Although there is no video evidence yet of the incredible public marriage proposal you’ll soon learn about, it seems like our currently flawless (I’m sure) record of covering every single one that ever happens would be ruined if we didn’t mention it, because OH MY GOODNESS. Read this. From The Sun:

Oddball Alexey Bykov hired a movie director, stuntmen, make-up artists, and even a script writer to stage the bogus motor smash. The 30-year-old then planned for girlfriend Irena Kolokov to meet him at the crash site so she would be convinced he was dead. …

“Then when I saw Alexey covered in blood lying in the road, a paramedic told me he was dead and I just broke down in tears.” But then “dead” Alexey climbed to his feet and proposed to Irena – still covered in fake blood.

Luckily for Alexey, she saw the joke, said yes – and the couple were married last week.

Alexey, from Omsk, Russia, said: “I wanted her to realise how empty her life would be without me and how life would have no meaning without me.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Luckily there is photographic evidence of this very sweet and definitely not horrifying and terrible and scary and oh-my-goodness-grrrrrrrrrl-get-out-of-there proposal, and it is just DYING (hahaha) to be captioned. Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monster’s Ball, and the ability to say “no” to any nightmare proposal from a crazy person they want. (Photo via Gawker.)

Comments (59)
  1. “I wanted her to realise how empty her life would be without me and how life would have no meaning without me.” – spoken like a true abusive (future) husband.

  2. “Makes sense to me” -John Hinckley, Jr.

  3. This is actually a pretty shrewd marriage proposal because if she is hella relieved to see your dead body and says something like “phew at least now I can get an upgrade”, you at least can save yourself the embarrassment of going through with the proposal.

  4. How much do you want to bet that the movie director hired was M. Night Shyamalan?

    • Spoiler: Alexey Bykov was a douchebag all along.

    • The Twist: They were already in a loveless marriage the whole time.

    • Heavy-handed directorial flourish that the entire audience found grating: The red overalls foreshadowed the “accident” all along.

      And there you were sitting smugly in your theater seat saying, “Those red overalls look fucking ridiculous.” But then M. Night just regulated on your ass. That’s why he’s M. Night and you’re just some pathetic p.o.s. commenting on a blog/social messaging site tangentially related to visual media.

  5. Pfew. I was worried it would be another goddamn flash mob.

  6. You know it’s true love when a man is willing to destroy his favorite pair of red overalls for you.

  7. Still from Russian Movie Classics’ (RMC) “The Walking Dead” remake Семейная жизнь (“The Married Life”).

  8. Simpsons did it first!

  9. “I don’t care if your left arm is a giant piece of corn. Will you marry me?” – red overallz

  10. Wait, this worked? Does anyone have James McAvoy’s phone number? I have to fake my own death, then ask him a question real quick.

  11. I take thee to be my lawful wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for worse, for poorer, in sickness, till my accidental death pretending to be dead do part.

  12. Where’s Pussy Riot when you need them?

    Oh…right.

  13. sounds like he went to great PAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIINS to make it happen!

  14. Those Russians have the weirdest sense of humor!

  15. catering by taco bell!

  16. i heard his bachelor party was a real pussy riot.

  17. I would have waited to see what she said at my funeral before popping out of the casket and popping the question. #LongCon

  18. after the big reveal and he popped the question, the bride to be asked, “Where do you get your ideas?”

  19. Romeo & Juliet was this close to a happy ending.

  20. “Hey, Kevin. Didja hear about this guy in Russia who faked his own death as part of an elaborate marriage proposal? Funny, usually guys wait to fake their own deaths AFTER they get married!” — Jay Leno

    “Ha! Ha! You right, Jay. You right.” — Kevin Eubanks

  21. I guess that’s what happens when you get a mail-order Russian oddball husband.

  22. “What an asshole.”

  23. “And that’s why you always accept my marriage proposals.”

  24. This wedding is going to be AWESOME!

  25. The dowry included a wreath, a burial plot, and named her executrix the estate.

  26. If you want my love, you’ll have to urn it!

  27. In America you have wedding crashers. In Russia weddings crash you!

  28. “Make the gauze doo-rag a permanent thing, and you got yourself a fiance.”

    When I started reading this post, I was thinking, “That’s pretty fucked up, right there.” But then I got to his justification, and I thought, “He’s kinda got a point.”

  29. No, wait, my real caption is:

    “Just be thankful I didn’t fake my own death in front of 60,000 people at a football stadium.”

  30. Honey, they’re playing our song, “Atrocity Exhibition”!

  31. Their first dance was to ‘Revolution 9,” backwards.

  32. FROM DEATH DO WE START

  33. I had a weird dream the other night about a futuristic world. I had to get to a concert in Chicago for some reason. I went, and my girlfriend and I went into a French restaurant. She didn’t want to eat under the grizzly bear, so we went to the hotel. When we got on the elevator and went up, we emerged onto a different (“futuristic”) world. It was dark. There was a company meeting in the far corner. The whole room looked like darkness, but every time I took a step, a stair would automagically appear in front of me. So I ran. We never made the concert. And I live two days drive from Chicago.

    Juxtaposition wins hearts!

    I think?

  34. “Oh man, I can’t wait to show the world (and particularly Videogum.com) how I’ve managed to combine two of the best things in the world– public wedding proposals and PRANKS– in the absolute best optimum fashion!”

  35. Him: “Quit Stalin” Her: “You’re really Putin me on the spot!” Everyone reading this: Why are you being so Volga.

    Don’t applaud, really – it diminishes us both.

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