Should the perfectly normal, none-of-our-business, private life of a celebrity ever be considered “news”? Like, is it “news” when two celebrities we will never even meet break up? Is it “news” when two famous strangers get married to each other? I don’t know. Who can tell? But let me follow up that question with this question: Is it “news” when your HEART GETS TRAMPLED ON AND THE PLAN YOU HAD FOR YOUR LIFE GETS COMPLETELY RUINED AND IT ALL HAPPENS TOTALLY OUT OF THE BLUE AND YOU JUST DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH IT RIGHT NOW? IS THAT “NEWS”?! From People:

It’s been nearly a year since they were first publicly linked – and now Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds are husband and wife.

Noooooooooooo!!

A source confirms to PEOPLE that the couple tied the knot Sunday night at Boone Hall Plantation in Mt. Pleasant, S.C., just outside of Charleston.

The reception took place in a white tent at the plantation on Sunday evening. Florence Welch (of Florence and the Machine), a good friend of the Gossip Girl star, performed three songs live, and there was also a deejay who spun tunes. PEOPLE also confirmed that a cake was being driven down from Virginia for the event.

Driven in from Virginia. I guess if you’re going to break our hearts Blake Lively and/or Ryan Reynolds, you might as well go all out and get a cake from whatever the hell state you want to. No, no — don’t hold back on our behalf. We’ll be fine. You could’ve given us some warning, maybe let it leak to us first through a friend of a friend, but I understand that you’re busy right now. Busy being in love WITH EACH OTHER. Makes me sick, really. So callous.

Comments (18)
  1. Poor Ryan Reynolds. He tried to steal Jason Lee’s persona, before he knew what a bad idea that would turn out to be.

  2. If her family was there, that means TEEN WITCH was there and that entire ceremony was way too funky for any of us.

  3. This isn’t heartbreaking. The Arnett-Poehler split is heartbreaking. :(

  4. Exclusive footage of Penn Badgley reading about his ex’s nuptials for the first time:

  5. i heard it was a rather bland, if un-even affair, as only about a quarter the guests were lively.

  6. This is why I’m a polygamist.

  7. Something about getting married on a plantation just screams, “Intense Whiteness and Lax Caring.”

  8. Does this bring us any closer to finding out the identity of you-know-who?

  9. This will be very upsetting for all those people who are still mistaking Ryan Reynolds for Ryan Gosling, and upon reading this news exclaim “Well…at least Ryan Gosling’s still single” but then later the sad truth is revealed, and no, it turns out, ‘Ryan Gosling’ is no longer single.

  10. dammit reynolds quit marrying all the princesses. you are no prince.

  11. also when the ring went on he was all

  12. On a side note, I’ll bet all of the Entertainment Weekly profiles of Blake Lively are titled “Steppin’ Lively!”

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