Kelly: Hey, Gabe
Gabe: hi kelly
Kelly: How are you today?
Gabe: i am great and terrible
Gabe: my day contains multitudes
Kelly: That doesn’t sound half bad! Hahaha
Kelly: Why are you so terrible? Want to talk about it?
Gabe: i’m just very tired
Gabe: i have no idea why!
Gabe: it’s really a pretty powerful mystery
Kelly: No one knows why people get tired
Gabe: it’s like
Gabe: you have a million drinks and go to bed at 3AM
Gabe: so everything seems like it should be fine
Gabe: because your life is perfect
Gabe: but then sometimes you’re tired
Gabe: and it’s like well what is all that about
Gabe: maybe i’m just NERVOUS!
Kelly: Uh-oh nervous for what?
Gabe: about the olympics
Kelly: Oh no, Gabe
Gabe: are those still on?
Kelly: I am so sorry
Kelly: No, they aren’t on anymore!
Kelly: You just missed them!
Gabe: this day just keeps getting worse and worse
Kelly: Well, they’ll be on again soon.
Kelly: Don’t let it get you down.
Kelly: Hey so here’s a question that might cheer you up
Gabe: haha i bet
Gabe: i love questions!
Gabe: nothing cheers me up more than a great question
Kelly: I know I know I know
Gabe: let’s hear it!
Kelly: So here it is: Where does the new Three Stooges movie fall on your list of favorite date night movies?
Kelly: I know you love it
Kelly: But is it like #1 or what
Kelly: That’s fair!
Gabe: my list goes
Gabe: #1 Irreversible
Gabe: #2 The Three Stooges (2012)
Gabe: #3 Beyonce videos
Kelly: great choices
Gabe: you were right, that sure cheered me up
Gabe: that question
Gabe: thanks for asking!
Gabe: you got a hot date or something?
Kelly: That’s a little out of line I think
Gabe: you asking me about my favorite date night movies
Gabe: is what was out of line
Gabe: but now that we are here
Gabe: in HR
Gabe: for your exit interview
Kelly: Ok, well I guess I have nothing to lose then!
Kelly: Yes I have a super hot hot hot date but had no idea what movie to watch on it
Kelly: But then I found this video of Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J of the Insane Clown Posse listing their top 5 favorite date night movies
Kelly: Which helped, like, A LOT
Gabe: it’s weird you even asked me
Gabe: since you have
Gabe: five dates already planned for you now
Gabe: after watching that video
Gabe: five perfect dates
Kelly: The only thing was that I needed to know where in the date lineup to put the Three Stooges movie
Gabe: what kind of date night involves watching an old movie?
Gabe: go out!
Gabe: get out there in the world!
Kelly: Oooh look who’s Mr. World
Kelly: “I don’t know who these clowns are watching movies on dates, I take all my dates to Paris and then on a spaceship with a fancy chef, like a gentleman.”
Gabe: you can go to the movie theater on a date
Kelly: If you WANT to get bed bugs, I guess
Gabe: then the two of you can get rid of your bedbugs together
Gabe: it will bring you closer
Kelly: Oh that would be very sweet
Gabe: or maybe only one person gets bed bugs
Gabe: so they have to move into the other one’s apartment
Gabe: and now they live together and are married
Kelly: Holy moly I need to get to a movie theater or the couches department of a JC Penneys right away
Gabe: what are your top 5 date night department store couches?
Kelly: All of the filthiest looking ones from least to most filthy.
Gabe: seriously, though
Gabe: i can imagine a nice date night at home, i GUESSSSS where you watch a movie, but even then
Gabe: it’s going to be some movie you both realized you hadn’t seen yet and wanted to, or wanted to rewatch
Kelly: I think that is probably true in most cases
Kelly: But I do think that if you’re going to the Insane Clown Posse for date night advice
Kelly: It’s NOT because you and your girlfriend already got around to watching Breathless, and now what
Gabe: why is their make up always so WET?
Kelly: That is a very good question.
Kelly: Constant reapplication
Kelly: “Not clown enough. Not clown enough. Not clown enough.”
Kelly: What I want to know is
Kelly: Why are they always asked their opinion about movies?
Gabe: if there are two people whose tongue in cheek and not even real opinions about movies i could not care less about
Kelly: The ICP talking about movies like a couple of dummies genre of video comedy interview is one of the more confusing.
Gabe: also the part where you just know
Gabe: the editors at every site that does that
Gabe: send out an email to the staff
Gabe: being like “this is going to be really fun”
Gabe: “awesome news”
Gabe: “violent j and shaggy 2 dope are dropping by the offices next week!”
Kelly: Hahah ugh gross you’re definitely right stop it
Kelly: “Let’s see how this goes… ”
Gabe: “we are going to ask them about their favorite celebrity couples but if anyone has any other ideas send them along!”
Kelly: Boo to the whole thing
Gabe: then the guys come in
Gabe: and frantically apply their Extra Damp make up
Kelly: “You guys good you guys need anything”
Gabe: all these bottles of Arrowhead water
Gabe: just ringed
Gabe: with face paint
Gabe: and so many people in the office posting photos of themselves with ICP on Instagram
Gabe: “I can’t believe this is my job!”
Gabe: I SEE YOU, JAKE SULLY INTERNET DOT COM
Kelly: I don’t even know what to say
Kelly: because of how upsetting this scenario you’ve drawn is
Gabe: just say goodbye
Gabe: bye bye
Gabe: say bye bye
Kelly: bye bye
Gabe: have fun on your fake date you made up
Gabe: you liar
Kelly: IT’S NOT FAKE HE IS SUPER HOT AND LOOKS LIKE JTT BUT WITH MORE MUSCLES
Kelly: He’s older now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!