Kelly: Hey, Gabe!
Gabe: hey kelly!
Gabe: what’s up?
Kelly: Nothing! Just heated up coffee from before, about to have some. What’s up with you?
Gabe: oh that’s really cool
Kelly: Not anymore!!!!!!
Kelly: hahahaa
Gabe: LOL BARF
Gabe: LOLOLOBOLOLAOLOLORLOLOLF
Kelly: hahahahahaha ahhh can’t stop laughing ahahhaa
Gabe: so great
Gabe: this is fun!
Kelly: I know it’s so great that you can chat with friends online
Gabe: nothing much going on here
Gabe: just trying to narrow down
Gabe: my invite list for the Seth MacFarlane episode of SNL viewing party guest list
Gabe: so far i’ve got myself
Kelly: fun
Gabe: and a gun with one bullet in it

Kelly: WHOA! Gabe, relax
Kelly: It’s going to be hilarious
Kelly: But you should probably get those invites out quick because I’m sure your party will have a lot of party competition
Kelly: And the gun with one bullet in it is going to be in high demand
Kelly: Oh speaking of television
Gabe: yes?
Kelly: Kim Kardashian said something interesting about it recently
Gabe: i *bet* she did
Kelly: She said that reality television is like rap
Kelly: Because when rap first came out people didn’t understand it
Kelly: But now it’s here to stay
Kelly: Just like reality television
Kelly: Pretty interesting theory!
Gabe: i mean, i guess she’s right
Gabe: insofar as everything is like everything
Gabe: you can literally compare anything to anything else
Kelly: Right
Gabe: i have a confession to make, though
Gabe: which is that i love Keeping up with the Kardashians

Gabe: i have only seen a couple of episodes
Gabe: and uh, IT’S THE BEST
Kelly: hahah
Kelly: I have never seen it!!
Gabe: that family is American Royalty as far as I am concerned
Gabe: it’s really good
Gabe: everyone is just always stressed out about, like
Gabe: the opening of a restaurant
Gabe: just losing their shit
Gabe: and at the end of every episode someone has to apologize to someone else for hurting their feelings
while sitting by the pool
Gabe: Bruce Jenner is always having his feelings hurt
Gabe: the last episode I saw, Rob was upset because he missed an important deadline and now he didn’t know if his SOCK LINE was going to be ready to launch at Gadzooks this fall or something
Kelly: Hahah. Well, it sounds great from your description.
Kelly: I will say that I certainly don’t have a problem, like some do, with them all being “famous for being famous.”
Kelly: Because who has the energy first of all
Kelly: And second of all people are so mean to them
Kelly: And they have a TV show that so many people watch
Gabe: right
Gabe: who has the energy to get mad about TV?

Gabe: not only that, but a basic cable TV reality show
Gabe: let it go
Gabe: if ever the expression “pick your battles” meant something
Kelly: Honestly
Kelly: And they’re apparently good at what they’re doing, creating garbage that everybody cannot get enough of!
Kelly: So, enough
Kelly: Oh also Kim said that she wants to get a star on the hollywood walk of fame because she heard someone say one time that no reality star ever would
Kelly: What do you think about that, Gabe
Gabe: hahahhaha
Gabe: breaking down those important barriers
Gabe: the pavement ceiling
Gabe: that so many women in reality tv
Gabe: have struggled under
Kelly: mmhm
Kelly: Very brave
Kelly: I know that I don’t want to live in a world where a reality TV star cannot have her name on the hollywood walk of fame
Gabe: also, of COURSE kim kardashian would want to get a star on the hollywood walk of fame
Gabe: have you seen that thing?
Gabe: it should honestly be called the Hollywood Walk of Garbage

Gabe: what a nightmare
Kelly: hahaha
Kelly: TELL ME WHAT YOU REALLY THINK ABOUT IT!
Gabe: you sound like my mom
Gabe: when we chat about the hollywood walk of fame
Gabe: also that thing is pretty long, you never know where you will get your star
Gabe: it could be in front of grauman’s chinese theater BUT
Gabe: it could also be in front of a Rite Aid on a side street
Kelly: As long as your name is somewhere on the street in a star for people to walk on forever and ever and ever
Kelly: It hardly matters where
Kelly: Also don’t you have to pay like a billion dollars for it?
Kelly: Like $50,000 or something. I don’t know what it is. Someone nominates you and then you get to pay a lot of money?
Gabe: well, that’s no problem
Gabe: kim can just launch a new line of
Gabe: plastic underwear or whatever
Gabe: scented plastic underwear
Kelly: hahah
Kelly: “That’s hot” – Paris Hilton
Gabe: hahahaha
Kelly: Well good luck to her
Gabe: yes
Kelly: Reach for the stars because even if you miss them you will still be on the ground
Gabe: i hope all her dreams come true
Gabe: i hope she gets her name on a sidewalk
Gabe: and that she proves to the world
Gabe: that reality TV is our most important resource
Gabe: after sports cars and butts

Comments (15)
  1. can i come to the viewing too?

  2. Whoops, Kim. Judge Judy beat you by about six years.

    #yourdreamsarerenderedmoot

  3. When I read “She said that reality television is like rap.” I literally LOLed for a good minute. From now on, whenever I’m feeling down, I’m just going to think of that sentence.

  4. “There’s a prejudice against the medium of [reality television]…It’s like Sammy Davis, Jr., at the Sands. Everyone recognized that he was a great entertainer and an enormous talent, but, you know: Stay out of the casino.“ As long as we’re comparing everything and everything, how about Kim Kardashian and the lovely Seth MacFarlane?

  5. Reality TV and rap are a lot alike in that I don’t like either of them.

  6. I don’t want to live in a world where Kim Kardashian has a star and Laszlo Panaflex doesn’t.

  7. They should give kim one just to create more fighting on the show.

  8. To be fair, her sex tape was pretty good. It too was like rap because she did a lot of beat boxing.

  9. Gabe made up Keeping Up With The Kardashians, right? That was a joke, wasn’t it?

  10. You know, it’s a good question, the question of why do i get so angry about these awful people and the fact that they’re famous and rich and constantly validated for being horrible, shallow people…and the thing that I keep coming back to is that the problem with these people is that a LOT of people look to them as examples of how to live their lives. You know, like little girls who think releasing a sex tape will make you famous or respected. I mean, if the Kardashians did not exist, Courtney Stodden might not be famous. That’s not too much of a stretch, right? So how do you raise girls to respect themselves, and boys to respect women for anything other than a sex object when Kim Kardashian is a fucking product of a sex and exposure obsessed society?

    Also she made millions of dollars on a sham wedding when so many people don’t even have the fucking right to get married all because she didn’t think it through or respect marriage in a way that practically rubbed it in the face of any gay partnership that can’t make it official. That alone makes her an awful person.

  11. Wow, I had forgotten that Gadzooks was a thing.

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