Mitt Romney and wife Ann

Choosing the actor that is going to play you in the movie of your life is one of the most important decisions you will ever have to make, and one of the easiest things to screw up. For example if you asked me right now which actress I would want the answer I’d give you is Elizabeth Olsen, but the CORRECT answer is probably closer to Charlotte Gainsbourg making a puffy face in baby clothes and a messy wig. It’s hard to be objective about it, is what I’m saying. That is probably why this mess of a Q&A happened when Mitt and Ann Romney were on Live! this morning, from TMZ:

Gene Hackman would make a lovely Ann Romney in a Hollywood movie about her life … this according to Mitt Romney.

The Republican nominee and his wife appeared on “Live! with Kelly and Michael” this morning … and endured a Rapid Fire line of questions … one of which was, “Who would you pick to play each other in the movie?”

You know, the movie?

Mitt replied, “For me, my favorite actor is Gene Hackman … so I’d like Gene Hackman.” Kelly Ripa quickly shot back, “You want Gene Hackman to play YOUR WIFE!?”

Mitt laughed …and joked, “What was that movie he was in? The Birdcage?”

Don’t worry, Mitt eventually corrected himself … and picked a more appropriate star.

“MY WIFE!” – Borat. Hahaha. I think Borat should play Mitt Romney and then Borat should also play Ann Romney. And every character Mike Meyers plays in Austin Powers should be their sons. And the whole thing is shot secretly and turns out to be at once very honest and possibly damning. GREEN LIGHT! Mitt went on to say that Michelle Pfeiffer should play Ann and Ann agreed that Gene Hackman should play Mitt. Boo. Boo-ring. Actually, Michelle Pfeiffer was not a bad choice for Ann, but WE CAN DO BETTER. For example:

Mitt: Big papier-mâché face
Ann: Large, sensible, high-heeled red shoe

Mitt: Harrison Ford
Ann: Jane Fonda

Mitt: Cartoon with money eyes and evil eyebrows and a boring suit
Ann: Drawing of a woman with children looking askance at a women sitting at a desk

Mitt: Mark Duplass
Ann: Katie Aselton

Mitt: Wax figure covered in flop sweat
Ann: Ann Romney

Mitt: Vincent Gallo
Ann: Vincent Gallo

Mitt: Businessman trying his hand at acting
Ann: Mom who “used to model a bit”

Who do you think? Huh?

Comments (34)
  1. I sense a really good opportunity for Laz Rojas. He already has a good Ann:

  2. Maybe it’ll help bring them back together:

  3. Mitt Romney should play himself, since he’s going to have a lot of free time after November.

  4. Kim Kardashian & Donald Trump.

  5. How about the Tin Man plays Mitt, and that awful Christy Brinkley plays Ann?

  6. It has to be someone able play a character for whom being fully human is always just out of reach…

  7. Tyler Perry And Tyler Perry, in Tyler Perry’s “Why Did I Get Elected?”

  8. Chad Michaels as Anne Romney

  9. the dinosaurs from that Aussie’s forthcoming theme park

  10. though gargamel will need a toupee.

  11. I love Stanley Tucci and Meryl Streep, so I would definitely want them involved. By that I mean I want to see the movie with them. The movie can star lilo and chad michael murray.

    • I waved to my friend who was walking with Stanley Tucci at a benefit once. I didn’t know it was Mr. Tucci or I would have been following my friend around all night like a puppy as he was his celeb escort. But the really good part/ end to this story is that Mr. Tucci waved back and SMILED at me.

  12. Rob Lowe and Tori Spelling since it’s definitely going to be on Lifetime

  13. I couldn’t think of someone male who is patrician enough to play Mitt Romney, so I vote for Gwyneth Paltrow for both. Really though, outside of makeup, all Gwyneth would have to do is hem and haw until the Sun goes out while trying to saying he likes barbeque sauce or whatever.

  14. There is no way I can improve on “Wax figure covered in flop sweat,” “Businessman trying his hand at acting,” or “Mom who ‘used to model a bit.’” But anyway:

    Mitt: Ryan Reynolds for the early “poor” years, and in the later years, Ryan Reynolds’ callow youthfulness plastered over with Experienced Blowhard makeup.
    Ann: Rebecca Pidgeon in a blonde wig trying really hard to sound normal.

  15. I was going to say a haunted block of wood for Mitt, but maybe an evil block of wood that came from a tree that was a jerk and is haunted by a sociopath.

    Ann will be played by a talking Barbie doll that is programmed by Phyllis Schlafly. Or just Phyllis Schlafly.

  16. Wait if corporations are people, can we have corporations play them?

    Mitt: The evil corporation that is shutting down your local town’s plant and putting hundreds of people out of work… so Bain Capital?

    Ann: The Rotary Club or Jr. League (are clubs considered people?)

  17. Mitt: bag of dirty laundry
    Ann: book of secrets

  18. Leave me out of this.

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