BREAKING NEWS FROM DEADLINE HOLLYWOOD:

[Doug Ellin] says his script starts about 6 months after the TV series leaves off. “There are interesting developments about Ari as a studio head, and that’s still the first page for me. But foremost is the friendship between the guys who are still hanging out and going to fun parties, and it continues with the same characters.” Ellin has kept in touch with all the key castmembers: Jeremy Piven (“Ari”), Adrian Grenier (“Vince”), Kevin Dillon (“Drama”), and especially Kevin Connolly (“E”) and Jerry Ferrara (Turtle”) who are two of Ellin’s closest friends. Those Entourage actors have been getting other gigs while HBO has been paying Ellin for the script.

HBO brass Richard Plepler and Michael Lombardo have cautioned publicly that they’ve only heard “a very general pitch” and need to read the completed script and make deals with the cast before deciding to go forward. Ellin is optimistic. “I’m excited. I feel a lot of positive energy,” he tells me. “Everywhere I go, people ask me, ‘Where’s the movie?’”

WHERE IS THE MOVIE? EVERYONE IS ASKING THE SAME QUESTION: WHERE IS THE MOVIE? DOUG ELLIN IS AT THE GROCERY STORE: WHERE IS THE MOVIE? DOUG ELLIN IS AT THE CALF IMPLANT CLINIC: WHERE IS THE MOVIE? DOUG ELLIN IS AT THE VESPA DEALERSHIP: WHERE IS THE MOVIE? AND HERE IS ANOTHER QUESTION AMERICA WANTS THE ANSWER TO: WILL NIKKI FINKE HAVE A CAMEO IN IT? OH YEAH! THIS JUMP IS SPONSORED BY BOTTEGA VENETA:

The Entourage feature will have similar Hollywood send-ups and snark which have been missing from the HBO sked but also from the TV landscape in general. That’s because it’s tough to write a good showbiz sitcom or dramedy or 120-minute motion picture. Certainly Entourage had its ups and downs quality-wise. I was mixed in my assessment over the years, alternately castigating it for not showing the down and dirty Hollywood, and occasionally praising it for less predictability and more realism. But with the Jewish High Holy Days coming, I’ll always recall my favorite Entourage episode: the one that had Ari doing business in the temple aisles during Yom Kippur services. (‘The Return Of The King’ was written by Ellin and Brian Burns.) And I’m grateful to Ellin for replacing Variety with Deadline Hollywood as the showbiz must-read. (That Season 6 scene was a shocker when agent Terence says to Ari Gold, “I’ll fuck Nikki Finke before I let her affect my business decisions.”) In fact, Ellin recently emailed: “I have you in a scene currently. The world wants you on camera!”

THE WORLD WANTS NIKKI FINKE ON CAMERA! THE WORLD WANTS ITS ENTOURAGE MOVIE AND IT WANTS IT RIGHT AWAY! GIVE US THE ENTOURAGE MOVIE! WE ARE GOING TO MEET AT 4PM AT THE HBO CORPORATE HEADQUARTERS AND IF WE DON’T HAVE A MOVIE BY 5PM WE WILL BURN THEM TO THE GROUND. WINTER IS COMING, OH YEAH! GIRLS!

The vast majority of Entourage fans want an R-rated movie with an abundance of broads and boobs and cameos by genuine Hollywood bigwigs as well as decent plotting and character arcs. Hopefully, Ellin has written that and more. So it’s worth repeating the warning I posted a year ago, “Goodbye Entourage as a TV series. Now just don’t come back as an embarrassingly lame movie.”

THE VAST MAJORITY OF ENTOURAGE FANS WANT AN R-RATED MOVIE WITH AN ABUNDANCE OF BROADS AND BOOBS AND CAMEOS BY GENUINE HOLLYWOOD BIGWIGS AS WELL AS DECENT PLOTTING AND CHARACTER ARCS. GET OUT OF MY MIND AND HEART AND SOUL, NIKKI FINKE. GET OUT OF MY MIND AND HEART AND SOUL AND ONTO THE ENTOURAGE MOVIE SET TO FILM YOUR CAMEO! FOR AMERICA!

Comments (21)
  1. “The vast majority of Entourage fans want an R-rated movie with an abundance of broads and boobs… as well as decent plotting and character arcs.”

    I think the vast majority of Entourage fans should probably save themselves the cost of an HBO subscription and just watch porn if that’s all they’re looking for.

  2. I bet that screenplay reads like dog shit

  3. FADE IN:

    Daytime, Vinny’s house. Turtle and Drama play video games on the couch. Vinny is smoking pot. E is somewhere else.

    TURTLE
    Yo! Did you nail that broad last night?

    DRAMA
    Yep.

    TURTLE
    Nice.

    FADE OUT.

  4. I thought I read somewhere that Party Down and Entourage were pitched for the same spot and that Entourage won out because people would rather watch escapist macho nonsense than depressing representations of Hollywood’s 99.9%. HBO clearly made the right decision as, you know, a company that makes money, but man. (Disclaimer: I’ve seen like one episode of Entourage.)

    • Thats like how Nicolas Cage was originally cast as Neo in The Matrix, but turned it down because he didn’t want to have to take the long flight to Sydney, Australia where the movie was being filmed. Except in this case the result is SO MUCH WORSE than what could have been.

      Actually, they aren’t really similar at all, I just wanted an excuse to bring up the idea of Nic Cage as Neo. “HOW IS THERE NO SPOON?! HOWISTHERENOSPOON?!!?!??”

  5. Who cares about Nikki Finke? When will Obama make his cameo? Will he be invited to the same VIP party as Vince? Will he be drinking Avion? Will he make fun of Drama??

  6. i have a feeling everything will work out in the end.

  7. I find the use of the term “character arcs” when talking about Entourage to be hilarious. Thats like talking about Lost in Translation’s epic fight scenes.

  8. Because Lars Von Trier is attached, all of the insufferable douchebaggery will be real.

  9. Oh man, sorry to break the discussion of this insanely important topic during election season. But I laughed all the way down this page. My coworkers have all been ignoring all the laughter but secretly wish they were having a good time like me IN DA OFFICE!

  10. Wait, what are we mailing to HBO to make sure this goes off? Are we going with Axe? Stuffed turtles? Aquaman dolls? COUPONS TO WAHLBURGERS? Guys we have to get this campaign on track!

  11. Where else is there to take the story line? I mean turtle is now SUPER RICH!!!! WHO CARES

  12. Maybe this is just my unattractive habit of apologizing constantly, but I feel like the universe is mad at me personally and taking it out on the rest of the world when I read about stuff like this. So, sorry, I guess.

    Also, of course “schedule” was abbreviated to “sked”. That just fits.

  13. Why’d they decide to start with a screenplay this time?

  14. SPOILER ALERT
    Scott Caan.

  15. How exciting! A crappy tv show now has a screen play that will be adapted into a crappy movie! REJOICE!

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.