Sometimes you hear a combination of words and you think, “Sure, those words make sense together. I get it.” Right? I hope you’re still with me here. Because then some other times you hear a combination of words and the words are “Pier One Imports Rap Training Video (from 2003)” and you think, “Oh no. No, I understand what those words mean separately, but together? Oh no.” And that’s the situation we’re in right now, basically. The second situation. (Thanks for the tip, Scott!)

Comments (28)
  1. Consider me Pier One ImPRESSED!

  2. So it’s now fine for me to go to a Pier 1 and demand the floor person start rapping for me, right?

  3. Oh man there are 1 million white people dancing gifs to me made here.

  4. They seem like the kind of people who’d be excited to RSVP to a sales training webinar.

  5. LET’S MAKE THE SALE, YO

  6. Oh, wow. I just read a nightmare article about anti-gay conferences (http://equalitymatters.org/blog/201208280001 – VERY INTERESTING!) but this might be even more of a nightmare.

  7. THIS WAS probably made BY A MICHAEL SCOTT-like manager.

  8. Overproduced, yet shoddily-made, just like their merchandise.

  9. i’m very disappointed that i’ve never had to watch a training video. i mean, when i worked at macy’s we had to watch something about unions or some shit, but nothing as mind-erupting as this.

  10. I watched only a little of this and it was on mute; does anybody rap “My name is X and I’m here to say” at any point?

  11. I used to do financial analysis for a manufacturing company. I worked out of the accounting offices, which were nowhere near any of the factories, but we had to do the compulsory safety training all the same. It was little video game and you had to go through various scenarios and react approriately in order to pass. I found out you can do them as many times as you like and you can make your little man do ANYTHING. I spent a good 3 days doing the fire safety one. When you try to put out the fire with flammable material it makes a little explosion. When you try to put it out with cardboard it tells you “Warning: you are making the fire bigger!” When you throw yourself on the fire your little avatar screams dispassionately. The sexual harassment one as pretty good, too.

  12. MC Flounce Pillow in da house!

  13. Let’s look at this for a second…

    A consulting group was hired to come up with a “fun” way to energize the new hires (or problem employees) and give the corporation a friendly face to remind sales associates to on message. Other ideas were rejected for this.

    Writers, actors, musicians, editors, gaffers, producers and wardrobe consultants were all contracted to make this happen. People may have tried out and were rejected* for this gig and now look at this training video as the paycheck that got away, possibly more so if it’s gone viral.**

    *My mom used to make training videos for her job and said rejecting stock models and actors for videos about insurance compliance was one the strangest thing she’s ever done. She had to say “no, you’re not looking for the person who would hold the wrong file.”
    **This could have been the intent, but I seriously doubt it.

  14. Yep, almost a quarter of this video is credits – And, that is after the video tricks you into thinking you won’t have to hear that song anymore.

  15. When i grow up, i wanna be just like Amber Lewis, but i have no idea how you become a Leave of Absence Coordinator (at 3:03)

  16. So many things haunt my brain piece, but for the sake of brevity A) why is the Communications Specialist’s name the most difficult to pronounce? B) are they saying Let’s Training, like “Let’s just both of us approach the incredibly impressionable white lady and force her to spend all of her money.” Because that is a very specific scenario. Are we to believe that Pier 1 has a training video for all possible scenarios? Engage the muthafuckin’ customer.

  17. “Amberly”

  18. I think I deserve an explanation. Yes, I’m looking at you, Amberly.

    And I still actually don’t understand what “let’s” coaching is. Is saying “let’s do this thing” to someone considered coaching? “Let’s get you a job!”

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