away, because even if it’s good, it’s no longer great, and somehow it would be better for a new show that may not even be as good as the current show, let alone as great as the ‘previous seasons’ of the show, to take it’s place. See also: Do we really need an Arrested Development movie?

    As crappy as the Star Wars prequels and/or Crystal Skull movies are, no one was ‘forced’ to see them (although, not knowing they would be bad, at least in the case of Phantom Menace and maybe Crystal Skull, they might have felt they were tricked into seeing them) and you can always go back to enjoying “just the good parts”. Unlike the weird special edition stuff that Lucas keeps doing, ‘more’ should not ruin the good or great stuff that came before. At worst, it’s extras you don’t want to acknowledge or watch. Anything better than that is at least ‘more good’ to add to the total, even if it’s only a small ammount.

    Ultimately, I can’t understand the attitude of “they need to kill this thing off because each new thing they put out is a pale reflection of past greatness, but because of my nostalgia I will mindlessly watch this thing that I now hate, so the only way to stop this cycle is for them to stop making it, since I can’t stop watching it”. I can understand hate watching a show, the MSTiefication of the internet has made it hard to know whether you love to hate or hate to love those horrible reality TV shows and sitcoms that you still DVR every episode of. But if you feel a show should be cancelled, not watching it would seem to be a much easier solution, as there is easily enough tv out there to never have to watch something you don’t want to see. Being unable to watch the thing you do want to see on the other hand, is not as trivially easy. When the shows we love are so often cancelled before their time, the ones that outlive their greatness and get to grow old and settle into a comfortable mediocrity are a relief. Euthanizing those few that live into old age isn’t going to make the younger ones live longer or show up in greater numbers. And it does sort of reak of hipster “I liked it before it was cool to like it” elitism.

  7. It’s really hard to talk negatively about my favourite television show, Grimm. I suppose that if I was to gloss over everything about it that is perfect (Monroe) and only focus on the stuff that is not 100% perfect (everything else) I could maaaaaaybe work up an argument as to why it could potentially not be the pinnacle of recorded motion. But, Monroe. So… it’s pretty perfect. I <3 Stockholm.

    • I have a hard time not crying when people criticize the reason that television was invented, Grimm. Especially when they praise some things that are perfect (Monroe) but ignore others (like Juliet’s hair and the scenery).

      • As someone who has been slowly stalking the perfect show (Grimm) for half of this week, you both are very correct. Also, Monroe is the best. Also, I like his badass wolf-woman ex girlfriend and secretly hope they get together. This being said, other than the Beaver people or the cuter, rodent-type vessen, I hate it when they switch. It’s really dumb-looking!! Also it doesn’t need to be that bloody — suggestion of death is just as effective! But since the hot cop literally turns into a hot, red Hulk… That reminds me why it is the greatest show in the history of our lives.

  8. Better a plot loophole on a TV show than a BAGEL hole in your forehead. That is so so so awful, that horrible thing Kelly linked to.

  9. Gabe, I love you forever for your criticisms of Louie. Everything you said is very true. I love that show, but I have always felt like people, especially some friends of mine, talk about it like its Jesus reincarnated in tv show form and is completely impossible to criticize.

    • Yes, agreed. I also dislike hearing so frequently that it’s “the most innovative!!!!” A white guy with neuroses and depression is super innovative? It’s kind of a basic starting point we’ve seen before, yes? I mean, sure a lot of the stories he inflicts on his alternate persona are new and different and innovative, but can you really declare dirtier Woody Allen the “most innovative wave of the TV future?”

    • I actually don’t like that show at all. I think it’s far too self-satisfied, and I don’t buy into his self-deprecating humor; it always comes off as fake and overly pompous.

  10. I don’t understand people loving things that are perfect. Who likes things that are perfect? Most things I own, including (but not limited to) my MP3 player, my phone, my car, my computer, my NES, my wife,and my chair at work have weird lite quirks that only I can understand. That makes me love them more, because I understand them, and they are better because of their flaws. My favorite TV shows are the same way. Revenge has a secret Japanese revenge sensei, and a dog that is at least 18 years old (and possibly a zombie), but I love it even more because those things are fucking ridiculous.

    • When I’m all caught up on Grimm I’ll give this Revenge a try, but it had better be fucking ridiculous and have someone for me to fall in love with who is AT LEAST on par with Monroe or I’ll have to seriously alter my opinion of you.

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