THERE ARE PEOPLE DYING OUT HERE ON THESE STREETS!
How will she ever get Mark Ruffalo’s inside jokes now?
Wait, how do you get $50k in debt at a hotel. The last hotel I stayed at pretty much took my parents as collateral until I settled my bill, and it was only $300. Yiksers.
I know! Even staying at a hotel on Boardwalk only costs $2000!
Except maybe in Celebrity Monopoly, which has outrageous prices but you don’t actually have to pay if you don’t really want to. Also, it’s much less common to go to jail, and you only have to stay there for one turn, whether you roll doubles or not. And when you get Chance or Community Chest cards, they can have good or bad things, but either way, you just get more money.
You guys, we gotta make this game a reality. Celebrity Monopoly. Let’s start a Kicktsarter. This thing will be sold at Spencer’s Gift Stores nationwide!
I’d rather invest and see dividends when the money rolls in. Wait, what are my kickstarter options?
Donate $5000, you always get to be the banker. Donate $10000, you always get to play as the car.
I want to play as the dog.
You can’t afford it.
“She’s lucky the minibar charges were only $3,145.07. I’ve spent double on a pack of peanuts at the DoubleTree!!!” – a bad comedian (a. k. a. me)
Fortunately, she knows a place that will always leave the light on for her.
A red light?
The good news is she’s still more than welcome at Chateau Marmot
Ok this isn’t that big of a deal. I have seen (read: endured) Somewhere, and I have to say that the Chateau Marmont is a really boring place.
“Somewhere… else” – Chateau Marmont to Lindsay Lohan
and thus preventing her from pulling a Belushi.
Oh no, now Terry Richardson can’t include her in his photo shoots anymore. Noooo Who will he get to stare directly at the camera while wearing his glasses and giving a thumbs up in her stead?
Courtney Stodden? Oh crap… I think I just made myself sick.
This is good for me because it will probably cut the car accidents on Sunset by 50% and do wonders for my commute. Now all we have to do is wrangle Amanda Bynes and then I’m home free.
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