Have you guys watched any of Bravo’s Gallery Girls? I watched the first two episodes last night and HOLY MOLY those girls! Just awful! When you watch a cobbled-together “reality” show you do kind of want everyone to be awful, but this show was just too much. Object of Beauty did not prepare me for this gritty look at NYC’s art world. That horrible girl with the face, not to be a bitch, but do you know who I mean? Give me a break, that girl! What a nightmare. Anyway, Bravo has developed another very good idea for Women, and this time it’s a scripted reboot of HEATHERS! Oh! From The Hollywood Reporter:

Bravo is continuing its push into original scripted programming, adding five dramas into its development pipeline including a reboot of 1980s cult movie Heathers.

The NBCUniversal-owned network, as part of its goal to have original scripted fare on the air next year, is redeveloping Heathers, the 1988 Winona Ryder and Christian Slater feature that The Big C’s Jenny Bicks and Sony Pictures Television initially sold to Fox three years ago.

In the updated take, Heathers picks up 20 years later, with Veronica (Ryder’s character) returning home to Sherwood with her teenage daughter, who must contend with the next generation of mean girls: the Ashleys: the daughters of the surviving Heathers.

Whatever, really. Nothing is precious anymore, let alone Heathers, and I’m sure it will be just perfect, but I DO think they missed an opportunity to do another “reality” version of a fictional work. Like NYC Prep, television’s most successful show, was to Gossip Girl. But. WHATEVER. Only one question remains (I guess): Who is going to play the Ashleys?! Multiple digital recreations of the Olsens? All of the Gallery Girls? Whoever voiced “The Ashleys” on Recess? The Spice Girls? Me and Gabe? WHO WILL TAKE THIS IMPORTANT ROLE?

Comments (34)
  1. i think Vincent Gallo could do a mean “Old Christian Slater”

  2. More importantly, what is the purpose of Bravo? Who is all this for? Like I find E! to be complete garbage (except for their weekly (daily?) showings of Knocked Up), but I at least get the function it serves. I just picture the people who work for Bravo constantly having to reassure themselves that their work is indeed valuable and not a complete waste of everyone’s time.

    • I was in high school in the 90s and we didn’t have cable. I’d read the tv guide and saw that Bravo would be showing all these cool foreign films and think “Oh, it would be so comfy and convenient if I could watch this airing of ‘The Double Life of Veronique’ right now instead of going to rent it at the video store.”

      I grew up on Long Island with all these loud meatnecks and at the time Bravo appeared to be some cultural escape from that, but now Bravo is just emblematic of loud meatnecks. So weird how it became opposite-land like that!

  3. Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw

  4. How about Gabe and Kelly as The Ashleys from Recess as The Ashleys in the Heathers reboot?

  5. Why doesn’t Hollywood just reboot the entire 80s, divvy up the proceeds, then call it a day so we can get back to Farmville 2?

  6. Andy Serkis.

  7. Why not get all of the original Heathers to play the new Ashleys and Benjamin Button all of ‘em?

  8. Why not just rerun the original ‘Heathers’ and call it a day?

  9. I love my dead gay married son!

  10. Gallery Girls is a crowning achievement in profiling human garbage. Kelly, if earth is cursed with season 2, I demand you recap it!

  11. I think Honey Boo Boo’s mom should play Martha Dumptruck

  12. Jack Black & one of the Wayans brothers (actually, just let both of the Wayans brothers in there and just have them “tag” in indiscriminately. No one will notice/care). Also, Eddie Murphy & Martin Lawrence should play the mothers (Heathers).

  13. I guess the original movie was a waste of time then, seems like those Heathers didn’t learn their lesson at all and taught their daughters to be the same way too.

  14. Why hasn’t anyone mentioned that 3 of the Heathers DIE in the film – how did they manage to have offspring?! This plot makes no sense for that simple fact alone! Gah, just when you think Bravo has reached its awfulness peak!

  15. are kids even named Ashley anymore?

  16. Excuse me as I go gouge my eyes out before they take a big steamy shit all over the memory of my favorite movie from high school. Dirty bastards deserve to be blown up.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.