Kids these days with their dedication to living life to the fullest and creating their own fun. I’m sick of it! Whatever happened to sitting around in the dark and waiting for death to take you? Huh? When I was a kid we didn’t make ourselves hoarse screaming with glee as we rode a homemade Goonies-style waterslides through a massive drainage pipe in a beautiful and secluded oasis over and over again with all of our beautiful friends, OK? We ate Arby’s at the mall alone, threw a penny in the fountain to make our wish that our rashes would clear up, and then we went home and we WENT TO SLEEP. These guys don’t get it. And I will say the same thing that I said about the rope swing that these same people made that was TOO BIG: how are you going to have a two and a half minute video of this nature and not show even one person’s head get sliced off by some low-hanging corrugated metal, or at least getting their arm-pinned underneath an unmovable boulder for a few days? You gotta take some good with the bad in this world! They cheated the Angel of Bummers and now he is going to Final Destination their next chill hang. (Via TheHIghDefinite.)

Comments (37)
  1. Same people probably made this:

  2. DON’T EVEN WORRY! Wide angle lenses exaggerate movement, so I’m sure they were going a lot slower than it appeared, which means it was probably really boring. Really boring to be having totally carefree summer days with a bunch of similarly beautiful people doing whatever they want… really. boring.

    • After the initial jealous rage over “who are these beautiful young people that get to have more fun that anyone else who ever lived and why doesn’t anything ever go wrong for them” I noticed that it’s basically just a short, straight gradual slope down and they just filmed it in such a way as to make it look exciting.

  3. I think I am officially an Old Curmudgeon ™, because children, have you never heard of water-born pathogens? I certainly hope you did research as to where that water comes from! And be careful, especially if rain is forecasted. Wear a sweater!

  4. What is this a viral video for? It’s a viral video right? I hope they have their tetanus shots.

  5. PLEASE tell me they didn’t forget to apply sunscreen! AND to reapply after they would get out of the water!

  6. You guys, I just have nothing to say about this. Mostly because right now, all I care about is the fact that noted future hologram Will.I.Am just took shit to the next level:

    Boom boom POW! Compared to this, waterslides are SO 2000-late!

  7. Now I feel kinda bad that we didn’t invite Gabe.

  8. It looked like a lot of fun until Russell Brand showed up and tried to outfuned them (0:50)

  9. Well, it’s official. I’m old now. All I could think was “gross…super gross. trash. gross. ugh.”

  10. Also what are they so excited about? Could it be the fact that Ann Romney has a “real” marriage? She told us last night! I’m so glad she told us that she’s not in some same-sex FAKE marriage.

  11. I sure hope these goons are up to date on their tetanus shots.

  12. Well, one thing is certain, they sure have a great taste in music for soundtracking these videos. Imagine some Boards of Canada or something in the background, or at the very least Justice if you want something livelier.

  13. You guys totally fell for it: this is a marketing video for Juicy Fruit.

  14. I hope they all get spinal injuries and horrible diseases so they stop doing extreme fun in national parks. Now get the fuck off my lawn.

  15. I googled “Angel of Bummers” and apparently it is a 100% Gabe Delahaye original unique phrase. I LOVE IT. I love it even more because it can be cheated and has a Final Destination-style payback policy.

    • Ya,the entire sentence of,”They cheated the Angel of Bummers and now he is going to Final Destination their next chill hang” was just so perfect.

  16. They’re now selling a tetanus shot with every RVCA tank top.

  17. This has to go to end up being some kind of marketing campaign. If they want us to believe them, they’ve got to add at least one chubby friend to their group. I’m not trying to be clever, I’m just giving them legitimate advice on how to make this campaign seem authentic.

  18. 1.24 There’s your ugly chubby friend. You just never paid attention!

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