One thing that is just so gross about having to live every single day of your life is having to eat. Like, having to make or buy something to eat, put it in your mouth, CHEW IT?, and then swallow it into your body, and then YOU KNOW WHAT IT OUT INTO A YOU KNOW WHAT. It’s hard to believe that it is the year 2012 and no one has solved the problem of wanting a taste in your mouth but not wanting anything else in there. I mean, sure, we have Warheads Extreme Sour Spray and that’s pretty close, but you’re still swallowing a fair amount of liquid with that. I don’t know. It’s like sometimes I don’t even know why molecular gastronomy exists when the medium is so often stuck in the past of actually having to chew something before you get to taste it all the way. I’m no chef, for sure — and I’m certainly no MOLECULAR chef — so I can’t really instruct anyone on how to do it but, on the other hand, that’s not my job. My job is to point out the problem. Your job (you meaning people who make food) is to figure out how we can all eat without ever ingesting anything or feeling any gross food feels in our mouths. Can’t anyone do it? How about you, chefs in Ottawa in this local news report about it? Can you do it?

Wait YOU AREN’T CHARGING FOR THE AIR? What about the soup that you make the air out of, what do you do with the leftover soup? Can I have the soup? WHO GETS THE SOUP? Crazy how we went through this whole news video and no one ever asked what they do with the soup parts that aren’t turned into a cloud. Please get back to me about the soup. (Thanks for the tip, Fondue Cheddar!)

Comments (16)
  1. Canadians. Go figure. Go eat your air poutine up north, we don’t want it here! Boooo air poutine!

  2. I bet that’s just pot. Very clever, Canadians!

  3. This is actually very interesting stuff. #nerd

  4. “It’s a bit of culinary alchemy.”

    No.

  5. Somewhere, Steve Jobs is so pissed he never thought of storing flavors on The Cloud.

  6. Oh, news people and the way they talk to us like we’re all idiots. “Take a SIP…of a STEAK!”

    “You have to TASTE IT…to BELIEVE IT AAAAAH WE HATE YOU STUPID JERKS WHO WATCH OUR VERY INFORMATIVE NEWS SHOW.”

    “Inhale it…THROUGH A STRAW! You anorexic FUCKERS.”

  7. man, people are stupid.

  8. I would make some pithy joke, but wasting food kind of pisses me off. Where’s that skeptical third world kid meme?

  9. “This tastes exactly as good as being thin feels!!” – some jerk somewhere, probably Pintarest.

  10. I was waiting for the chef to get air-slimed

  11. But what happens when it starts raining? So many ruined slacks.

  12. OK, Chefs, stop making believe you know any science. You don’t know any science. You went to catering school because you hated science.

    Lets just rename “molecular gastronomy” to “cooking with industrial food additives and messed-up expensive gimmicks”. And can the xanthan gum in the $CAN 90 “mushroom risotto mousse”, you fucks.

  13. “An aerosol that sprays particles of dark chocolate into your mouth”

    That was a really unfortunate time to use the only footage they had of a black man.

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