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Remember that shit? Wasssssaaaaaap? It was in a commercial!
What it do. I’m Andrew, the dude who writes ‘Yo, Is This Racist?‘, and who created ‘Yo, Should I Dump This Asshole?‘ and basically the main dude you want to get a hold of when you need to ask a stranger on the Internet a difficult question and already know that the answer is “yes. fucking yes”.
It’s always “yes.”
You may also have seen stuff I’ve written on Grantland or Deadspin, if you’re a very specific kind of sports-head.
So listen, I’m going to be helping Kelly (let’s be real, we all know who does the real work around here) make sure the volume of words on this website stays at a respectable level while Gabe is out doing Gabe stuff.
Spoiler alert, it’s probably mostly some indisputably high end snacks.
But, ok, you have a special guest here at Videogum, with a specific area of expertise. So, for all of my posts for today, besides some approximation of the trenchant commentary you’re used to around here, I’m also going to include my judgement, as a percentage, of how racist stuff is. For instance:
- THIS POST: 0% Racist.
but then:
- THIS VIDEO: 100% Racist.
So yeah. If nothing else, it’s good to see we’re correctly calibrated. Let’s do “this.”
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“Who let the dogs out? Oh, wait I did when I saw all these poor people on my property.” — Mitt Romney
Actually there were some loose dogs offscreen, so it’s not racist. Who let them out? They eventually found out who let them out. Chill out, Andrew. It’s not racist to try and find out who to blame for all the loose dogs. Sure it’s a little racist to blame all the nearby visible minorities. But that happened later and offscreen. So the video is not racist. Chill out.
He looked like he wished he had on rubber gloves.
So did they.
Yeah, they looked uncomfortable and behaved much better than I would have.
I find it highly implausible that a group of young black people would have acted that excited to see Mitt Romney in the first place.
Is that racist?
”yes. Fucking yes.” – Guest writer
No. I would think there would be another motivation there – like they thought he was an actor in some made for TV movie or they were being paid to act happy. I can’t imagine any group of minorities except maybe the log cabin republicans who would act like this willingly.
I think the fame and celebrity of the Person who may or may not be the next president is enough to carry the moment for most people, who will act respectfully and pose for a picture or something (hopefully photobomb him, do horns, make a face, or give him the ole stinkpalm in the process)
Last time I checked (at the 2008 elections), republicans were a minority. Ha!
I think they were doing what I would probably do if I met someone whose political opinions were so different than mine that it’s absurd. I would probably take a picture because wouldn’t that be wacky to have a picture of me with some crazy politician who is so wrong about so many things. Wacky.
Bonus! They get to now tell this story when their friends ask, “Why do you have a picture with you and Mitt Romney??” wherein they include the part where he said, “Who let the dogs out” and no one laughed at all because it didn’t even make any sense and was also pretty racist.
As someone whose friends date (#humblebrag), I can confirm that the answer to “Should I dump this asshole?” is indeed always “yes”
Yo?
Dump that asshole.
Oh man, he totally got handshake snubbed at :26. Good on her, for knowing it is never wise to shake a Romneybot’s hand. That way lies madness and probably robot uprisings.
Andrew TI, Safe to say I love you in the only way possible for two men who have never met to love each other and that is one way through a mirror in your room Oh god I should turn this light off
DON’T TURN IT OFF.
DON’T TURN AROUND
I too am a fan!
To quote Alex Kerkovitch, “oh-boy.”
#HappyEndings4Life!!!
oh no, I am never, ever, neverever watching that video again! I’d rather just turn into that ice cream monster lady (remember her? from the gif? the one everyone hates? remember gifs? they’re animated! cool!) and go about my day eating my ice cream brains and smiling and bulging my eyeballs really big at people as I enjoy my delicious ice cream brains and terrify EVERYONE because that’s still way more pleasant than watching that horrible, horrible Romney clip again. thank you no!
I have no idea what you’re referring to.
I thought it was an ice cream monster man…?
Yo, is that sexist?!
only to ice cream monsters.
I always thought it was frosting. Which is weird because I’ve been craving frosting lately.
Best guest editors week ever.
seconded.
i couldn’t even watch this because cringe
oh..you wrote one of the Souper Bowl articles!?!?! That may have been the greatest week of my life.
It’s legit embarrassing how long it took me to write that soup article.
No worries, it’s legit embarrassing how invested I became.
Oh man, all is well and good on the internet today.
Best New Party Game – Romney/Ryan white campaign slogans??
Ryan White jokes? Too soon, man.
I am just happy that that horrifying video looks like “Should I dump this racist asshole?” if you are super tired and have low blood pressure because it is too hot to eat. And that question is forever linked to Mitt Romney.
Yes America, yes you should dump this racist asshole. In November. ZING!!! (It is too hot to be clever.)
Sensitive question.
So one day, my (Korean) brother and I were grocery shopping, and a black woman approached us and asked for our help. She said, “Do you know anything about this Chinese herbal tea? I need help getting a Chinese herbal tea.” We said we didn’t know anything about Chinese herbal tea and sent her on her way without saying anything else.
Obviously, it would have been racist to ask her for help with [insert food item that black people stereotypically like], but – if we’d asked for her expertise in selecting black coffee?
By the way, I think approaching a black person and asking for help with black coffee is racist on its own, but it would’ve been a logical comeback in this situation that might have shown this lady she was being pretty racist? (Also, though I know self-labeling is no defense against being a terrible human being, I identify as a very liberal anti-racist woman of color.)
Andrew, real question:
Are you saying the blog will be about snacks today (awesome) or Gabe is on a snack-based vacation (also awesome)?
Both are great, I just want to know where you can vacation solely on high-end snack foods. And possibly tea sandwiches.
The latter
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
I assume
I’m going to assume it’s like “Eat, Pray, Love” but only about snacks. And Gabe doesn’t find himself in the end, but he does find like eight new uses for salt.
I woul read that book