While most of us agree that all pranks big dumb wastes of everyone’s time and consistently steal from us the small amount of trust we’ve developed in their fellow humans, this one from “famous YouTube prankster” (quite possibly the worst string of words you can ever work towards having come before your name) Rémi really TAKES THE CAKE! What a jerk, this guy. Now all the lettuce is on the floor, ruined. And for what? WHAT IS THE JOKE EVEN? That you’re in a turtle costume? That you ruined a man’s day? That we’re listening to loud music while you do it? THAT YOU MADE US SO MAD AND WE DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU? Terrible. What a jerk. Pranks are the worst. This guy sucks. Pay for your lettuce. (Via ViralViral.)

Comments (12)
  1. Wow. That was even shittier than I thought it was going to be.

  2. That was terrible, but he’s still only the 2nd worst turtle.

  3. What an insufferable asshole.

  4. He must have had a driver with a getaway car waiting for him, like bank robbers, I bet. If it was me, and I realized what he’d just done, I would have left him there as soon as he bumbled out of the store. Well, whoever was behind the wheel of that dude’s getaway car must be totally oblivious to jerks.

  5. Lettuce do pranks as bad as our puns

  6. If I was there in that store, I would have helped that poor store guy who fell down defending his lettuce. You go store guy! I’m sure management really appreciates your loyalty!

  7. The prank is that turtles are very conscientious and would never steal unless they had done a long moral accounting as to whether or not it would be acceptable to steal if they HAD TO DO IT to feed their family, and also that being so conscientious a turtle on roller skates would be wearing knee pads.

  8. The French version of Jackass is way shittier.

  9. Somewhere along the line we’ve lost sight of what a prank actually is. Even assuming you LIKE pranks (I don’t like pranks), a prank does not equal acting like a destructive idiot. There’s no punch line. The turtle can’t turn around and say “hey, I didn’t actually knock-a down your lettuce!” (I imagine him talking like Mario for some reason). Because he DID in fact knock down the lettuce. And even if he cleaned it up, who’s laughing. Please tag this #notaprankyoufuckingdick

  10. Holy shit, this guy. How is this a prank? How is this not just straight-up vandalism (or theft, since I guess the goal was to get out of the store with an armload of lettuce)?

    Where is this guy when you need him?

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