Photographs don’t always offer a perfect recreation of the thing they’re portraying, which can be both a good and a bad thing. Maybe you have a pimple and the combination of taking the photo with your not-so-good phone camera and the carefully chosen Instagram filter make it look like you have no pimple at all. Or maybe you have put on about 15 pounds or whatever and you don’t want your long-distance girlfriend or boyfriend to notice, so you take a bunch of photos and decide to send them the one in which you look the skinniest. And then they’re like, “Have you lost weight??? You need to eat!!!!!!!!” And you’re like, “Aww, stop worrying about me! I’m fine!” But also it can be true that photographs can make something look so much worse, like if you get caught in some bad lighting, or if you are about to sneeze, or if your face just looks weird for a second, or if you’re at a concert or something and your seats actually aren’t that bad and you try to get a picture of the stage but then for whatever reason the picture makes it look like your seats ARE really pretty bad, and your friends are like, “Yeah, I bet Beck didn’t look like an ant to you the whole time.” And you’re like, “HE DIDNT’!!!!!!” In this case, though, with this photograph of Nick Nolte riding a bumper car — I’m sure that the photograph is exactly correct. This is definitely what this looks like. It is perfect. Full-size Nick Nolte riding a bumper car after the jump. (Via RatsOff!)

Comments (18)
  1. I hope he remembers to get a Lorenzo’s Oil change very 3000 bumps.

  2. What kind of bumper car is that? A Kia? I have this strange urge to slam into a Kia over and over again.

  3. I imagine him making very guttural, throaty, Nick-Nolte-sounding noises here, like “Yrrrrrrggghhhhh-GOD. DAMN IT. YRRRRRRRGH” and those are just his happy-noises.

  4. Preparing for a sequel to Down and Out in Beverly Hills?

  5. Sidebar: I couldn’t have been the only person who thought McNulty’s name was Nick Nolte for like the first 2 seasons of the Wire, right? “Why do they keep saying his whole name every time? Why did that person just call him Jimmy?” I had a whole other level of suspicious conspiracies going on while I watched it.

  6. Holy crap!

    He looks like he ate all the other bumper car riders in some sort of twisted version of that scene in Cool Hand Luke.

    • No man can eat 50 bumper car riders.

      • I see your skepticism, and raise you this picture taken the day before…

        It was either 50 bumper car riders, or 50 corndogs, and I think we all know what is more likely.

    • At pub quiz last night one of the questions was what is the world record for Fererro Rochers eaten in one minute, and did you know that it’s only 7???? I feel like that number is very low?? Once all the Valentine’s Day chocolates go on sale I’m going to put this to the test.

      • That seems CRAZY low. I could beat that. I don’t know the world record for saltine crackers eaten in one minute, but the Facetaco record is 11. Bring on the Rochers!

  7. He has been wearing that hat from 1945 since 1982.

  8. To answer Gabe’s question from a few weeks ago, Shrek is real.


Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.