I can hardly believe that it has been almost a full year since we first got news that Hollywood would be remaking Scarface and there is still not even a hint of a new Scarface movie anywhere on Earth. Ugh. That is just like Hollywood to announce and then sit on a brilliant idea. What are we supposed to do in the meantime? Watch the OLD Scarface, like we’re in some retirement home in Heaven? GET TO WORK! Luckily there is one woman possibly thinking some Scarface stuff through, says a source from The Sun. And that woman is Rihanna:

The singer is after a part in a remake of her favourite film Scarface.

She wants the role of hard-partying Elvira Hancock, originally played by Michelle Pfeiffer, who she has described as having “ridiculous swagger”.

Universal Pictures are developing a new take on the Al Pacino classic, with a Tony Montana-style drug dealer in the 21st Century.

A source said: “Rihanna loves Scarface. Some of her music videos have been based on Michelle’s character, Elvira. “She knows all the words and even has her walk perfected.”

Unfortunately while knowing all of the words is always a huge plus in getting an acting reboot gig, the gossip piece already noted that the Scarface remake is going to be a “new take” and will probably feature different words so WHY ARE YOU WASTING YOUR AND ALL OF OUR TIME, RIHANNA? That aside, the perfected walk still definitely counts, so I’d like to open up the floor to discussion: Should Rihanna play the Michelle Pfeiffer part in the new take on Scarface that we may never see in our entire lives because they are taking forever to make it for some reason I will never understand? I say YES YES YES! Either Rihanna or Robyn or Lizzy Caplan or Maude Apatow, if its appropriate. Any of those would be fine, but no one else. What do you think? Same?

Comments (33)
  1. If everyone potentially involved love the original, why are they trying to remake it

    (Yes, duh, the answer is $$$, but still, I loved Star Wars as a kid but it’s not my dream to play Luke Skywalker in a remake with Rihanna as Princess Leia.)

  2. I hope Dangerous Minds Michelle Pfeiffer is the next Michelle Pfeiffer role she takes

  3. The Pacino Scarface is already a remake. This is getting a little silly.

    On the other hand, at this rate they’ll be remaking the newest remake in a couple of years, so if Rihanna doesn’t get this one she has a pretty good chance of catching it on it’s next spin around.

    • In a world where we had The Rock in a sequel to a prequel to a sequel to a remake starring Brendan Fraser, NOTHING is too ridiculous.

      • I fucking love everything associated with the Mummy movies and make zero apologies for owning the Scorpion King.

      • Wait, are you making fun of The Mummy franchise or Journey franchise? Because The Mummy and its pals are absolutely great. Journey to the Center of the Earth is also great. Mysterious Island? Not so much.

        • Your liberal use of the term “great” is making me question whether I can regard anything that you say as credible, although I couldn’t pick a specific Brendan Fraser film out of a line-up of Brendan Fraser films (aren’t they all just versions of Encino Man? Look confusedly at the camera, grunt incoherently, deliver groan-inducing punchline, save girl, fight bad guy who we all thought was defeated the first time, win girl who was initially chilly to the idea of making out with Brendan Fraser, roll credits with terrible movie theme)

  4. Based on her abilities in Battleship, the only role Rihanna would be capable of playing in the new Scarface is a suitcase of cocaine.

  5. I thought Blow or <American Gangster was the “new take” on Scarface.

    • Yikes! What happened?! I thought I inserted the italics correctly. Jeez, what a day. #whitepeopleproblems

    • Blow and American Gangster were real people though!

    • Yeah, but we need one with semi-literate anti-heroes struggling through convoluted plot sequences (replete with dance-offs, club fights, and car chases featuring a representative of every race and ethnicity [and hard-talking driver chicks]) in which Rihanna gets to play an emaciated victim of domestic abuse who is looking for an avenue toward emancipation. Wait, they could just produce a Chris Brown “reality” show.

  6. I think Rihanna should play Michelle Pfeiffer in the Scarface remake. Maybe have a movie premiere on TV and the announcer can say “and there goes Michelle Pfeiffer!” as Rihanna walks by.

    Either that, or she can play Michelle’s part from the old movie in the new movie. Everyone else has new dialogue and the plot is different, but she’s still the same.

    I have so many ideas! How about Rihanna plays the Ventriloquist in the next Batman reboot!!! His dummy was named Scarface. She can even say “say hello to my little friend” just like we know she does once a week in real life. This is so much fun.

  7. Oh see, I hadn’t even heard of Rihanna before. I mean, I have, but I never paid attention to her in any way, I guess because I’m awful. Being awful seems to explain why I am the way I am (which is awful). All the more overwhelming evidence that there are just far too many people on this planet (Earth). Why haven’t we colonized the moon yet? We already have moon pie, moon gin, what’s the holdup?

    • WE HAVE MOON PIE????!!!!!

      • Sorry I didn’t mean to yell. Are you saying we have Moon Pie?

        • I am saying we have moon pie. We also put a little flag on the moon, to let the rest of the solar system know it’s ours now because of dibs and suck it, Russia, that’s OUR moon, and then we made moon pie and we wash our moon pie with moon gin and we were supposed to make hobbit holes in the moon to live in but we never did because we human beings as a species are an embarrassment to the universe we occupy and even lizard people are better than us and it’s time we all find a NEW universe, where we can enjoy moon pie and appreciate the original remake of Scarface and be content with never knowing who Rihanna is.

  8. “I’m in talks to play the little friend.”

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  10. I love younger men. I have dated only men at least 5 years younger and as much as 10 years younger than me for many years. I love the energy and a nice tight bod. Older men just aren’t the same, different mentality. I seem to have more in common with younger guys. They’re actually more fun and are usually more interested in me. I’m flattered. I think younger men like cougars because they have no agenda, don’t usually want to get married and are usually very independent and don’t need a man to take care of them. I meet younger men on the site namd Co ugarkiss

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