In March of this year, we were introduced to the Cheetah — the world’s fasted robot, running at a speed of 18MPH. “Hey, that seems a bit like a recipe for Robot Uprising disaster,” everyone thought. “We should stop making these maybe.” “At least it’s not faster than the fastest human, but it’s still faster than most humans and what if they become sentient and chase after everyone because of how we’re killing the Earth or something?” But now, mere months later, some scientists with a death wish/robot death fetish have made the Cheetah robot EVEN FASTER! So fast that it IS FASTER THAN THE FASTEST HUMAN! From Wired:

The world record for the 100 meter dash was set in 2009 by sprinter Usain Bolt, who averaged 23.35 mph during his run for a time of 9.58 seconds. Over one 20-meter stretch, he managed to get up to 27.78 mph. It was a pretty impressive feat.

The Cheetah — a quadrupedal machine built by master roboteers Boston Dynamics and backed by Darpa, the Defense Department’s far-out research division — not only topped Bolt’s record-setting time. It also beat its previous top speed of 18 mph, set just a half-year ago.

What. The. FUCK. DARPA!

Perfect. Do you know if fast running robots can exist in dreams? Let me go to sleep forever and then I’ll let you know when I see you in post-life. Goodnight! I’m outta here! (Via Wired.)

Comments (12)
  1. I think that not naming this thing “Usain Nuts and Bolts” was a missed opportunity.

  2. in the robot olympics, will medals be made out of people?

  3. I can’t tell if that headless robot running abomination is genuinely terrifying or absolutely ridiculous. Kind of like Janice Dickinson.

  4. I suspect this was actually the work of Decoy Octopus, posing as the head of DARPA.

  5. Aren’t cars kinda robots? If yes, then the car is the fastest robot.

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